


I Always Knew Something Was Missing

by HeadphoneArcheologist



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Angst, Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Blood, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Killing, Memory Loss, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2017-11-28 00:43:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 61,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/668331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadphoneArcheologist/pseuds/HeadphoneArcheologist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're Name is John Egbert. Yesterday you woke up in a place you didn't recognize unable to remember even your own name. You met Jade Harley and Dave Strider who saved your life and told you about the world. This place is Limbo and everyone here is in pieces, as in their souls are cut up and scattered, everyone here including yourself is just a mix of random soul bits and memories from what could be hundreds of different people. You also met Rose Lalonde who showed you who you really were, she took all those pieces and found John Egbert. Your eyes are brown but you know they shouldn't be.<br/>Right now you are waiting to find out if they will let you stay here.</p><p>To say you are confused is an understatement, but you can do this, you are making this happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome To Hell Kid

**Author's Note:**

> Hello  
> Headphone Archeologist Here presenting her first ever multiple chapter fic and second ever fan-fiction. I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> A warning for shippers, I do not know yet who I want to ship in this series so there will be a lot of hinting at various ships as well as a lot of teasing while I test the waters and finally decide what ship I will set sail. You have been Warned. ALL THE FEELS. 
> 
> This will be a less shipping and more plot series but don't worry there will be shipping.

Hey, Hey, wake up.  


Are you going to wake up? Yeah that sounds like a damn good idea.  


You were wrong. A headache is splitting, working its way through your thoughts and making you groan inwardly. This is the most unpleasant feeling you have ever experienced, there is a sort of white noise buzzing in your ears and you don’t have the strength to open your eyes so you sit, or rather, lay wherever it is that you are with a pounding pain in your head and ungodly noise ringing and echoing through your skull.  


Okay let’s take this one step at a time.  


Do you remember anything?  


You try to think you really do it just hurts so badly. Try harder. Okay, so what do you remember? Nothing so far, okay simple, think something simple. How about your name? Seriously who doesn’t know their own name?  


Apparently that would be you, or so it would seem.  


As you try to recall your name a million voices shout a million different words to you incoherently. Abandoning that effort you try to recall where you are, endless landscapes flash behind your eyelids, perfectly painted by memory in your mind’s eye as if sculpted with paint on a smooth canvas. Any one of these places could be where you are now, the only solution seems to be opening your goddamn eyes and finding out for yourself.  


You aren’t looking forward to that.  


Carefully you peak one eye open, you blink once and then again trying to take in the dark black sky above you. Somewhere there is a slight light but above you there is only black. Somehow you find this odd but cannot place why, you seek your memory and thousands of strange things flashes through your mind making you wince.  


Your whole body hurts, that’s the first thing you notice. It feels like there is a constant and unbearable pressure pushing on all of your limbs, almost like all the cells in your body are trying desperately to dislodge themselves, you think briefly that it feels like your body is a prison and all the inmates are making a break for it. Clad in black and white stripes they pound on concrete walls, shake metallic chains, rock against cold steel bars, sirens blare, guns fire, all of them doing anything to break free of the sealed box that is your; on another note you really are not sure where you were going with this.  


You quickly abandon that metaphor because it is seriously doing nothing for your headache which you wish would just go away already goddammit! You really do not know how much more of this searing pain you can take.  


As a distraction you decide to take in your surroundings. Your gaze trails from the pitch black sky to the buildings around you, the walls are all varying shades of black or gray, sometimes a hint of brown paneling or trim but with black rooftops it is all very monochrome. The street is smooth and the color of the sky; you note a few street lamps on lining the sidewalk, all giving off a soft white light. It seems so unfamiliar from what you are used to. It’s not like the hard burning yellow light that seems to be everywhere in the fast paced pictures flashing through your head.  


Finally you look down at yourself, you are sprawled on the cold sidewalk, a pair of dark denim that is comfortable and not skin tight thank god covers your legs, a plain white T-shit with an odd green shape flat center in the chest covers your torso (you decide to call the little green design a slime ghost for no apparent reason) you are also wearing a long black coat that looks like it would trail down to about mid-calf. Interesting, all in all very monochrome, just like the surroundings.  


This place is weird and it takes you no time at all to decide suddenly that you hate it here.  


Slowly and uncertainly you stand, mussels screaming in protest, bones threatening to buckle beneath you. A groan escapes your lips which you notice are chapped and dry, you try to say something, anything really but it comes out as a gravely exhale which ends in coughing. Your throat is dry and your mouth feels as if you ate a cotton ball before passing out on the sidewalk. You swallow thickly, and it hardly helps since your mouth has no saliva in it.  


Seconds turn to minutes before you feel that you are ready to start moving through this odd city that you can’t recall ever being in, then again you don’t even know who you are right now. You only know that you woke up here feeling like you just rose from the dead, cause of death, falling off a skyscraper. At least that would explain the pain you’re in you think. If not it has to be at least close enough to make an adequate comparison.  


Wait, why is everything suddenly tilted?  


Oh, you’re leaning dangerously to one side, stumbling to keep your balance you make your way to a wall which feels cold and rough against your pale skin. You hold yourself there, pressing your cheek against the cold surface until you regain your bearings. You feel nauseous now, like you might puke.  


You continue stumbling, this time brushing the wall with your fingertips in case you need it again. 

You wonder briefly how much time has passed, time seems to be one of those things you remember, it’s something you think all people would remember even if their minds had been wiped clean. You think it’s been close to a few hours but it could easily have been a few days.  


A desperate feeling rises in your gut, you want to find someone, anyone, someone to tell you where you are, who you are, what’s happening, or anything at all really. You just want to make sense of all the pictures and sounds in your head.  


Your pace becomes faster and you stumble a bit more but you think you have managed to at least dull the pain in your well everywhere with the distraction of finding other life in this desolate city. You try one of the doors, tapping it lightly then with more vigor. The sound echoes but otherwise leaves you in silence.  


Another attempt, no one answers, odd. Where is everyone in this godforsaken place? Aren’t cities supposed to be populated? You think they are anyway.  


At that moment you notice something, a small amount of movement from the corner of your eye. The figure quickly moves away, white clothing almost vanishing against a white backdrop. Desperate for another human being (hell even a non-human would work for you right now) you give chase shouting. “Hey hold on a moment!”  


It’s really difficult to move fast without it ringing pain throughout your thin frame. Somehow you manage it, catching a flash of movement as the figure in question ducks behind another mass of buildings but you aren’t far behind.  


Eventually, after what feels like more hours that could be days of chasing the white flash that is what you hope a person you manage to end up at a dead end, a frightened little girl standing with her back against the wall looking for a way out.  


“Who-” wow that sounded bad, a sort of gravely cracked noise that escaped your lips could not possibly have been words. You swallow and try again, running the tip of your tongue along your chapped lips. “Who are you?” you ask, okay that sounded better, still bad but understandable.  


She just looks at you frightened. Her stare is one of alarm and surprise, the sort of expression you would see if the person across from you saw something they never expected like say you don’t know a person with two heads.  


You decide to lay off the serious questions that you are dying to ask like where am I, instead you ask for her name. “What’s your name?”  


She seems to think for a moment before slowly answering with a great deal of hesitation “Casey.”  


That name sounds familiar but you don’t recognize the little girl with oddly orange hair that falls down her back in a slight wave. You smile despite yourself, there is something funny about that name, something you recognize and it makes you feel warm all over. Not THAT kind of warm, like a familiarity, like some long lost joke between you and a friend, like something important you shouldn’t have forgotten, you don’t have time to ponder it, 

Casey is looking at you nervously, a small smile playing her lips as well.  


“Mister?” she asks when you don’t respond right away.  


“What are you doing out here by yourself?” You ask.  


Casey shifts uncomfortably from one side to another, suddenly looking very shy. “I’m looking for something.” She says.  


You take a cautious testing step forward. “What are you looking for? Maybe I could help?” There are fractions of your memories that are screaming at you to help this girl and you don’t know why. If most people have a voice of reason in their heads, you have about a million and they all want you to do different things. This one however is the loudest so you decide to listen to it.  


She looks up at you confused, and then she says something that confuses you in turn “I’m looking for my eyes.”  


Her eyes, why would someone be looking for eyes, can you even do that? That’s when you realize how wrong her stare looks, her eyes don’t fit her, and it’s an odd feeling. One eye is a light shade of blue while the other is a warm brown and both are different shapes as if she had been pieced together from spare parts. You shiver, something is very wrong here.  


That’s when you notice it, that feeling in your chest like some part of you wants to rip free but even worse than before. That loud voice in your head is telling you to give that part of yourself to her. It’s then that you notice this piece trying to rip away from you doesn’t feel like it belongs to you, so you gently disengage that piece and just hand it to her. You really don’t know how you did it, it just needed to be done you know? It’s sort of an instinct.  


The moment you reach across and hand Casey the dim orange light than you had cut from yourself you feel much better. Some of the images in your mind are leaving and it seems a bit quieter in your head.  


Casey at first looks at you baffled, than she takes the orb of light which vanishes into her being and embraces you tightly. When you look at her again her eyes are now a bright shade of orange, it matches her hair perfectly and now her gaze looks like it belongs on her.  


You smile again despite yourself, you start to notice that something doesn’t feel right about your teeth but you think nothing of it as Casey runs off into the city. That’s when you notice that while you feel a lot better your vision is beginning to blur around the edges, and the more you wander the worse it is getting.  


After what felt like five minutes you can hardly see anything, nothing but huge grey black or white blobs, and their seems to be a permanent white stain of white at the center of your vision. This makes it near impossible to see, none the less you somehow manage to avoid running head on into the person you know is standing in front of you.  


You hear a sharp intake of air and you lift your hand to keep them from talking. You think that if anyone tries to talk to you your head might just pound out of your skull. You start to feel that same sensation from earlier, the strong longing to give up a piece of yourself to this person in front of you. The odd thing is it doesn’t even feel like a piece of you, it feels more like a priceless heirloom that you accidentally acquired and are simply returning to its owner.  


That little nagging voice in the back of your head is calling to you, give it away. Give it up, because it doesn’t belong here and this person can’t live without it.  


That seems to be the kind of person you are, the giving kind.  


So without thinking you carve off another part of yourself and hand it over. You can’t see the expression of the person standing before you, but you like to think that they are happy because of it.  


Suddenly you notice the streets are becoming lively. Out of nowhere the streets seem to be full of people because you can’t even take a few steps forward without bumping into someone and each time you brush shoulders, you feel that uncontrollable desire again.  


It’s odd, each piece you give away the lighter you feel, like years of burdens have been lifted from your mind, it’s a nice weightless feeling, you also notice however, by the fifth chuck of your soul you give away, that you feel weaker and your vision is getting worse.  


You don’t panic though, you stay calm because your head hurts too badly and you can’t think you really can’t.  


More and more of you is given away, the people seem to have gotten greedy because now you can’t even pause for a breath before some voice is asking you for that bit of your soul that actually belongs to them and you can tell too. You can feel that chunk of soul resonate with them when they are near begging to just rip away.  


After what feels like days that could have been five minutes you start to stumble again, a while ago you were begging to find someone and now you just want to be alone. The black edges of your vision are starting to get worse and worse, condensing the world around you to a small window before it all starts to spin and you collapse in what you hope is an empty street. From what you can hear it is, you close your eyes, breathing heavy, heart beat oddly slow, and skin cold.  


For a moment you just lay there until you start to hear voices, you can’t make out everything that they are saying but you try.  
“Jesus! What’s wrong with you!?”  


For a moment it is silent before you feel a hand on your cheek. “Don’t worry” the same female voice says. “We’re going to take care of you.”  
You let out a small whimper which is the only sound you seem capable of making before you finally give in to darkness and lose consciousness. 

\- 

You wake up sometime later to the sound of people arguing. One voice is familiar, but the occasional second voice you don’t recognize. You can’t make out what they are saying but you can tell that the voice that you recognize is pissed.  


Trying to sit up was painful so you flop back down and let out a gurgled groggy groan which seemed to alert them you were awake because suddenly they stopped talking.  


When you try opening your eyes again you see a figure hovering above you, she has warm green eyes with thin rimmed circular glasses framing her face and long tangled black hair falling from her shoulders and tickling the skin on your arm. “Hey are you alright?” she asks, her voice is bubbly with hinted concern but you can tell just by that one phrase that she is a very energetic girl.  


You try talking but you just end up letting out a small whine.  


“Dave how could you let this happen!?” she shouts and you wince from the close proximity. You look away to catch sight of a boy about your age, at least you think, then again you don’t really know how old you are. Odd, where did that thought even come from? He has blond hair that sticks up in some places but still manages to look cool. There is a pair of aviators on his face which make it impossible to see his eyes but the shades look unmistakably familiar to you.  


That when you notice that your vision has suddenly returned, but came with an even worse headache.  


The boy, Dave you assume his name is, shrugs. “He was the one cutting up his soul like a butcher.”  


She doesn’t say anything in response because you groan again at the pain in your head and all eyes turn to you. “Where” you swallow and try again. “Where am I?”  


Her expression softens. “You’re in Limbo sweetie.”  


Your gaze travels over to Dave who adds; “welcome to hell kid.”

\- 

**Dave: Be the other kid**  
What other kid? More importantly who are you calling a kid?  


Oh, right, that kid, the one you just picked off the street.  
You are now Dave Strider; you work underneath your brother, Bro Strider who works underneath Mom Lalonde in the happening business of collecting memories and soul bits. It won’t make much sense at first so for now just go with it, all of this will probably be explained later and you don’t like repeating yourself.  


Still, maybe a little explanation was in order? You could at least describe the events that landed this kid in your care. Yeah that seemed like a good idea.

Fine.

You thought today was going to be normal, you really honestly did, and it was going to be so normal it wouldn’t even be funny. It was going to be fucking vanilla ice cream and cookie cut houses lining street after boring street with children playing in yards and riding bikes while couples walked dogs and shit.  


It was supposed to be the most normal day of your life.  


Only it wasn’t.  


When you first saw him, all buck teeth and unruly hair, you had to stop dead in your tracks and do a double take. Today was one of those days when thankfully you managed to avoid your partner in crime, Jade Harley. Not that you don’t like hanging with her, she’s nice and borders on being attractive in a weird sort of dorky way, however neither of you really like working together, you both just want to do your own thing, and as far as this work went having as little of an audience was beneficial.  


Anyway, getting to the point you were glad Jade was absent from your side because when you caught sight of him your cool guy facade faltered a little and your mouth fell agape and you stared as he stumbled around looking a lot like a drunk trying to find his way home.  


You can’t place what it was about him, he was just so familiar but it was also more than that.  


Normally when you spotted newcomers, people who had just landed in Limbo, you would take their memories and soul bits because they always had the most; see when people first got here they weren’t really people, rather they were a bundle of foreign memories and pieces of souls that could belong to hundreds of different people all in one frail body straining and struggling to find dominance. It was a cruel world where you start out jumbled up like a pile of puzzle pieces half of which wouldn’t interlock with the others. The only thing you can do is give up pieces of yourself, the pieces that didn’t belong, in exchange for the pieces that do fit until you became a whole person again. Somehow you doubt that such a thing is possible, but you keep trying, that’s all you can do is keep looking.  


That was the only reason you agreed to do this work, because if you found any pieces of yourself along the way you got to keep them, it was a sort of mutual effort to get everyone in your group back to normal; something you were still convinced couldn’t happen.  


Especially with people like Bro and Dirk, or Roxy and Mom, but that’s a story for another time.  


This kid before you was a newcomer, and normally you wouldn’t have even batted an eyelash before sinking your sword through his chest and taking those memories from him since most people weren’t so whiling to just give them up.  


But something stopped you, there as something in your mind that was telling you that despite all the people you had already killed; this was the one person you could never kill. It was frustrating because you didn’t even know why.  


The dark haired newly admitted member of Limbo, bran spanking new soul forced to undergo this endless torture that is Hell, stumbled around for a while, before he did something you would have never expected.  


Sometimes people gave up pieces of their soul, but they always got something in return because no one in Limbo simply gave up their soul or their memories. No one ever did that. Yet here you were standing like a stalker, but a cool kid stalker, watching as this kid just took a part of him and gave it to some generic girl who looked boring and ordinary. She was one of those people that blended into the woodwork, name forgotten just moments after being told what it was, an ordinary girl and yet this kid was giving out his soul like stuffed rabbits and this was con air.  


Wait what? You really have no idea what that last part even means; it just popped into your head.  


You quickly ignore that just in time to notice the girl left behind a piece of her own soul in exchange for the fraction she got from the kid. When you’re in Limbo the first thing you want to do is get rid of all the junk soul bits and get all of yours back together, so as usual when you got a piece of yourself, you give a piece of someone else in return.  


This kid obviously didn’t get that memo because he stalks off into the darkness leaving the small glowing bit of soul like he hadn’t even seen it. Slowly you approach and pick it up, stuffing the object into a glass jar.  


You look up in time to see him stagger away, and for a moment you think it might be okay, for once you won’t have to kill anyone to fill your quota.  


That thought is short lived when you start to notice the effects of giving away your soul. He starts to stagger even worse before, he's run into poles several times and you conclude that he is having trouble seeing. Even with his thick rimmed glasses he still manages to be blind. Wow.  


Inwardly you start to panic, what of he dies? Would he die? You don’t know and you hesitate to approach him until he collapses and suddenly you are running to his side, red converse slapping against the ground in a moment of panic, stopping about a yard or two away.  


You look down at the form lying before you, his breath is coming a little slower than normal and each intake of air is ragged. Inwardly you panic but can’t find the will to move. What was wrong with you? People died all the time; sometimes you were the one who was killing them too, so why is this bothering you so much?  


If you had been paying attention you would have seen a figure approaching, but you were too focused. On instinct you started to pull your sword from its sheath on your back, the blade was about two inches out of the wooden scabbard before the light hit it just right to make it sparkle and the figure you hadn’t noticed was running toward you.  


Jade grabbed your wrist and silently screamed at you “Jesus! What’s wrong with you!?” she asked harshly.  


You stare at her from behind your shades. You don’t say anything to her and just stare. She always seems to meet your gaze despite being hidden behind a dark tint.  


Usually your silence is part of your cool kid act, sometimes you hate being quiet but today you find yourself stolen of all your words. You honestly can’t think of anything to save, Dave Strider, The Dave Strider, the cool kid who was oh so good with words and could rap his way through a conversation on the spot is fucking speechless.  


When you finally snap out of your mini coma you look down to see Jade kneeling by the kid. “Don’t worry, we’re going to take care of you” she whispers, just loud enough for you to hear. Normally you would wonder where all this we shit came from but then again you should also be wondering why you even let this kid live when he was an obvious target for someone like you or like Jade.  


She looks up at you and you have a quiet conversation which involves two phrases passed between silent eyes.  


_Help me._  


_Sure._  


You go to her side and life to the boy up, hauling him over your shoulder like he was a sack of laundry or something. You hope the position isn’t too uncomfortable for him but like hell you are carrying him bridal style, this will have to do.  


On the way back you two don’t talk about it, you don’t ask her why she is so concerned about a person who by all logical means should be dead right now, by your hand none the less. She doesn’t tell you why she stopped you when she thought you really were going to kill him. She doesn’t ask why you agreed to help her and you are grateful. You aren’t sure you would answer her if she did.  


When you get back to your little base of operations you both move upstairs and she motions for you to set the kid down on one of the various couches in the room that you couldn’t call a living room but didn’t really seem to be anything else. You set him down and back up while Jade checks his pulse, laying her head on his chest to check his breathing.  


She looks up at you panicking then she is grabbing your hand and forcing you back down stairs. “Come on!” she cries.  


Jade runs down through the shelves and shelves of glowing glass jars, similar to the ones you are currently carrying. She glances at a few and grabs some of them, looking over labels and biting her lip with that ridiculous overbite.  


You would never admit it but inside you are as panicked as Jade is, you frantically (no not frantically, just quickly, Striders are calm and collected) grab every jar she hands you and when you pass a particular shelf you look it over, remembering how the guy was having trouble seeing you figured one of these would be helpful. You settle on something in the light brown category because you really couldn’t give a shit right now.  


You just hope he doesn’t mind.  


Jade hands you a few more things before you are both heading back up to try and revive the dark haired boy. You and Jade, well mostly Jade, you kind of just hung back and watched as she tried to get some of the soul bits in him so he wouldn’t die. Normally you wouldn’t be stupid enough to try and make someone accept pieces that aren’t theirs but desperate times called for desperate measures. Lucky for him whatever Jade was doing seemed to be working as she slipped in soul bit after soul bit.  


When she finished you held your breath, waiting for some sign that he would be alright. Jade looked up at you just as worried when suddenly he started moving. Your breath came out in a sigh as he opened his eyes.  


Jade leans over the boy “Hey are you alright?” she asked, a hint of her normal bubbly tone still there when she wasn’t pissed at you.  


He whines like an injured dog and you feel a pang of guilt. Somehow you felt responsible and that was so uncool. Guilt and regret weren’t part of the sweet life Striders lived; no, it was only full of cool and irony.  


Right now you really wished you were more like Dirk or Bro.  


There is a pause in your thoughts when Jade suddenly turns to you; “Dave how could you let this happen!?”  


You really don’t know how to respond, so you just offer a small shrug, typical Strider answer, vague and not an answer at all. The boy is looking at you now, and you are thankful he won’t know that you are looking back at him. His eyes look so wrong but at least he can see now. You’ll be sure to fix that later maybe with Rose’s help, of course you won’t ask for it. You turn back to Jade when you realize she is waiting for a response “He was the one cutting up his soul like a butcher.”  


She wants to respond but a pained groan turns both your attention on the boy again. “Where am I?” he asks.  


Jade take a breath before saying “You’re in Limbo sweetie.”  


When his brown gaze that is so unfitting travels to you, you add “welcome to hell kid.”

Which leaves you exactly where you left off, with one disoriented kid who by all means should be dead by now leaving you super relieved that he isn’t, seriously what the fuck is wrong with you today, maybe someone slipped you something while you weren’t looking; some kind of cool kid kryptonite or some shit to make you act like a dweeb without the guts to off someone just because they look a little familiar.  


Fuck your life, fuck it hard.  


The silence is becoming awkward as this kid takes in everything you just said. Finally he asks “what’s Limbo?”  


“Limbo is, well this is limbo” Jade says gesturing vaguely with her hands at the room. “It’s where we are, not just like the building, like the whole world. This is Limbo.”  


“How did I get here?” He asks next and you just stare while Jade answers again.  


Jade just sort of shrugs, but it’s more exaggerated than the small twitch of shoulders like you would do. “I don’t know, I don’t think any of us know really, we all just sort of… wake up here.”  


The kid seems to get it and nods his head slowly. Jade smiles warmly and he tries imitate it but it ends up lopsided. You try your best hold in a smile yourself, just barley catching yourself when your lips twitch upward in a small smirk which was about as much emotion as you would ever let into your blank ironic mask of indifference.  


“Do you remember your name?” she asks and his brows knit together before a wince breaks the face of deep thought he was making, a hand snaps up to his forehead.  


He responds with a half whined half whispered “no.”  


Jade doesn’t look surprised and you don’t either, whatever person he is supposed to be you highly doubt he has much of him left in there after everything he gave away and had forced into him to save his life. Jade looks up at you with a look and you already know where this is going.  


“We need to go see Rose” she says softly.  


Honestly you are not looking forward to this; not at all.

\- 

**John: Be the dork who doesn’t remember his name**  
Who exactly are you calling a dork?

“My name is Jade by the way” the nice girl with green eyes says.  


You smile lightly “It’s nice to meet you” you say back.  


You, Jade and Dave have all abandoned the small room to look for this Rose girl. You really have no idea what’s going on but you are so tired you can’t even begin to care. All you know is that your head hurts worse than before and Jade is really nice. You can’t say the same for Dave but that’s just because he hasn’t really spoken much and his face was always set in this impassive look.  


Still you can’t help it when you glance at him; you’re sure he is aware of your gaze burning holes in his back but you have this feeling that you know him but can’t place where. You recognize Jade too but not quite with the same intensity. With Jade it’s a sort of nagging feeling that you forgot something, with Dave it’s like being driven crazy because you can’t remember something, almost an obsession to catch the fleeting thought you lost in your head.  


Alright enough of that, your thoughts instead shift to this Rose person. You thought Dave almost looked nervous when Jade mentioned going to see her and that alone is enough to make you a bit nervous as well.  


Still you were far too tired to really give a shit about anything that was going on around you. You just sort of followed Jade around and told yourself it was for the best to make your heart stop pounding from the fight or flight response going off in your brain. Right now you were going with flight but your body was too tired to care.  


Eventually you were led into a peculiar room. It was lined with rows and rows of glass jars, inside the jars were small glowing objects in various shapes. Your gaze travels to one in particular which looks like a small pyramid. You can see a scene playing out in the crystalline sides, it’s a landscape, long green grass blowing gently underneath a blue sky there is a figure as well but you can’t make the person out before you remember you are supposed to be following Dave and Jade.  


At the end of the seemingly endless halls of shelves there is a door; Dave leads your small little group to it and opens the door as Jade enters, giggling softly for some reason. You feel Dave’s eyes on you the entire time as you walk through.  


The room is pretty dark, and there are more shelves you notice but less than in the last room, and this time these shelves are filled with books, only the occasional glowing jar could be seen holding up certain volumes.  


There is a girl standing on a small step stool, reading passages from choice books before frowning and returning them to their place, pulling down another. Her hair is short and blonde, she looks very similar to Dave and you wonder if they are related. She wears a dark black dress that brushes her ankles, there is a lavender headband in her hair and you notice when she turns to you that it matches her eyes perfectly.  


Her gaze is serious, analytical, it’s almost scary. It’s like being a lab specimen. “Who is this?” she asks, her voice is even, soothing and almost melodic although a bit cold and distant.  


Jade clasps her hands together behind her back and looks happy as ever. “He doesn’t remember that’s why we brought him here!”  


The blond raises one brow in a quizzical look. “Why is he here at all? We can’t go around picking up strays on the street, it’s crowded enough here.”  


Jade bites her lip, looking like she is searching for an answer “Rose!” she whines, dragging out the ‘o’ sound far longer than necessary. “We couldn’t just leave him! He was going to die!”  


The girl, Rose, shakes her head slowly. “Jade” she starts quietly then glances at you again, her stare eyes you up and down; her expression has changed. You get uncomfortable when she doesn’t look away, even when she is speaking to Jade. “I’ll go with your instinct this time.”  


“Instinct… right…” Dave mumbles, dragging out the ‘I’ sound in right, hinting at obvious sarcasm.  


Rose approaches you slowly. “This might feel strange, but trust me it will help.” She places a finger on your forehead and you look at her confused for a moment, almost going cross eyed when a strange tingling shoots through you. It’s like lightning riding your spine to every nerve in your body.  


You feel like the unorganized mess that is you suddenly makes sense. Like drawing out a path on a map, at first it just looks like a jumbled landscape with no way or direction until connections are made between certain landmarks. You gasp and stumble backwards, holding your head with wide eyes. “W-what did you d-do?” You ask softly.  


She smiles slowly, and it looks more like a mischievous smirk. “I created a path that’s all. You should be able to remember much more now, please tell me, has your headache subsided?”  


You pause, yeah; your head doesn’t hurt so badly anymore. It’s numbed to a dull throbbing. Slowly you nod.  


“Good, could you please remind me of your name?”  


You open your mouth preparing to tell her you don’t remember when it clicks in your mind. “John” you hear yourself say, as if it’s coming from a voice that isn’t yours. “John Egbert” you say again, it sounds more natural this time.  


Rose holds a hand out to you and you shake it lightly. You note her fingernails are painted the same shade of her eyes. “Rose Lalonde, it is a pleasure to meet you John. I am to assume David and Jade already have introduced themselves to you?”  


“Sort of” you say, smiling a little.  


She puts a hand on your shoulder to turn you toward the two others you had almost forgotten about. Jade is smiling happily but Dave looks the same, leaning against a wall with his arms folded coolly over his chest. Rose gestures toward Jade first. “This is Jade Harley” her arm drops to her side as she adds “and that is Dave Strider.”  


Dave nods in your direction in recognition of his name. Jade is practically shaking with excitement; she comes forward to grab your hand. “Oh my god it is so good to meet you John!” She giggles and your smile widens.  


“Indeed” Rose interrupts “But now we are left with the question, what to do with you?”  


Jade looks up at Rose with pleading eyes “come on Rose! Can’t John stay here with us!?”  


A light twitch of her shoulders which you think is a shrug is her response coupled with; “I cannot decide that on my own, Mother should probably informed. Until then however I have no objection to John finding a temporary shelter here. Please Jade if you would, the poor boy is probably very much confused, explain the world to him.”  


Jade nods and turns to leave, Dave is already mostly out the door when Rose stops you. You turn to her and she asks; “John, have we met before?”  


She looks familiar you know that for sure, but as far as you know, you don’t actually know her so you shake your head. “Curious” she whispers and lets you go. “Alright then run along John, we will speak again later.”  


Jade tugs you forward and you shout a hasty goodbye before you’re dragged out of the room. 

\- 

“Okay John” Jade starts, you are among the shelves again, Dave has vanished off to god knows where leaving you and Jade alone, she is looking at some of the jars while ‘explaining the world’ to you as Rose put it earlier. “All people are different, and they all have one certain something that makes them who they are, in Limbo we call it a soul but others might say different. Anyway, when people come here, their soul is all mixed up with the soul bits of other people. It’s sort of like a puzzle, only some of the pieces don’t belong to you and others than you need are missing.”  


She picks up a jar and shows it to you. “This is a soul bit, you have hundreds of them inside you right now, here in Limbo soul bits and memories are the most valuable thing in the world. Rose Dave and I are in the trade of gathering and trading these guys to other guys for food and stuff. People are whiling to give up nearly anything for a soul bit that belongs to them.” Jade tosses the jar at you and you barley catch it.  


The small shape inside glows with an unnatural light, confused you look up at jade again. “You always know when a soul bit belongs to you because it resonates with its rightful owner. You’ll feel a certain tingling in your stomach. Do you feel it?”  


You shake your head and Jade takes the jar from you and puts it back on the shelf. For the rest of the conversation Jade pauses to give you jars, asking if it resonates with you. Each time you say no.  


“Basically, no one knows why we end up here, and some people never even find out who they are and go mad from having so many foreign soul bits in them. The only drive people have in Limbo is to complete themselves.”  


“Have you?” You ask suddenly curious.  


She shakes her head “No, not all the way yet, one of the good things about working here is everyone works together to complete the others; in some cases though… it gets complicated.”  


You are about to ask her what she means when you feel your chest tighten and your skin tingle. Your gaze immediately fixates on the jar in her hand. Jade seems to recognize the look on your face because she unscrews the lid and hands the glowing crystal inside to you. You stare at the brilliant light for a moment before holding it to your chest, where it proceeds to vanish into your being. You look up at jade and she smiles.  


“Come on let’s go! We might have had pieces of you floating around for years without realizing it!”  


The next hour is spent checking jar after jar while Jade answers your various questions. You think you are beginning to understand this world. You manage to find three more of your soul bits and in exchange you hand over four soul bits that don’t belong to you. To be honest you feel better without them and each time you find some of your soul you feel worlds better, fuller and fulfilled in some small way.  


You are starting to feel exhausted again, so Jade takes you back upstairs. You end up in a room with five doors lining the walls and a staircase in one corner. She points to one and say; “That’s my room” she points to the one next to it. “That’s Dave’s room” another across from Dave’s “That’s Dirk’s room, you’ll meet him later if Mom lets you stay.” Her finger aims at the room next “That’s Jake’s room, he’s very nice and I’m sure you’ll get along!” she lays her gaze to one last room and simply says. “That’s the bathroom, some advice.” Jade leans closer to you and whispers “If you do get to stay here learn to wake up early otherwise Dirk or Dave will hog all the hot water in the morning!”  


You laugh lightly and look toward the stair case. “What’s up there?”  


Jade follows your gaze. “Oh, that’s Bro’s room. I wouldn’t go up there, like ever.” She drags you to the room you remember is Dave’s. “Rose, Roxy and Mom sleep in another part of the building, we’ll have to find you a place if you get to stay, until then you can sleep here. I’m sure Dave won’t mind.”  


You nod and Jade smiles. She bubbly wishes you a good night before shutting the door. You take in the room around you. The floor is a mess with clothes and chords, the room isn’t that big so the bed takes up most of the space but in one corner you see a bunch of equipment. Were those turntables? Besides the door you came in from there is another which you assume is a closet, you don’t want to intrude so you simply collapse onto Dave’s bed and close your eyes.  


An odd sent clings to the sheets, not unpleasant just odd also familiar. It’s warm, almost like hot sand, also like cinnamon. You breathe in and out before drifting off into a wonderful sleep. With all you have gone through and had to take in today, you think you deserve it.  


Still, you have been sleeping an awful lot!

\- 

When you wake up again (what was it the third time?) you are startled to see Dave standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame “rise and shine sleeping beauty.” He says.  


“Uh… hi” You say sleepily. “What time is it?”  


He shrugs at least you think he does the movement is just so slight you can hardly tell. “I’d say about two in the afternoon, now if you don’t mind; I’d like to get some sleep.”  


You flush “Sorry! I didn’t mean to take your bed!” You scramble to your feet and fix your glasses, Dave steps into the room silently, a definite stride in his step, pun not intended. You quickly scramble out of the room and close it behind you. You breathe in and out before scanning the room before you; game cases are spread around the floor as well as console cords some of the seem familiar and others you recognize. For instance the Nintendo 64 in the corner.  


Remembering which door is which is somewhat difficult, but placing the bathroom isn’t since it’s the one just to the left of the stairs. You head to it, flicking on the light and catching sight of yourself in the mirror.  


Black strands of hair tangle in an unruly mess on your head. You doubt you could tame the mass of raven strands even if you tried. Your skin in pale and you look surprisingly thin, although not to the same extent as Dave. Seriously does he even eat? Your eyes are light brown but they don’t fit your face. Jade says it’s because they aren’t your eyes and that you’ll find yours eventually. You have a pair of thick rimmed glasses perched on your nose. You also notice you have an overbite similar to Jade’s, you suspect yours might be a little more prominent.  


Fingers grip the edge of the counter as you lean heavily on it. You stare down into the white sink and take everything in.  


Your name is John Egbert, you woke up yesterday in a place you didn’t recognize, you met Jade and Dave who told you, you were in a place called Limbo. They took you to their home and introduced you to Rose Lalodne. You learned that your soul is in pieces and scattered, possibly never to be recovered. You recovered a few bits of your soul but the most you remember are short childhood moments which seem to involve large amount of cake. 

You just woke up (again) and are waiting to find out if they will let you stay here.  


To say you’re confused would be a huge understatement but you’re trying to just go with it. After all, what other choice do you have? At least here there are people you know a little, a place where you feel safe.  


A sign blows past your lips, you look up and meet you own gaze again. You can do this, you can totally do this, you are making this happen.


	2. Curiosity Kills Cats, or so You've Been Told

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is Dave Strider and you are not a stalker.
> 
> Your Name is John Egbert and you are a total Dork.
> 
> Your Name is Jade Harley and you know this is going to be great!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headphone Archeologist making an appearance
> 
> Real quick I want to thank everyone for reading it means so much to me it really does, I wasn't planning on posting chapter two until next week but after seeing so many hits I felt obligated to post this now because you guys are great and deserve another chapter. 
> 
> So in this chapter we find out Johns fate, a little bit more about Dave and this shady business of soul collecting. Seriously how could soul collecting not be shady? Honestly people what were you expecting?  
> Also have some Jade POV

Your name is Dave Strider and you are not a stalker, you are however really curious. 

Just because you were crouched in the darkness tracking Rose with your eyes, staying back far enough to not be seen, making no noise each time you move does not mean you are a stalker. Totally not a stalker, what is it that stalkers called it? Observing, yeah that’s what you were doing you were silently observing Rose without her permission, consent or awareness.

It’s not like you actually care whether or not the dork gets to stay, you just really wanna know because seriously you should know the people who are going to live with you. What if this Egbert kid turns out to be a threat? Well then you can start getting dirt on him now and save you a hell of a lot of trouble later on. 

Okay you’ll admit it that’s a terrible reason, seriously who was Ebert going to harm? He was seven kinds of dorky; the only thing he was a threat to was the cool of others. Okay you take it back he was totally a threat to all the Striders in the building. 

See? That’s why it makes perfect sense that you are stalking following Rose to see what Mom thinks about all this. You had the cool of others to protect.

Rose is pretty perceptive you’ll admit, and if you weren’t a Strider she would have noticed you by now. You and your brothers, Bro and Dirk are surprisingly light on your feet and fast, really fast, faster than anyone could hope to be. If you didn’t want someone to see you, they wouldn’t, if you didn’t want someone to catch you, they wouldn’t. It was all part of the package that is fine Strider ass. 

You follow Rose across the courtyard from a safe distance, ducking behind various objects when you think she may notice you; your gaze involuntarily looking upward at the still black sky, only now a bright white sun has risen to give certain area’s a grey look. The sky isn’t supposed to look like this, it should be blue but it’s not. 

The thought is short lived because Rose is on the move again. You follow her into the building across from the one who had been in previously. The second structure is taller by a single story and you know there is a seemingly endless supply of corridors below ground as well. You don’t usually get to go inside so you don’t know what it looks like. Bro claims to know it all like the back of his hand but you are not sure if you believe him. It’s probably all some Ironic prank to get you to go down there and get in large amounts of trouble, not that it would be hard you just don’t have the time.

Even now you are supposed to be working but you couldn’t care less if you tried. You sort of just did what you wanted and pity the poor soul who tries to make you do otherwise; only not because pit wasn’t cool.

Before the door could close fully behind Rose you flash stepped inside, letting the lock click shut. Rose’s footsteps echoed through the silence but yours were silence themselves. 

Eventually you both end up in front of the door you know leads to the home bar that Mom usually hangs at, Roxy too when it’s not in use. Mom would kill Roxy for stealing her liquor more than she would be mad that an underage girl who is almost the equivalent of her daughter in this case is drinking.

The two of them are too similar, and given the circumstance it makes sense. 

Rose knocks lightly, from your hidden place you can just barley hear an alcohol induced giggle as mom calls “Come in!” The door opens and shuts too quickly for you to flash step past it without Rose noticing. So you press your body against the wood and strain to hear their conversation.

“Hello Mother” Rose greets.

“Roooooooxy” Mom drawls.

You have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from snickering. “It is Rose mother” She states flatly.

“Roooooooose” she corrects acting like she never made a mistake in the first place. “What brings you here Rose my sweet little rose.”

Wow she must have hit the bottle hard. “I am here to discuss with you the possibility of adding another person to our board.”

“Oh -HIC- who” 

“His name is John, John Egbert. I believe it is in our best interest to let him stay. I trust Jade’s judgment in this case.”

There is a short pause before Mom asks slowly “Egbert… is he related to Jane?” Odd, she almost sounded sober now.

Another pause “I cannot be certain, he doesn’t seem to remember much. Although I would not be surprised if that were to be the case, the two are strikingly similar.”

“Well” there is a screeching sound of wood against wood which can only mean the bar stool has been moved. You could almost image Mom standing and throwing a drunken pair of arms around Rose as she stumbled into her. “We can’t turn away family can we?”

Rose doesn’t respond for a while and when she finally does she asks; “So then I am to assume John is allowed to stay?” there is another pause for silence “thank you mother.”

You hear Rose approach the door so you flash step out of her path into a dark corner. She pauses for a moment, looking around before stepping toward the exit, she reaches for the knob but stops, letting her hand fall to her side and turning around. “So David, how are you feeling about a new addition to our little group?” 

You freeze, she knew you were there? Damn she was good; you decide not to answer her as if that would somehow mean you never got caught. At your silence Rose just smiles knowingly “try not to get too jealous brother.”

“Half-brother” you remind her out of reflex. Damn now she would know for certain you were here. Well, what do you care if she caught you, you’re too cool to care. 

You aren’t even going to pretend you know how your family tree works or how Rose Lalonde ended up being your half-sister, it’s just not something you want to know. You didn’t even know if it was a father or mother you shared and your earliest memories were only of you and Bro so that did not help in the slightest. Blood relations had to explain how she could always see right through your poker face.  
“Of course” she says smoothly before turning and leaving for real this time. You remain in your dark hiding place for a moment or two, just to think, before stalking off to actually do your job now that curiosity had been momentarily tamed. 

**Be the raging douchebags half sister**  
Yes your half-brother can be a bit much, but you don’t see how that is anyone’s business.

Momentarily you are Rose Lalonde; you don’t really mind that Dave followed you into what was supposed to be a private conversation with your mother. Actually you find his curiosity towards the fate of John interesting. 

You decide to investigate this further; you smirk and laugh lightly, already knowing which notebook you are going to dedicate to their relationship.

It’s funny how Jade and Dave became so fond of John so quickly; Jade you could understand she just loved everyone, Dave not so much. The boy hardly talked, you feel like his association with John would benefit him greatly. You only wish you could remember why he looks so familiar, you can only assume that you and the others know John, you just haven’t remembered it yet.

 **Be The Douchebag Half Brother**  
What the fuck? You don’t have time for this shit right now.

-

It’s not fun, it’s not pleasant and if anyone tells you otherwise they are lying. 

Death is not fun and it sure as hell is not something you like. Killing people is not enjoyable and you do not enjoy it. Cool kids do not like killing, they liked preserved dead things.

The form before you, stumbling over their words, and falling flat on their ass reminds you of John because you know you have it in you to let him go, you let John go, but you won’t let him go. Somehow this concept bothered you, why couldn’t you kill the dark haired boy? What was so special about him? You knew him somehow, you just couldn’t remember, or maybe you did and had just forgotten.

You don’t particularly like it when they beg, not that you like it at all the begging just makes it so much worse. They just go on and on like Karkat when someone gets him going, never shuts up, just goes on and on about how he hates everyone and everything, how everything is just a fucking waste of his precious goddamn time. 

Here the poor bunch of souls is crawling backward from you until his back hits the wall and has nowhere left to go. You take a few more steps forward, sword drawn and at the ready, blood already dripping off the smooth edge and onto the cold concrete staining the ground in crimson. Behind you there are drips of red marking the trail as well as your own red footprints which only solidify what you are doing. You don’t want to do this; you just wish you had it in you to stop.

Death is simple. It is much like this world, everything has a match. The blood on your sword, and the gaping wound behind pale fingers at the man’s side, if your knuckles were cut there was a wound on the man’s face from every single hit, for every broken bone there was an ach in yours, for every injury and mark on your victim there was a matching one on you, sometimes they faded, sometimes they didn’t.

Death was not fun.

“P-please stop!” the voice begged, it sounded wrong, not just panicked and fearful it just didn’t fit the face which was equally unfitting. Nothing about this person made sense, they were just a mess of different people it was hard to tell one from another.

It’ll be better if they just died you try to convince yourself, you really try. This poor soul was probably a few days from becoming twisted like those damn trolls who hide in the dark and mud like maggots, leaches; needing souls, craving them like air to the drowning or blood to a killer. He was better off dead, he was better off not becoming that. You tried to convince yourself you really did. 

Sometimes it worked, most times it didn’t.

You kept on coming forward and the man clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides. Fight or flight, fight or flight, you know he is thinking about it, it doesn’t matter no one gets away from you and anyone who stands up regrets it.

Life is just so fucking awesome wasn’t it? Haha, not, good one Strider, sometimes life fucking sucked and today was one of those times.

Tears are spilling unevenly from his eyes, his cheeks drenched, he is scared, wide eyed in shock no doubt taking in the fact that he is about to die, and you will be the last thing he sees. You continue to step closer until your converse are just one step from his shoes. You thrust your sword into the dark soil beneath you and kneel down slowly. You stare at the frightened man before you through your shades and say one thing. “Give me your memories.”

No one just gave up their soul in Limbo, no one. Still, you feel it is worth a try. Maybe someday you will find someone who would. 

-

When you get back you are fucking tired, you managed to keep blood off your shirt this time at least. The last time you had gotten blood on you, your shirt had been white and it fucking sucked because that shirt was awesome, forever stained. This time however your shirt is black with white shelves, on the center of your chest is a pixelated broken record. So even if there were blood drips you doubt anyone would be able to see them.

At this point the only thing you want is to collapse on your bed and go to fucking sleep. In fact you are so tired you’re too tired to come up with a metaphor for how tired you are.

So yes you must be fucking tired.

It’s a sort of dangerous mixture of weariness and self-loathing actually. You kind of hate yourself for the things you do, but at the same time there isn’t anything else you can do. Here you have family, you have your memories, you have a life and outside of here you don’t have anything but a hot bod and nice ass which did not get you very far in limbo. What other choice was there? This was the price you had to pay, what all of you had to pay.

Sadly as you drag your feet up the stairs and eventually through your door you see a particular head of unruly black hair lying in your bed. You consider several solutions, you could wake him up in the most annoying and loud way possible, or you could prank him in his sleep, draw on his face or some shit. In the end you turn tail and leave, letting him sleep.

Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you. 

Instead of doing the obvious (you must be really sleepy, yeah that’s it) you instead wander into another room, you see Jade there, she is taking a rifle apart and cleaning each piece delicately, it’s her usual ritual after a job. 

There are still a few specks of blood on her white shirt and you suspect on her black jean skirt not that you can actually see them.

You plop down next to her and flick on the TV, for a moment nothing but static plays, and then some show comes on. It’s actually a constant three year and two month loop of the same million year old shows no one understood anymore. If you were to make a metaphor here you would say it was like an echo from the old world in your memories, one that repeats every three years and two months. 

Right now you are lost on trying to pretend you didn’t already know the lesson the colorful ponies would learn. You only watched this carton crap for the sake of irony. That explained why you could recite each episode word for word if you wanted. Which you don’t, it’s only for the irony. 

After a few minutes you asked Jade the question that had been burning a hole in your frontal lobe for the past five minutes. “Why is John in my room?” 

“He was tired” Jade stated simply.

You roll your eyes, and she knows you did even if she can’t see, they always know. There must be some sort of facial twitch or something that tips them off. They always know dammit. “Alright, so the derp was tired, why is he sleeping in my room?”

She shrugs “I thought it would be better if he wasn’t in a strangers bed, well I mean, at least he knows our name and stuff! It seemed indecent to let a boy sleep in my bed so that left only yours available.”

Another roll of your eyes in her general direction and she sticks her tongue out at you. “Fine, it’s not like he can sleep all day.”

It turns out he could.

You made a mental note to kill Jade later. 

-  
 **John: Discover your destiny!**  
You aren’t sure you’re going to find that, but you could at least figure out what your plans are. 

First things first you step out of the bathroom and wander into the room you had woken up in the first time. Jade is sitting there with some kind or weapon, is that a rifle? Her green eyes catch you almost instantly the moment you walk in “Hi John!”

You grin and give a little dorky wave “Hi Jade.”

She pauses for a moment and then looks down at her hand. You can see small colorful strings tied to her fingers and can’t help but wonder what they are for. Jade eyes a lavender one in particular and then breaths in excitedly as if suddenly struck with an idea, or maybe remembering something. “Oh John, Rose was looking for you earlier!”

You wonder when your throat got so dry and nod slowly, a little nervous. Jade continues. “Yeah she’s waiting for you um… hold on let me remember, oh! She waiting for you downstairs, you should find her easily, do you remember the way to the shelves?” You nod again and she grins brightly, her slight overbite visible. “Alright then you best not keep her waiting!”

Another nod and you drag your feet toward the staircase, looking back at Jade for a moment. “Aren’t you coming?”

She yawns, stretching her arms over her head. “Actually I’m going to go to sleep. I only stayed up to tell you to talk to Rose.”

You scratch the back of your neck. “Oh sorry… wait, why are you going to sleep so early?”

“I’m sure Rose will explain.”

That somehow seems pretty ominous; you stare at her for a moment longer before walking toward the staircase. You pause at the first step and turn around to see Jade waving from her bedroom door. You wave back and she leaves your sight, so you begin descending the steps.

So you are going to talk to Rose, neat, you didn’t get much of a chance to really talk to her yesterday. You like talking to people, at last you think you do, for all you know it’s just one of those other memories telling you so. 

Damn this is infuriating.

On ground level you scan the room before you; there are several doors, so the questions remains, which door is the right one “Rose?” you call, talking a few steps inside. 

“In here” she calls back, you turn your attention to the same old door you walked through yesterday, it is open a little and light is screaming through. You push the door open and find yourself in the same room as yesterday. You don’t see the familiar head of blond hair so for a moment you are confused. You take another couple steps inside.

Rose spots you first. “John” she states in that smooth analytical voice, you jump startled and turn to face her. She is currently perched on one of those library ladders for shelves that are too high. After getting your attention she climbs down to the floor and eyes you curiously. 

“Good morning, I mean uh, afternoon Rose”

You start to notice that she is actually sort of cute, her hair is blond and the perfect length to frame her pale face and her eyes are wonderful lavender which matches her perfectly somehow. You snap back to reality when you realize she is talking “-in conclusion after much talk we have decided to allow you to stay here.” She must have noticed your look of joy because she is quick to tell you the bad news. “Yes you are permitted to stay, however as a residence you will have to live by our rules is this acceptable?”

You nod once and she plows on.

“First things first, you cannot live here for free, you will have to work just like the rest of us but don’t worry, it will mostly be small jobs so it won’t be difficult. Next, as a whole we all try and complete each other so you will be allowed to take the orbs that belong to you however each will require a special task of its own before you are allowed to take it. Thirdly, we do not yet have a room for you so you’ll have to make do for a while until we can arrange something. Fourth, watch out for Bro and Dirk, I do not believe the two of them take kindly to those who are not family. If you think you can handle it, you are more than welcome to stay John.”

You blink once, twice, and then nod very slowly, hoping you got all that. Rose smiles a little and holds out a hand “Welcome John, I look forward to working with you.” You take her hand and she shakes it.

Rose turns to get back to work when you ask a question. After all, who agreed to do something without knowing what it was first? An idiot that’s who and despite what people might think you are not an idiot. You intend to be smart about this. 

You may or may not have already agreed but still you are not an idiot. Shut up.

“What exactly am I supposed to do?” You figure by asking now you can avoid looking like a fool when she needs you and you have no idea what to do. When is that supposed to start anyway? Wow how dense are you, you agreed to do all of this and you have zero knowledge. 

Okay you may or may not be an idiot.

Still shut up.

Rose turns back to you, tapping her chin with one finger. “The work won’t be difficult john, I won’t ask you to do anything I don’t think you can or you don’t want to do.” When she sees that you aren’t going to respond she goes on. “You will be helping me mostly. Our job here is to gather soul bits and memories; we then take these memories and trade them to others for general necessities. I am sure Jade explained this to you?”

“Sort of, I mean she told me a little but not everything, how do you get the memories anyway?”

The fact that Rose ignores your second questions unnerves you but you don’t let it show, you’re too busy trying to take in all the information Rose is giving you. “We send out some of our people to gather the orbs and I am responsible for collecting and organizing them. My sister Roxy helps on occasion but I am so far the only one capable of analyzing them without actually absorbing them so the job rests with me.”

Delicate hands gesture vaguely at the shelves covered in tiny glowing lights. “It may look like organized chaos but I assure you it isn’t. There is a carful organization employed here John, I don’t expect you to learn it yourself just to know where something goes.” She reaches for a jar and then for the purple sharpie she had behind her ear. Rose quickly scribbles something onto the white peel and stick tab and hands it to you. “See if you can figure out where this one goes.”

You take the jar and eye the label, there are four numbers and then six letters. You look up at Rose who just smirks. You notice that she looks a lot like Dave. Are they related? You wouldn’t be surprised; they both have the same blond hair. You start to wonder what color Dave’s eyes are, Rose’s were very pretty but also an odd color, not odd as if they didn’t fit but not natural. If she and Dave were related it made sense he’d have an odd eye color too right?

That might explain the shades, maybe you were just overthinking.

Rather than think about it further you take note of the number on the jar, noticing the first is a 0. You glance around and notice the shelves are numbered as well. You glance at Rose who nods, as if giving you permission. You start to move along the shelves until you find the section whose first numbers are 0. You match up the next three digits and notice the six letters beside the numbers; you place the jar in alphabetically order with the rest.

Rose had been observing you, she clapped and you bowed dramatically, earning you a small snicker on her part. You grinned, happy to have made her laugh. “You’ll do just fine John and if you need anything just ask.”

A question was already forming in your mind. “Why is everyone asleep so late in the day?”

“Dave and Jade are up late at night. Most everyone here does, you’ll soon find out their sleeping schedules are much opposite to normal.”

You pause, so they were like vampires or something? Awake at night acquiring memories and asleep during the day? “So… basically they sleep during the day and are awake at night.”

Rose nods. “Yes exactly.”

“Why?”

If you had to guess you would say she is reluctant to answer, because she waits for a good thirty seconds before saying anything. “Personal preference I suppose, they say it is easier to collect memories that way.”

“So… everyone is asleep?”

“That is a likely assumption yes; my mother and sister Roxy may or not be but for the most part yes everyone is asleep.” She seems to remember something; you recognize the expression on her face. “If you are to be working here, I will issue you one of these.” She turns and starts walking away from you. You start to follow her however as you round the corner she was already heading back and you almost walk head on into her.

In her hand is a small device. She hands it to you and you run your fingertips over the dark blue surface. It’s smooth and shiny also thin. You flip it over and are met with a blank black screen. “What is this?”

“It is how we communicate with each other, although it more closely resembles a computer than a cell phone. These devices are expensive so take good care of it. You will have to choose a long-in but I will let you figure it out.”

Another nod from you, wow that’s becoming a habit isn’t it? Rose puts a hand on your back between your shoulder blades and starts to usher you out of the room. “I have much work to do John, the others will likely wake in a few hours so you won’t be alone for long. Try not to make too much noise, the boys hate being woken up.”

The door closes quickly behind you, you open your mouth to say something but give up because Rose no doubt won’t be listening. Let’s see, it’s about three PM and everyone is asleep until night which should be around six or seven. 

What the hell are you supposed to do for three hours?

-

Hour one; you sit in the space Jade had occupied earlier, hitting a button on the top of your cellular device so the screen flashed to life. The screen flashed with the words Typheus before going black moments later. Then a small white bar appeared on the screen, the words username were written underneath. 

You thought long and hard about a suitable username, you started to enter something but erased it and typed ‘EctoBiologist’ instead. Moments later another bar appeared and asked for a password. You made it something simple, something you wouldn’t forget but not so simple someone could guess it right away.

For a few moments all you see is a loading screen, then the device flickered again and a menu popped up. The first Icon you notice is small picture of a map with a thumbtack seeming to hold it against the screen. Predictably the word MAPS is written underneath. You select the application and a well laid out blueprint of the city pops up.

The roads don’t have any direction, and if they do it doesn’t make any sense to you. You trace a few of the white lines against the black background for a while, trying to memorize each of the paths just in case. You don’t want to go back outside again, outside is scary, but it’s good to know the layout of the city you live in at least you think so. You notice a small blue dot blinks on the screen and when you select it the words EctoBiologist flash, you also see the words Sburb underneath as well.

What the hell?

You know your own username obviously but what was a Sburb? 

It doesn’t take long for it to click in your head. Oh, that’s the name of the building huh? Strange name, you wonder who came up with it.

-

Hour two; quickly you get bored of looking over the map so you open another application, this one had a cartoon icon with the words PESTERCHUM beneath. At the top you see your own username in blue and a list of other names below in your contacts. Several of them are familiar but one catches your eye because this person sent you a message.

You open the message which reads;

TentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

TT: “Hello John, this is Rose in case you haven’t already guessed. If you have any questions any of us can always be reached through pesterchum. Enjoy.”

TentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

The message was sent a little over five minutes ago. You wonder how she had discovered you so quickly. You don’t bother typing out a reply and instead go to search through the contacts. Some of the names are very funny, others pretty strange. You spend a few minutes trying to match chumhandle with the names you knew. You give up pretty easy.

What? You hardly knew these people, you weren’t a mind reader.

You are about to exit out of pesterchum before another name catches your eye. Hands moving of their own accord you type out a simple message to them on simple instinct.

EB: “Hi!”

You catch yourself just after you hit send. Damn, if your mind had been a little faster you might have saved yourself the embarrassment. You hope they don’t read it, you don’t even know who it is! You are such a dork, sending a random message to a random person and yet you couldn’t stop yourself! It was as automatic as breathing.

Sigh, oh well, maybe they won’t see it.

-

Hour three; you’ve spent the last few minutes drawing a design for your background, you tried several times most of which made no sense to you. At one point you had drawn the words ‘Nic Cage is Awesome!’ on a white background. You deleted the image shortly after.

Finally bored you decided to just copy the slime ghost on your shirt. It turns out pretty good if you do say so yourself. You use the fill tool to make the background blue and draw a small little face on the creature before you think it’s finished.

Quick save and you set the picture as your background. Who knew you were such an awesome artist. The two pictures are identical. Your joy is short lived however because just as it is about to hit six PM you get a message. You open pesterchum thinking Rose is pestering you. As you open the chat your heart sinks.

EctoBiologist [EB] began pestering TurnTechGodHead [TG]

EB: “Hi!”  


TurnTechGodHead [TG] began pestering EctoBiolosit [EB]

TG: “Who the fuck is this?”

Oh god, you forgot to close the chat and they messaged back! Crap what do you say now? 

EB: oh this is uh John!  
TG: egbert seriously  
EB: “Yeah  
TG: So then why exactly are you messaging me?  
TG: “I mean I don’t blame you, I am pretty fucking awesome  
TG: “But I’m also trying to sleep.  
TG: “Even an ass as fine as mine needs beauty sleep.

It takes you a moment longer until you think you know who you are talking to.

EB: “…Dave?  
TG: “The one and only  
TG: “Who else would it be?  
TG: “…”  
TG: “Wait don’t tell me, did you really just send a message to a random person on pesterchum?  
EB: “…”  
TG: “You did didn’t you?”  
TG: “Wow Egbert  
TG: “Just wow, I didn’t think you were that lonely.  
TG: “You should have said something

You smile lightly rolling your eyes. Dave always looked so quiet, one of those I’m too cool to talk to you sort of people. Now you aren’t so sure because on pesterchum it seems to be impossible to get him to be quiet. You wonder why he never seems to talk.

EB: Oh my god Dave shut up.  
TG: I can’t be silenced Egbert.  
TG: Get used to it.  
TG: So I assume Rose hooked you up with one of her handheld computers.  
EB: Yup.  
TG: Then I suppose this means we are stuck with you now?  
EB: Seems so.  
TG: The business just got 20 percent dorkier all thanks to you Egbert.  
EB: Dave!

As if on cue the familiar head of blonde hair steps out of his room and takes a seat next to you. Your brown eyes look over at him, he is still wearing those aviators and a black shirt with white sleeves, you note it’s the same one he had on yesterday.

Rather than speak with you verbally, he sends you another message.

TG: “Well since I’m already awake we might as well talk.  
EB: “Then why don’t you actually talk, we are in the same room.  
TG: “No way bro, texting while in the same room is Ironic.  
EB: “I think you have the wrong definition of Irony Dave.  
TG: “Nope, your dorky mind is just not swag enough to understand these levels of Irony.  
EB: “Oh my god Dave  
EB: “You’re just a big dork aren’t you?  
TG: “No way Egbert, I’m so cool Ice is jealous.  
EB: “Wow that was so cheesy  
EB: “And you so are a dork Dave.  
EB: “I figured you out cool kid.  
EB: “You’re the dork, it is you.  
TG: “Geez Egbert do you ever shut up?  
TG: “Honestly, I don’t think the words Strider and Dork go together.  
TG: “It’s like impossible  
TG: “Like you don’t even understand  
TG: “The worlds going to implode and shit  
TG: “It’ll be Armageddon and it’ll all be your fault Egbert.  
TG: “The worlds going to be destroyed all because you tried to call Dave Strider a Dork.  
EB: “Oh my god Dave do you ever shut up?

You swear you heard him snickering at that last one.  


\- 

**Wake up sleepy Jade girl.**  
Yeah that’s your name, and you wouldn’t be so sleepy if you didn’t have to wake up!

You are now Jade Harley, and you have just woken up. You rub your eyes and notice with dismay that somehow you had forgotten to take off your glasses which are now sitting askew on the bridge of your nose. Well at least you don’t have to put them back on now? Atta girl, find the bright side of everything.

You feel oddly proud of yourself.

For a moment you just lay in your bed, eyeing the stuffed animals that litter your room because there isn’t much else to look at. Like the other bedrooms yours is pretty small but you somehow managed to get a bed to fit inside with all your stuffed friends, electric bass and amp while still having enough room to move around.

You are a space genius. 

A few more moments pass as you stretch and try to wake yourself fully, still stuck in that I’m too sleepy to get up phase. 

Finally you slip out of your bed, still wearing fluffy pajama bottoms and white t shirt with a blue ghost on it. You are too sleepy to change right now, so you just get up and head to the bathroom to brush your teeth and try to settle your messy hair.

You are not successful, not that you ever are.

Afterward you find yourself in the almost living room; you have to say you are surprised by the scene before you. 

John and Dave are sitting on the couch, backs pressed against each other each with a phone in their hands. Dave is hanging his legs off the armrest of the couch and his shielded gaze never looks away from the screen of his phone. John is smiling to himself and even laughs on occasion. You can’t be sure but you think you see Dave smirk a little. You conclude the two of them must be messaging each other.

You also conclude that this means for sure John is going to be sticking around.

This is totally a time for a victory dance. You resist the urge. 

John notices you first, his gaze meets yours and a smile splits his face so you get to see all his teeth. “Hi Jade!” He says happily.

You smile brightly back at him, offering a little wave. You like seeming him happy, Dave too, you really like to see him happy! Dave always looks so serious but you know better, he really wants to express himself he just holds back. You hope he and John can be friends.

The boys move to sit properly at opposite ends of the sofa as you approach but rather than take the obvious seat between them in the middle cushion you plop down so you are laying on both of them, head in Dave’s lap and your legs in Johns. 

“What the hell Harley” Dave says, letting a bit of his annoyance slip into his voice. He almost looks flustered. You giggle and note John is snickering in amusement as well. Dave looks away from you muttering a “whatever” while you sit up and exchange a high five with John who congratulates you on a good prank.

You are smiling so brightly your cheeks hurt. You are so glad John gets to stay! He is so much fun, almost like the brother you never had! You just know having him around is going to make everything better. You can already sense he and Dave will be the best of friends and when you get these feelings you are never wrong!

This is going to be so great!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup  
> Again thank you for reading and leave comments if you want. I'd appreciate it.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed Mom Lalonde, that scene was so much fun to write. 
> 
> Thanks! - Headphone Archeologist


	3. Be John Egbert and be Scared of Dirk Strider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk is not the only thing you are scared of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pesterchum Coding, how do I do. 
> 
> Help.
> 
> So I really don't like this chapter, it was a pain in the ass to write and I am not happy with it, I may make some edits later. Sorry it took so long to post, I kept erasing and re-writing this chapter, eventually I just stopped and decided, fuck it the fans deserve speedy updates so... here you go. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> -Headphone Archeologist

It’s been about an hour since Jade left your company and you must say things have gotten much quieter.

The three of you played games for a while with a bunch of junk food spread out before you. You and Jade talked and laughed, playful shoves were a thing that happened and many other childish antics. You tried to pull Dave into conversation many times, but he would either just shrug or give a short answer that really didn’t help anyone understand what it was he was trying to say. It’s like pulling teeth making him say a single word besides the usual sup or snarky comment. You didn’t really mind though, it was still fun! Sometimes Dave would pause to send you a quiet message on pesterchum, and sometimes you heard him snickering quietly, as if he didn’t want you to hear.

He seemed so far away and you wanted to pull him in.

After a while everything has to end. Eventually Jade checked the time and sighed. She said she had to go and she did with many apologies. She paused to give you a hug before darting down the stairs in a hurry.

The moment Jade left your sight you turned to Dave and asked him; “Don’t you have to go too?”

He shrugged.

You sat in silence for a while, mostly just trading messages back and forth, the silence was comfortable but you still really wanted him to open up and talk already! It wasn’t until just now that Dave looks up like he has a lot on his mind suddenly. He sighs and sends you another message.

TG: Talk to you later man.

TurnTechGodHead [TG] ceased pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

As he stands you get up to follow him because you want to say goodbye, maybe some manly bro hugs were in order? You didn’t know what you expected; you only know you didn’t expect him to be gone the moment you got up. Damn he’s fast! You didn’t even see him move before he was halfway down the steps. You are too busy trying to follow him to notice the sound of a door creaking open and footsteps approaching. You start toward the stairs fully intending to fly down them and catch Dave; that is until you somehow manage to trip over your own feet.

Your face prepares to have a meeting with the floor. It did its hair and everything! But the collision never comes, so you open your eyes and find a hand is gripping the back of your shirt. You open your mouth to say thank you when that same hand is pulling you back and slamming you against the nearest wall. Fingers are suddenly gripping your shoulder so tightly it hurts, and this person’s forearm is pressed against your collarbones, effectively trapping you there.

When you look up you see another blond haired boy who looks strikingly familiar but not in the same way as Dave or Jade, more like he looks like someone you know. You stand frozen to your place in fear, looking back into a void of black where there should be eyes.

He has short spikey blond hair, a bit darker than Dave’s and a pair of triangular shades that look absolutely ridiculous. He is taller than Dave and looks to be older as well. Your attacker leans closer to ask you in what has to be the most intimidating voice ever; “Who the fuck are you?”

Your breath catches in fear and you struggle to get a single word out before someone comes to your rescue, you hear their voice before seeing their face.

“Dickens Dirk, no need to scare the lad is there?”

This new character has an obvious accent but you can’t pinpoint from where; his skin is tan and his hair is dark black, much like yours. His green eyes remind you of Jade, and once that thought occurs to you, you notice other similarities as well.

Suddenly his words click in your mind and you pick out the name Dirk. So this blond was Dirk then?

The Same Dirk everyone had been warning you to avoid.

Oh fuck.

Dirk turns to look at his dark haired companion questioningly. The other just smiles brightly and adds “I believe Rose mentioned something about a new member to our little group. It is nothing to worry yourself over. I doubt Rose would just let any stranger past the perimeter!” you admire his ability to be so calm in this situation. You could feel the glare behind those anime shades.

Your heart is still pounding wildly in your chest, and a voice in the back of your head is telling you to run but you cannot really move. You are that scared and well, Dirk did still have you pinned against the wall.

Another voice broke the silence, a smooth feminine voice you knew very well. “Is there a problem here?”

You turn slowly, as much as your current position will allow, and see Rose. A breath you had not been aware was still in your throat escapes in a sign of relief.

A smile meets her analytical and unwavering stare. “Oh Rose, good evening! There is no issue here I assure you, Dirk and I are merely on our way out.” The boy says cheerfully.

Shaded eyes gaze at Rose before meeting your own fearful stare again. At long last the arm holding you in place releases you and you lean back against the wall for support. You notice your knees are shaking so you don’t trust yourself to walk or move away just yet. Dirk turns to his companion and says simply “let’s go Jake.”

The darker haired boy, Jake you assume his name is, gives you a reassuring smile before following Dirk down the stairs and hopefully out the door. After a few more moments Rose approaches you, a gentle hand touching your shoulder as if inspecting for bruises.

“Are you alright John?” She asks after her short inspection.

You have trouble finding your voice, and when you eventually do all you can choke out is “Who was that!?” You wish you did not sound so frightened.

Her expression softens a bit, god she almost looks like she pities you! You hope she isn’t. “That John, was the infamous Dirk Strider, Dave’s older brother as well as his partner Jake English.”

Oh.

Wait, Dave has a brother and that was him? Thinking back you can see the family resemblance, as well as the seemingly genetic desire to wear sunglasses inside.

You really hope that you don’t have to see Dirk again anytime soon. He was terrifying.

Rose pats your cheek and you turn your gaze to look at her. “Come on John, we have some work to do.”

-

“So wait, Dave has an older brother?” You question, following Rose down the steps as fast as you can.

She nods. “Yes, two as it so happens. They are both good people however they can be a bit… hard to get used to. The Strider family is quite the odd bunch; they hide behind their shades and seldom let anyone in. They can also be difficult to understand.”

Yeah, so far you have encountered two Striders; you like to think of Dave as your friend but you find that Rose is right, he is difficult to understand, and he breeds this air of mystery around him. You wonder why he wears those shades, why he never seems to talk. “So are there any other Striders I should be on the lookout for?” You ask on impulse.

A secretive smile spread across Rose’s lips. “Yes and no, Dave also has a sister.”

“Wait who…” you stop before you finish that sentence, talking and walking. They both have fair pale skin, light blond hair that seems to fall perfectly without any effort whatsoever, you start to see it. “…You are Dave’s Sister?”

She laughs and for a moment you think you have it wrong but then her voice breaks her own giggles. “Half-sister actually, the Lalondes and Striders are related by what I assume is a father. Mother has never mentioned or shown a motherly attitude toward the Strider boys.”

You grin brightly and you don’t even know why.

Rose however snaps you out of your momentary peace, insisting you have work to do. Sigh, something always comes up doesn’t it?

Still, it’s funny to think that Dave and Rose are actually related. You’re hunch was right!

Now you are really curious as to the color of your friend’s eyes.

You move to follow Rose, awaiting your task when a pain strikes you. You stop and hold your head in one hand. You look down and find you are stricken by a sense of vertigo so you snap your eyes shut, stomach churning like you might vomit, you don’t know what is wrong but you feel sick suddenly.

“Are you alright?” Rose asks and you hardly even register her voice until her hand is placed lightly on your back.

It takes you a few moments to recover but soon you nod, the pain is starting to subside and you do not want to worry Rose, so you try to play it off as nothing. “Yeah, just a bit of a headache.”

You had not thought a headache was that big a deal, but when you see Roses face of concern you regret not coming up with a better excuse, or just dodging the question altogether. A chill settles in your bones and it doesn’t vanish.

The dull throb never really goes away.

-

You are tired.

It is about ten at night so you think that’s normal. You only worked with Rose for about an hour before you were falling asleep, even standing up! She told you to go to bed and be prepared to work in the morning. You had nodded and asked her if she was tired. She shook her head, so you asked when she went to sleep because as far as you knew she hadn’t slept at all yet.

Rose just shrugged and rushed you off to bed, insisting that you needed sleep.

Your head still hurts and you aren’t even thinking when you collapse on the familiar bed you had woken up in this morning. Something in your head is telling you this is a bad idea but you are too tired to listen.

That and your head really, really hurt.

You tried not to make it a big deal to Rose but you were actually a little worried, you don’t remember a pain this bad since you woke up with no memories.

None the less, you close your eyes and hope maybe the pain will be more bearable in the morning.

-

You sigh because John has just left your company and you are worried about him. He was complaining about a headache before he left, and while normally you wouldn’t think much of it you were worried. John didn’t have his own memories so this could be serious you just simply did not know. Lalondes, Striders, Harley and English had all worked together to find their memories so you had all found them quickly, you hadn’t had this problem.

John on the other hand was more other people than he was himself. Not to mention he had nearly died yesterday if you believe what Jade had to say. You do because Dave’s went hand in hand with hers.

A thought occurs to you but you really do not want to bring Karkat into this, you feel like John needs to be protected from them for some reason. John just seems so unlike the rest of you, he is kind and remains unsoiled by this world. The trolls on the other hand are like the essence of Limbo, they are living proof of what happens when you stay here too long.

John reminds you that there was a world before this. He also reminds you that maybe, just maybe, there is a way back. He’s like a light in a dark tunnel and you need to protect that light. You think that Dave and Jade feel the same, they had saved Johns life after all.

You slip a purple and black stripped phone out of your pocket. There is a colorful wizard hat charm hanging from one corner, a gift from your mother that you kept to spite her. You start to send a message to your dear half-brother.

TentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering TurnTechGodHead [TG]

TT: Dave  
TG: What do you want Lalonde?  
TT: I need you to pass on a message to Jade. I’m doubling your quota.

Dave does not respond for a while, and when he does you can feel the anger in the red words.

TG: What the fuck?   
TG: You want us to kill more people?   
TG: Does this fucking look easy to you?   
TT: Are you saying you can’t do it?

That was a low shot. You know Dave has a bit of an inferiority complex, understandably so when he was raised by Bro. Dave really looked up to him and always wanted to be strong like him. You know Dave is quite an amazing person, but the things Bro managed almost seemed Superhuman.

None the less, Dave wouldn’t take that kind of challenge lying down and you knew it. You were manipulating him.

TG: There isn’t anything I can’t do and you know it  
TG: I am Dave Strider after all  
TG: Still, why?  
TT: …  
TT: Just do it Dave

TentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering TurnTechGodHead [TG]

TG: Don’t you dare Lalonde  
TG: …  
TG: Coward  
TG: You won’t be able to dodge my questions when I get back

TurnTechGodHead [TG] ceased pestering TentacleTherapist [TT]

You watch the red text flash on your screen for a moment longer; you do not want to answer his questions. You only know that you need to get John back together and fast.

You do not know what might happen if you fail, you just know it will not be good. He could die or worse, end up like the trolls.

Dave is right about one thing, you won’t be able to hide from him when he gets back and he was going to be angry. Then again, unless he wanted to yell at you with words you weren’t going to hear it. You had already decided you were not accepting anymore pesterchum messages from him. You would block him but it is your job to be on call if they need you.

You take this opportunity to shoot Roxy a message as well.

TentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering TipsyGnostalgic [TG]

TT: Roxy I need to talk to you  
TT: Roxy  
TT: Roxy!  
TT: If you don’t answer me now I’ll tell mother you’ve been through her liquor cabinet again.  
TT: I am being serious Roxy  
TT: This is important and cannot be put off  
TT: I’m telling her

You open another chat with your mother.

TentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering MOM

TT: Mother  
TT: I think I should inform you of some poor behavior on Roxy’s part  
TT: She’s been stealing your alcohol again

TentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering MOM

Moments later you receive a text from Roxy.

TipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering Tentacle Therapist [TT]

TG: Okay what’s up sister?  
TT: I need you to pass a message to Dirk and Jake  
TT: Also, I find that name wildly inappropriate.  
TT: You are more closely related to me as my mother than a sister  
TG: Yeah but sister sounds nicer  
TG: Anyway  
TG: What’s the message?  
TT: Tell them I am doubling their quota  
TG: Why?  
TT: I’ll explain later, right now just trust me  
TG: …  
TG: Sure thing sister

TipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering TentacleTherapist [TT]  


\- 

The scene before you looks familiar but you do not know why. The bed with its Ghostbuster sheets, the computer perched on a desk, and the countless movie posters that line the walls. You realize suddenly that the space before you is your own bedroom. Your bedroom from earth, not from limbo, the sky outside is Blue and the grass is green.

Dave is pestering you; you would know that red text anywhere.

You remember everything now, Dave is your best friend and so are Rose and Jade.

The three of you have been friends forever, you all met online and have been in touch ever since. You remember this day was special; this is the day that you and your friends are planning to meet up together in Washington which is where you live. Getting Jade here will be difficult seeing as how she lives on an island somewhere alone with her grandpa, but you will work it out.

You cannot wait to meet them!

The scene before you seems to change, because now you are seeing it from third person. It becomes clear that this was the way it always was. You are watching your fourteen year old self chat happily with his friends as if it is a television program. It’s freaking you out because your own life seems too far away from you now.

Then you feel it, intense pain as the memory is ripped from you. You reach desperately for it, but it is already gone and there is no hope of getting it back. It hurts and you don’t know why, you feel like you are being torn apart. A voice is whispering to you but you don’t know what it is saying.

Your eyes only snap open when you feel yourself falling out of bed.

Oh, you were sleeping. You blink up at the ceiling as the effects of your dream fade. Suddenly you can’t even remember what it was about; just that it had to have been a nightmare because you feel tears on your face. When your eyes focus you cannot see the blurry ceiling anymore. Instead you see a mess of blond hair that looks unmistakable familiar.

Dave.

“Egbert?” he asks and you swear you hear concern in that flat voice.

You groan, rubbing the back of your head, your other hand groping the floor for your glasses. Your headache is much worse now, but you can feel the pain slowly starting to fade as quickly as it had been sprung upon you. Thank goodness, anymore of that and you might have died.

You jump when you feel the arms of your glasses touch either side of your face and you realize Dave is slipping them on for you. The world comes into focus and you can see your blond friend clearly now.

“What time is it?” is the first thing you say, blinking a few times to come fully awake.

“Eight am. Sup?” You feel like he wants to say more in those three words, almost like he is trying to convey something to you in as few syllables as possible. You do not know why but you really want to know.

“Oh” you say almost shyly. “Sorry for sleeping in your room again.”

He shrugs then when he sees no change in your expression he sighs and pulls out his phone, you quickly get his meaning and fish for your own which you remember is on the nightstand.

TurnTechGodHead [TG] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

TG: It’s fine Egbert really   
TG: It’s not like it bothers me   
TG: In fact   
TG: You still don’t have a room right?   
TG: I don’t see why you can’t just stay here   
TG: You sleep when I am awake anyway   
TG: Should work out fine right?   
TG: …   
TG: Egbert?

You stare at the screen for a moment before typing out a reply.

EB: Does that make us roommates?

Dave shrugs and smirks, a small twitch of his lips. A smile spreads across your features and you feel light like a summer sky.

EB: Thanks Dave

His only response is another lonely shrug.

So you eventually find yourself fully awake. Dave went to sleep almost the moment you got out of his room and you don’t really blame him, he has been awake all night. You are still pondering over your dream when you finally go downstairs to find Rose.

All you remember is waking up with a feeling of heartache, everything hurt and not just in the physical sense. You cannot remember the dream but you know it must have been bad. This actually sort of leaves you in fear of falling asleep again. You do not want to have another dream like that.

Rose spots you from where she had been placing labels on glass jars. She looks up and lavender eyes meet wrong brown orbs. “Good morning John, did you sleep well?”

Awkwardly you shift your weight from one side to the other, shoving your hands into your pockets. “Yup” is all you chose to say. You find that you are a terrible liar but while you know Rose noticed she doesn’t press you further, you silently thank her.

Rose looks concerned for a moment before she makes a gesture for you to come closer, so you take a few slow steps toward her. Her fingers trace a line across one of the shelves “so then John, ready to get to work?”

-

After about an hour of sorting memories you begin to notice that holy shit are there a lot of bottles! You notice piles of them in the corners, more than usual anyway. Rose is moving her hands quickly labeling, on occasion she will speak to tell you things such as; “John that’s the wrong shelf.” “No john, it’s over here” “Here John let me show you.”

You flush madly after each correction and quickly add a hasty “sorry!” for each mistake.

The next thing you notice is that Rose seems to be watching you intently, you think it’s because she is worried you will make another mistake so you try to slow down and really read the labels. Sometime later Rose decides that this is going too slow so she picks up armfuls of bottles and labels them while helping you organize.

She hands you one “Here John, take this, oh and this one” she hands you a couple others, all with the same number to start. You are quick to find the proper shelf. You are trying very hard to match Roses speed because she was letting you stay here and you owe these people so much!

Slowly the pile of Jars is getting lower and lower but for the first five minutes it does not seem like it is changing at all! There are just so, many, damn, JARS!

“Rose” you say through your labored breathing. “Why” breath “are” breath “there” breath “So many” breath “Jars today!?”

The blond in question is standing a few feet from you, balancing what seems an impossible number of glass jars in one hand and labeling with the other. She is currently in the middle of straightening some of the objects on the shelves when you catch her attention. Rose looks at you, then at the jars in her hands, and then she walks away, motioning for you to follow.

“I suppose we could take a short break” she says smoothly as she gently places the jars she was holding on a nearby table. “Come” she beckons with her hand, so you follow her.

The room she leads you to, you recognize as the room you first met Rose in.

You didn’t get much of a look at it before but this time around you take the time to look around.

The carpet is black and from what you can tell seems soft. You kind of want to lie down on the floor and just roll around on it. Scratch that it would be weird. The walls look to be dark purple? It is a sort of purplish blue and the room itself is very dark. You cannot see any windows which might explain that. Soft white light is sourced from several lamps in the corners of the room. Tall candle holders sit in various corners as well but remain unlit.

Two plush and elegant chairs sit around a small table. Rose takes one and you sit down across from her, quickly sinking into the velveteen fabric. You have not even noticed how much your feet hurt until you were finally off of them!

Silence stretches between the two of you to the point that Rose has grabbed a book off the table and starts sifting through it. You have let your eyes shut because your headache is starting to come back. Geez it was so annoying! It felt like someone took a hammer the back of your skull!

Someone had to break the silence, and that someone was going to be you. “So… Jars; why are there so many today?”

Rose looks up thoughtfully. “Oh I thought you were sleeping” she closes her book and sets it down gently, elegantly. You have never met anyone with more grace. She drapes her one knee over the other and rests her elbow on top holding her head in that same hand. “…I simply felt it would be best if we found more of your memories as fast as possible. So I took the liberty of increases the quota; at least until you get enough of yourself that your head stops hurting all the time.”

You flush because you didn’t want her to know that, and the wink she gives you lets you know she knows you had not wanted her to know “oh um… thanks?” Nice stuttering John, really, very attractive.

Her light laughter makes you smile. “Gratitude is not necessary, this sort of behavior is normal for us. We are all family here and you are part of our family now John so we will treat you as such.”

That simple statement makes you feel good, like really happy. You feel at home here, and it should be weird because you don’t even really _know_ these people, but you _feel_ like you do so that makes it not weird right? No it makes it even weirder. “Say… how many people live here anyway?”

Her lavender eyes seem lost in thought. You think she might be counting the residence. “Including you, ten.”

Your jaw drops but you are quick to snap it shut again “ten!?”

“Yes John. My mother Lalonde, Roxy Lalonde, Myself, Dave Strider, Bro Strider, Dirk Strider, Jade Harley, Jake English, and Jane Crocker.” She smirks “ten of us in total. Why does that surprise you?”

“Well yeah, sort of, that’s a lot of people Rose!”

She laughs again “don’t worry John, you’ll get used to it.”

You count on your fingers how many people you have met so far. Dave, Jade, Rose, Dirk, Jake… that was five, so you have four more people to meet. You find yourself excited and suddenly you cannot wait. Although you never did officially meet Dirk or Jake you do not want another encounter with them anytime soon so you count them anyway.

After a few more minutes of lounging around and trading mindless chatter, you and Rose decide it’s time to get back to work. Although if someone were to say Rose told you it was time to get to work and she had to drag you out of your seat that wouldn’t be a lie either. More like that’s exactly what happened.

“Rose do we have to?” you whine for what must be the thirteenth time.

There is another sigh on her part. You are surprised she has been so patient this far. “John I know you are tired and I am sure the headaches are not helping, but we have work to do, and this work could very well help you. So yes, we have to.”

Finally you decide it is time to call it quits, she had a point and you really did not see any other way to argue than to continue to whine to her about it. That only works when you are two and you are now… Wait.

What?

How old are you anyway?

Uh…

You don’t remember?

Nope.

Whelp. That happened.

Anyway, you were obviously older than two so whining wasn’t going to get you out of this, even if your feet still hurt and you were longing for a nice velveteen cousin to relax your lazy ass on. Hold on, you are not lazy, you are just tired, and besides, you have a headache.

Come on you are missing half your soul! Give a guy a break.

So anyway, the point is, back to the workplace you go. It was time to go back, back to all those jars and all those memories being played out inside them, back to running from shelf to shelf, back to endlessly trying to match Roses pace. Sigh.

You get back into the pace of things rather quickly, you while started out slow you eventually build back up to the pace you had set before you took that short break.

**John: Skip the Boring Stuff**

Before you know it, hours have past and the pile of jars you had to start with is nearly gone. A few still remain but those would only take a few more minutes to organize. Weird, it feels like the day just went by like that! Like you just skipped all the boring stuff and moved on to the more interesting time of day, the time Dave usually wakes up.

When you see him perched in the doorway you stop and stare for a moment.

He looks…

Absolutely…

Pissed.

It’s strange because he doesn’t actually look much different than normal, but you can see small differences that just scream in your head; run this guy is pissed off! Rose seems to notice it too because she stops and stares at Dave. He doesn’t say anything just nods his head at Rose. Whatever silent conversation they are having it obviously does not involve you because Rose turns to you and says simply; “John I think we are done for today.”

You want to protest because you know something is about to go down but Rose says that with finality, there is no room for you to argue so you simply get up and start for the door. When you pass Dave you think you see a bit of red dripping from his nearly white hair.

The door closes the moment you pass the threshold. You pause to stare at that door a moment longer; tentatively you approach and place your ear against the wood, straining to hear their conversation. Instead you just hear violent tapping. It takes you a moment or two to realize that Dave must be typing on his phone.

Then;

“John I do believe I said your work here was done”

“Eep!” you shriek in a totally manly way, jumping from the door as if it burned. Before you know it, you are running up the stairs, trying not to trip. Oh well, if Dave is typing you would not have been able to hear their conversation anyway.

At the top of the stairs you see Dirk vanish into the room you remember is his, although not before he gives you a two finger wave.

You feel oddly acknowledged and accepted.

Heart still racing from your earlier surprise, you knock carefully on Jade’s door. You really need someone to talk to because you are starting to get worried and maybe a bit scared. You don’t want to fall asleep because you just know the nightmares will come back, and Rose has been acting strange and so has Dave if his sudden ager is any evidence. Inside you can hear a groan so you think you must have woken Jade up. Odd, she should be awake by now.

A very sleep tousled Jade opens the door and gazes at you sleepily. “John?” she yawns before continuing. “What are you doing here?”

You smile sheepishly “hi Jade, I didn’t mean to wake you I just kind of wanted some company.”

She seems much more awake when she smiles brightly at you “of course!” Before you can react she grabs your hand and jerks you inside her room, door clicking shut behind you both. Her room is no bigger than Dave’s but much more crowded with stuffed animals of various sizes, potted plants in the window and a bass in one corner.

Jade ends up taking a place on her bed, lying on her chest balancing her head in her hands, leaning on her elbows. You take a seat on the ground at the foot of her bed; occasionally you can feel her hands in your hair as you talk about various things. One way or another, the conversation turns to Dave.

“Did something happen today?”

“Hm” she hums.

“Dave looked really upset when I saw him, so I was just wondering if anything happened today.”

The comfortable fingers running through your tangled black hair pauses as she sighs. “Rose doubled our quota and I suppose it just bothers him that he has to work.” You feel like this isn’t the whole story but you trust Jade.

This also makes you laugh for some reason; you can imagine Jade smiling as well but when you look up she almost seems sad so you change the subject. “Oh, how long have the two of you worked together anyway?”

She makes a motion that you think is a shrug, but in her position it’s hard to tell. “A while, people in Limbo Don’t age John so time sort of becomes difficult to keep track of. We all take the age we were in our most recent memories”

You stop to consider. If no one ages in Limbo does that mean you are all immortal? You don’t feel immortal. Rather than bother yourself with this, you ask Jade another question. “So that means either of us could be older than we look like now?”

She nods “yup, we could all be middle aged men and we wouldn’t even know it! At least until we get all our memories back.”

You shudder at the thought of being a million year old geezer in the body of a teenager “ew, no thanks I’d rather have all my hair.”

Jade laughs and in turn makes you laugh until your ribs hurt. You think this is nice, Jade is like a younger sister almost, she is fun to talk to and makes you laugh so easily. You hope the two of you can be friends.

“How do you suppose Dave would look like if he was actually middle aged?” She asks out of the blue.

An interesting question, you try to imagine Dave as a stereotypical middle aged guy, balding with a beer belly. The picture does not form so you abandon trying. You conclude Dave would look good no matter what age he was.

Wait what?

Pretending you totally did not just think Dave Strider was attractive (because that was totally gay if you didn’t know) you answer Jade’s question. “I can’t really imagine him any different; he would probably look like he does now, just taller and wiser.”

She giggles and nods her head. “Yeah, I don’t think Strider know how to not look good!”

This puzzles you a bit, so you turn your gaze onto her. When you look up you see a light dust of pink on Jade’s cheeks and that’s when it finally hits you.

You think Jade Harley might have a crush on Dave Strider.

Silence breeds for a moment before you both erupt into uncontrollable giggles. Really Jade could make you laugh at anything, that’s kind of what made her so special.

After your laughter subsides, you resume your position, leaning your head back against the mattress to look up at your dark haired friend. “Do you know how old you are?”

She nods enthusiastically “yup! My earliest memory is actually of my eighteenth birthday. I don’t remember much of it though.”

This stops you dead in your tracks. “Wait you are eighteen!?” Jade laughs and nods; you are shocked, she looks so young! She even acts like a kid, how could she be eighteen!? This simply does not register in your brain at all. “No way, you look so young!”

“I get that a lot, I have a baby face.”

There is a brief silence between the two of you as you digest this. Eager to break the silence you decide to ask her; “How old is Dave?” Just for the hell of it, you don’t actually care really; he’s still your bro no matter what.

“Dave is seventeen I think, that boy hardly ever talks so who knows!” her hands are coming through your hair again soothingly and you close your eyes and lose yourself in the sensation of it. “So, how old are you John? Can you remember?”

In your memory you see yourself as about the same age as you are now, you know you are a teen but other than that you have nothing. There isn’t anything to give you an actual number so you shake your head.

This news does not deter her optimism. “I am sure you’ll find out soon! We’ll get you all your memories don’t worry!”

You want to believe her, you really do; you just don’t know if that is going to be possible. You really don’t.

Jade sits up suddenly without warning and pulls your hair in the process. You wince and she apologizes. “Sorry John, I have to go! But you are free to stay here? You know until I get back? I’ll try to be fast I promise!”

You nod and she smiles. You’ve gotten used to it on her face and in fact you can’t imagine her any other way. She grabs a few things before rushing out the door, leaving you alone.

The question, now what do you do?

**John: Be crazy and talk to inanimate objects.**

You decide to pass the time by telling all the stuffed animals about your day. You go over everything, complaining for what must be fifteen minutes about the sheer number of jars you had to deal with today. This act proves to be much more boring than you first thought.

At some point you must have dozed off, because you wake up to Jade shaking you looking scared, she keeps on repeating your name, over and over and its hypnotizing. When you wake up you almost catapult yourself into a sitting position but Jade is holding your shoulders down. Good thing, otherwise you would have collided with her forehead. You are crying which is when you realize you just had another nightmare. “John! John are you alright?”

It takes you another minute to answer because you are still in that awkward state where the nightmare is real and fresh in your mind. You try to open your mouth to tell her about it but all at once the memory of it is gone and you are left blinking in confusion. “Uh… yeah, yeah I’m fine! Hehe, just a nightmare I think…”

“Oh, was it really bad?”

You shrug trying to play it off while you wipe tears off your face with your sleeve. “I don’t know, I don’t remember it”

She nods in understanding before taking a seat on her bed against the headboard. She pats the space next to her and you join her. Normally you would feel awkward but this just feels nice. It feels like Jade is family, like you can tell her anything. “Does this happen a lot?” she asks once you have situated yourself.

“Yes, or no, I don’t know. I don’t remember ever having nightmares before I got here but now… Now I’m kind of scared to sleep, hehe, that’s stupid isn’t it?”

Jade shakes her head. “Don’t worry John; I’ll stay up with you.”

She does stay up with you, talking about anything that comes to mind. With Jade you never seem to run out of topics to discuss. You laugh and smile until she is falling asleep on you.

It’s nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, Headphone Archeologist here to say thanks for reading this chapter It means so much to me!
> 
> If you have any advice on coding maybe, comment please, I could use the help because I realize it can be difficult to distinguish pesterchums without the colors. (E.g. TurntechGodHead = TG TipsyGnostalic = TG)
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> Hey I just met you and this is crazy  
> but here's my Fanfic, so comment maybe?


	4. Just Another Headache, No Big Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange meetings, Ironic movies and Roxy's drunk. What a surprise.  
> Then things take a turn for the worse and even if none of them like it, it is the only option left, at least Rose seems to think so. It is time to call the Trolls.
> 
> Jade: Be a Bad Ass with a Rifle.  
> Jade: Realize this is actually sadder than you thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, dropping new characters like it was going out of style.  
> word. 
> 
> No but seriously hows it going readers? Headphone Archeologist here bringing you chapter 4. Can you guess who it is John met in the street!? We shall see in later installments.

You are John Egbert, and today you are going to do something you haven’t done for the better half of three days.

You are going outside.

Shocking, you know. 

This may not seem like much of a feat but for you it is, you haven’t been outside for a long time and to be honest you are not sure you even want to go out there. This world of Limbo is still frightening for you, maybe that’s because you nearly died your first night here.

Still you are willing to give it another chance, mostly because Rose is practically throwing you out the door. You have been working very hard since you got here because you feel like you owe these people, but eventually Rose decided that you need to go out, so you are going out.

You do not really know what to expect.

But it certainly is not what you find. 

There is an entirely different world in your head, a world that you can’t distinctly remember, only bits and pieces of it. You did not expect to find it when you walked out the door, well, it’s nowhere near the world you wished it was, but it was close.

People were on the streets but you notice how they walked on the other side when they passed the building you were standing in front of. (It feels too odd to call it home. You’ve only been there for what three days?) You wonder why that is when the door clicks shut behind you.

The sky is brighter than the first time you saw it, the color is a dingy grey that almost looks blue if you imagine hard enough. The sun emits a soft white light but you still cannot stare without wincing and turning away. There are also quite a few more people than the first time you were out here. It must have had something to do with the time of day?

Everything seemed so… ordinary. This being a dark world where everything is black and white and depressing, where everyone is in shreds who need to be put back together again, it is so painfully normal that you are almost disappointed.

Across from you are buildings with open signs and things ranging from clothing to toys shine brightly behind glass windows. People are walking like nothing is wrong, sometimes they stop and they talk for a while. It is all so painfully normal. This is like when you were little and your dad told you Santa was not real. 

Okay you don’t actually remember that but shut up!

You may or may not also continue to entertain the thought of a man in red who delivers toys.

Shut up. Santa made the world magical alright? Geez. 

You trail your gaze up and down the street and as you start walking. You quickly began to realize the streets are beyond confusing, whether it is the odd titles or that fact they do not seem to have any organized layout. You fish out your phone and open up the maps application.

Surveying the map only seemed to prove to you that yup, this city has no logical pattern of its streets. It looks almost like a web with random diagonal lines and a few smaller ones connecting to the main roads. What was the most odd were the curved roads that didn’t seem to make much sense and just sort of snaked their way around buildings. 

With your thumb you trace a path a blue path along the touch screen. You do not have a destination in mind so you end up just tracing some random pattern which snapped itself to the streets. You then begin to follow the path you have created into the city.

You are soon thinking that hey maybe this won’t be quite as bad as you thought. 

It turns out that it really isn’t. 

Some people offer a quiet good morning you as you walk past so you smile and wave in return. See John? This isn’t so bad is it? Nope, not at all, although the constant mix of mixed up faces in the crowd is a bit unnerving. It hits you just then and there that not everyone is like Dave, Jade or Rose. They are more like you, mixed up beyond belief. You could look at Rose or Jade or Dave and think that their looks belong to them; you could not do that with these people, or even with your own reflection.

How had they managed to put themselves back together? You suspect it’s because they work together. Still you are even more curious about the strange business they seem to run. 

This is not something you want to think about right now, so you just let out a contented sign and continue to trace the directionless pattern of streets. 

Somewhere along the way someone pushes past you and you nearly fall flat on your face. Smooth, that is you; you are the epitome of suave. 

The women does pause however to turn toward you. “Hey are you alright?” she asks. 

You look up and nearly flinch at the sight before you. Her hair is long and messy; it is a bright blond color at the roots but turns various shades of black toward the tips. There are streaks of other colors as well, dark brown and some red here and there. Her skin is pale; actually it’s a lighter shade of grey. The whites of her eyes look almost yellow. Her one eye is blue but the other half is green so they mix teal in the center. The other eye looks… odd. She smirks and you can see pointed teeth peak beneath her blue lips. 

“uh…” you say so intelligently. “Hi” you add for good measure, the icing on the dorky idiot cake.

The strange woman rolls her unique eyes and offers you a hand. “Here” she says, you note that her fingers are long and end in points that you could mistake for claws. You uncertainly take her hand and she pulls you to your feet. You wince and rub your sore wrist where her nails had dug into your flesh. 

You dust yourself off for a moment before offering a smile. That’s what polite people do right? “I’m John” you say. 

The woman flinches, her eyes darting at the ground, then to meet your eyes again. She huffs, flipping her hair off her shoulder dramatically and folding her arms squarely over her chest. She looks you over one more time before turning and walking away.

“Wait!” you call after her.

She snickers. “See you around John” she calls back, you smile lightly but that smile fades when you see the looks people are giving this person. It’s a mix of pity and fear. The crowd parts to let her through, avoiding her like the plague.

A few voices filter through the general city noises ‘poor girl’ one of them says, another agrees and a few more mutter other apologies. This confuses you because you didn’t really see anything wrong with her, just that well she looked mixed up but so did everyone else!

You sigh and wonder if you will ever understand this world. 

 

**Somewhere in a galaxy not so far away…**

Pause for a brief moment while you adjust to being a girl.

…

Okay you’re good.

You are now Rose Lalonde. It has been about an hour since you sent John out. You thought fresh air would be good for him but you also needed space for a while. 

You still are not entirely sure what to do about John. You can continue to increase the number of souls the boys and Jade bring in but so far you have not found even a single new memory for John. This is starting to worry you because you do not seem to have many options left.

You do not want to involve the trolls but as things are going you seem to have no other choice. 

Well John’s condition does not seem to be getting any worse so for now you will stick with your current plan. Dave and the others can just deal with it for now, although to be quite honest you dislike putting them in this sort of situation. 

You wonder when you became the sort of person who got attached to others so quickly. What could you say? John Egbert just seemed to have that sort of effect on people; including Dave and Jade of course.

**Be Dave Strider**

Fuck that you just got used to being a girl, you can’t handle a sudden cool kid transition like that; for reals.

**Uh Be Jade Harley?**

That’s more like it. 

What’s more like what? Geez now you are confused! 

Hold on a second, you are far too asleep to be confused. Shall we skip ahead to a point in time when you are actually awake?

Why not?

**Jade: Skip to a point in time when you are awake.**

That is much better. You are Jade Harley and you have just woken up, it is seven twenty five if your bedside clock is right, which you are sure it is. You have maybe an hour before you need to get going, souls didn’t collect themselves. Is John awake? Dave Probably is.

…

You haven’t gotten up yet.

This poses a problem for you. You are really, really, REALLY tired. You haven’t been getting enough sleep and at first it seemed fine but now you see the consequences of such an act. Rose and her increasing the quota thing have you staying out longer and longer, and John has had you staying up later and later.

Poor guy, he’s been having nightmares and what can you say you like to talk to him!

This still doesn’t solve your issue though.

Issue, what Issue? What is this mythical Issue of which you speak?

You need to get up, like now maybe?

Ugh, do you have to?

…Fine, five more minutes.

Yay!

You are Jade Harley and you think you will be someone else for a while because you are going back to sleep. 

**Be Dave Strider now maybe?**

Fine, you suppose you are ready to handle these levels of cool kid now.

Damn Straight, for reals.

So you are now Dave Strider and when you woke up face first in your pillow you found a text from Rose waiting for you. 

TentacleTherapist [TT] Began Pestering TurnTechGodHead [TG]

TT: Dave Come downstairs I need to discuss something with you.

Your poker face turns into a slight frown, the sort of thing no one would normally notice unless they happened to be your sister. You take a moment to fix that before sending a reply.

TG: Sure thing Lalonde, because I totally wasn’t trying to sleep. 

You were not too annoyed, you were getting up anyway. 

After shrugging into a new shirt and pair of jeans you head downstairs to meet with her. You take the time to notice Jade is still asleep and John is nowhere to be seen. You don’t comment although you are uncharacteristically annoyed for some uncool reason.

Despite this you greet Rose looking chill and oh so cool. “Sup?”

She turns to you and smirks. “Hello Brother dear, sleep well?”

Behind your shades you roll your eyes. There she goes. Geez you know you are awesome and all but did she really have to bring up the brother thing every time you talked? Not that you blamed her, anyone would want to flaunt that they are related to you but seriously; every, single, time.

Rather than answer like a normal person you pull out your phone and pester her.

TG: Lalonde what is so important that you had to drag my ass down here?  
TG: I need to get going soon if I am to fill that new ridiculous quota of yours.  
TG: Not that I am complaining.  
TG: Cool kids don’t complain.  
TG: and I am chill as fuck and you know it.

You wince realizing how stupid that sounds a bit too late, luckily you keep any visible tells controlled under your poker face. You play it off well, at least you think so. Rose has always been able to see past you.

Her lavender eyes stare at you for a moment before she sighs and pulls out her own phone. She is always trying to coax you into talking more but you are having none of that.

TT: I wanted to talk to you about the possibility that we might not be able to get John’s memories in time.  
TG: what are you talking about?  
TG: everything seems to be going down fine up in Egbertville  
TT: Dave, you know as well as I do what will happen to John if we fail.  
TG: So we just have to get his memories then  
TT: That’s the issue. We have not found a single one of his memories in a long time and I am worrying about his condition in the future if we do not resolve this.  
TG: …  
TT: I think we may have to involve the trolls.

Your eyes widen behind tinted lenses before you can stop them. You are only glad she cannot see it.

TG: Oh no  
TG: Rose no  
TG: John is my bro and we can handle this  
TG: trust me involving the trolls is a bad idea  
TT: I do not like the idea either  
TT: but we are running short of options  
TT: I will not contact Karkat until I am sure there is no other option  
TT: but it is a serious possibility  
TT: accept it  
TT: I did not call you for your permission, I told you as a heads up, so maybe you can make sure I am not left with only that option.

So basically she is putting this whole thing on you. You resist the urge to clench your teeth in anger and hiss at her like some demonic cat. Hey with eyes like yours it would make sense. Instead you just numbly nod your head.

Your fingers are timed to type out a simple ‘sure thing’ when a voice interrupts you.

“John Egbert what the evr living fuck are you doin’?”

Was that, Roxy?

“Uh…”

“You are LATE you know that?” there is a short pause and then you hear; “Oh John, John, John, Jonny, there are bad people out there you know? What wuld, would, we do if you had got ‘n trouble?” A hiccup and extreme giggling and you give Rose a knowing smirk. Rose just rolls her own pretty little eyes and pushes past you. You follow because this is the sort of thing that might be fun to watch.

“Roxy what are you doing?” Rose asks, when you see the situation you almost double over in laughter. You don’t, but you would like to.

Roxy has her arms around Egbert and looks like she stumbled right into him, her eyes are half lidded in drunken stupor and she has his arms pinned to his sides. John looks up at the both of you with flushed cheeks and pleading eyes. It’s a good look on him.

What?

“Rose oh thank god!” he says.

Roxy sort of slaps her hand on his face, probably in a vain attempt to cover his mouth but ends up just sort of smacking him in the face and leaving her hand there “Shhh… Jonny; you ‘re laaaaaaaaaaate and that’s bad -HIC- if you ‘d been gone longer I might have had to sick the Striders on you.”

You would be insulted that she just compared you to a guard dog but the look on John’s face is too distracting. This is funny as hell.

“Rose!” John Whines. 

Your half-sister is smirking madly and looks like she may break into laughter. She is trying to hide her smile behind her hand but the amusement in her eyes gives her away. “Roxy John is free to leave and return at whatever time he pleases.”

Roxy turns her light eyes toward you and Rose. “fiiiiiiiiine” she whines, stumbling toward you much to John’s relief. She pokes you in the chest, her breath smells like liquor. “And you cool kid; you, keep an eye out for him o-HIC-okay?” 

You can’t help but snicker at the look on Johns face. You give Roxy a barely noticeable nod and add a shrug as you shift your weight, shoving your hands into your pockets and looking ice fucking cold up in this shit. “Sure thing” you say smoothly, noticing Egbert’s gaze linger on you at hearing your voice.

Rose pauses to talk hushed to Roxy, while Egbert shoots you a look. You gaze back at him, not that he would notice underneath the shades. You touch the rims reminiscing, pushing them further up the bridge of your nose to cover it. 

You remember the hell you had to go through to get these glasses. You had even gone as low as to ask the fucking trolls and even then they couldn’t get you the originals, only cheap knocks offs. You can tell because you would know if these were your shades, which they are not but they are close enough. That and they hide your freaky eyes. Bro would have given you the other ironically pointy pair he has but those were claimed by Dirk when he joined your merry band. 

Oh shit Rose is talking.

“-Lets go” she finishes, grabbing John by the arm and tugging him behind her. You go to follow but Roxy grabs you and turns you to face her. 

“Dave you watch out fer that kid ya hear me?” she slurs, sounding serious. Well as serious as a drunk can get.

You shrug and she shakes her head. “No, no… Daaaaaavey… you need to watch ‘im. He’s like not safe here okay? If you don’t watch ‘im… he ain’t going ta survive here” she pap’s your cheek and continues; “Johns like… not really cut out for this place ya know? He’s not a killer like the rest of us. But hey what do I know? I just remember some dark haired brat that hung out with Rosy… could be… be anybody”

You pause. “Roxy” you start evenly. “Do you remember John?” 

She snorts which erupts into a giggle fit. “Don’t worry ‘bout it Davey” she says then staggers off. 

Well that was… different. Did she know John somehow? That was… weird to say the least. Did she say Rose knew him too? This is making your head hurt so you ignore the thoughts and follow after Rose. 

The two of them are back to the shelves so obviously like the cool kid you are you lean against the door frame and just watch them. John is scrambling around from place to place, rearranging the jars and Rose is going around with a notepad. From the occasional correction she calls to John you wonder if she is taking inventory or grading his work like that bitchy high school teacher everyone has. You know the one that won’t settle for anything less than perfect and fails you because your handwriting is bad or some shit.

This metaphor is hitting way to close to reality because Rose would totally be that teacher.

Well it looks like you have to save your Bro from Lalonde. “Egbert” you state simply, he nearly drops the glass he is holding, for which Rose scolds him. John turns toward you and smiles a dorky little grin.

“Yeah Dave?” he asks sheepishly. You take the moment to walk up to him, slinging your arm around his shoulders. It’s easy because he is like a head shorter than you. He laughs nervously. “Um… Dave?”

You ignore him and turn to your half-sister; “yo Lalonde, mind if I borrow the dork?”

John shoves you lightly like he is trying to pull away but you hold him there tightly. “Dave!” he whines “I’m not a dork!”

Rose is snickering but she waves you off with a hand. “Fine, I suppose I can loan one John Egbert to you for the night.”

You nod and give her a thumbs-up to show your appreciation. You slid your arm from around John’s shoulders, return your hands to your skinny jean pockets and walk out the door. You know he is going to follow you, which he does, practically jogging to keep up with your stride.

“Dave” he asks at the top of the steps. “What are we doing?”

He seems disappointed somehow when you take out your phone to answer him that way.

TurnTechGodHead [TG] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

TG: Anything your little heart desires Egbert  
TG: Think of it as a day off

You idly think it would be good for him to relax a little; Rose was clearly worried so you allow yourself the smallest amount of concern as any bro would. It really is strange how fast the two of you hit it off, it is almost like you have known him since forever and it’s impossible to treat him as anything but your best bro.

“Um… could we maybe watch a movie?” he asks. 

You shrug.

TG: Sure

The next twenty minutes are spent arguing over what to watch. 

“Ugh don’t you have any good movies?” He asks. 

TG: I don’t know what kind of movies you have seen Egbert  
TG: But obviously you never saw a single good movie in your life  
TG: What movies do you watch anyway?

Egbert gets this look on his face like he is really concentrating, then he just looks like he is in pain with a headache. Bad choice trying to make him remember stuff, you should have known better. Nice going Strider. “I dunno? I can’t remember, but I do know that all of these suck.”

TG: Your taste in movies obviously sucks then.

“Nuh uh!” he protests.

TG: Admit it Egbert, it’s terrible.  
TG: Sit your ass down, I’ll find something good for us to watch.

You end up making him sit through a Powerpuff Girls movie before he starts to complain. So you make him sit through two more. 

“Seriously?” he asks at the beginning of movie two.

TG: Yes Egbert seriously  
TG: Shits Ironic as hell  
TG: Seriously just stop complaining  
TG: It’s totally better than anything you would have picked

“Is not” he grumbles. 

You start getting off into a long tangent about nothing when Egbert suddenly stops accepting your messages. 

“Dude” you say. 

He just smiles that annoying grin and says “Dave it’s rude to have your phone out during a movie!”

You stare at him blankly, wondering if he is for real. He seems to get the message because he laughs and crosses his arms over his chest defiantly while his phone buzzes from unread messages. “Looks like you will just have to use that pretty voice if you want to talk Strider!”

You don’t know which has you flustered worse; that he wants to hear you talk, or that he said you had a pretty voice.

You effectively shut up for the rest of the movie until John eventually caves and answers your message. You feel victorious and resist the urge to do a victory dance.

You fail to resist the urge.

-

You’ve decided; it is official that you John Egbert are going to Prank one Dave Strider. Not right now of course, right now you really need to be getting some sleep. 

It is going to be the best prank ever.

**Be Jade Harley again**

You are again Jade Harley, now that you have gotten some sleep you feel much better. Nothing has ever felt quite as natural as holding a rifle to you, so that might be helping with your mood some too. 

Some people may think it is odd for a bubbly girl like yourself to like guns so much but what can you say? Your grandpa raised you with guns; at least that’s what you remember of it. Besides, who doesn’t feel good holding a gun? There is just something calming about it. 

You suppose you can see where it might make people a little bit uncomfortable; maybe. 

The point is YOU like holding your rifle, there is a calm sense of familiarity when you reload or take aim, or simply hold the weapon up. It might have something to do with you as stated before, growing up with guns but you don’t know.

Although you do not particularly enjoy killing people, not unless they are bad people, but sometimes you just have to make do with what you got. Otherwise you end up at home and Mom gets mad at you, mom or Roxy anyway. Sometimes Rose, but she is much more understanding. 

So while you prefer offing bad guys you sometimes have to get the good guys too. :(

You go through the process of carefully reloading your gun, listening to the empty shell as it hits the ground; the familiar click that accompanies a new round. You find a suitable target. This can be difficult because people know better than to go outside at night, that and no one will approach the girl with the gun so you always have to be prepared for one to randomly show up. 

A figure runs from the cover of the shadows and into the open street, underneath the buzzing street lamps; almost as if it were simply meant to be. You cannot see their face and maybe it is better that way. 

In one swift motion, you raise your gun, line up the shot. Take one lasting deep breath and hold it in your lungs so you don’t shake the barrel. You line up the cross hairs with the target, aiming for the head or the body, the head when they are closer, the chest when they are not. The chest makes an easier target and you don’t want to miss. Not that you ever do.

Whoever they are, they are halfway across the street when you squeeze back the trigger. The noise echoes through the empty street moments before the figure falls with a dull thud. No doubt this will make other targets in the area flee but that’s alright, you just have to change locations. It won’t be long before the darkness calls another soul out into the open.

You make your way to the body with as quiet steps as you can, although you will never achieve the amount of stealth and speed that Dave can accomplish you surly try.

The light shines brightly, reflecting in the dark blood that pools around the victim. His eyes are open, but have glazed over giving the vibrant color of life a dull frosted look of death. Their skin is pale, too pale to pass them off as simply sleeping.

It was a clean shot, straight through the heart. You did not want to make anyone suffer, one minute they were alive, the next they were dead. There are cracks spreading over their chest, originating at the entry wound, which looks like broken glass. If you were to make a metaphor you would say it looked like you shot a porcelain doll. Was that a Dave worthy comparison? You think so but doubt it would be anything he would actually say a loud.

Scattered around the body are shards of memories, the remains of his soul. There is a glass jar tied to your belt loop just for this. You reach for it, uncap the lid and start shoveling in the littered soul bits. 

When you have finished you stand, your lower lip is quivering with the force of unshed tears. Your hands are stained with blood and there is some on the black jean skirt you always wear. You do not like this, you do not like death but you tell yourself it is necessary.

You know it is a lie.

One tear slips down your cheek and into the dark pool; you can see your reflection in crimson. You allow yourself one tear, one tear for the dead and that is it. You then turn tail and walk away. Dave can handle the bodies for tonight; you do not have it in you. 

Slipping out your phone you smear blood on the screen sending him a message. The address; before you stalk off into the night.

Another shot, another kill, another silent tear shed in their wake.

No words are said, so none are lost.

It can be hard to smile when you get back, it can be impossible sometimes. You feel like a whole different person when you are out here. The small gentle Jade becomes a lioness trying to keep her family alive. This is how they do it, because nothing is worth more in this world then ones memory.

You do not think there is anything left to say on the matter.

**Stop being Jade**

That was sad, so you are going to be Dave for a while.

You got Jade’s message about three minutes ago, and while you were halfway across the city you did manage to get here in that time. You are however reluctant to even touch the dead guy. You have lost countless shirts from dealing with bodies and while you don’t have to do anything beyond get the body out of sight, it is an unpleasant and bloody job.

You and Jade switched back and forth doing this every week or two; it was hard to keep track of time. You guess this means it’s your turn now.

Well, might as well get it over with right? You grab the guy and haul him over your shoulder, staggering a bit because lets face it, the guy is dead weight. You can feel cold blood seeping through your shirt and it is unpleasant, downright gross. You have a guy’s blood seeping into your shirt, how could that not be disgusting?

The body does not need to be taken far, just out of sight. The imps will handle the rest, even more disgusting than the blood thing but it would take too much time to dispose of the body another way. This was easy so you decide not to think about what is going to happen to the guy later.

Your phone buzzes just as you are tossing the dead guy into the darkness between two buildings. 

Jade sent you another address.

Another body

You waste no time heading there. 

**Enough depressing shit, be someone uplifting.**

Okay, we will be John again. His innocence will probably help you forget all the stuff you just read.

Whatever that means

So you are John, what now? Now you’re going downstairs to help Rose out as per your usual routine after grabbing something to eat. The kitchen was always full so you were never short of something to eat, sometimes there was even something already made.

You are eating the last of your gushers when you find Rose. 

“Good morning John” she greets, never lifting her lavender gaze off the notepad she is scribbling in.

“Morning!” you say cheerfully back, stretching your arms over your head. Your headache is back again and worse than usual but you are trying to ignore it. Rose closes her notepad and turns to you. 

“Are you ready to get to work?”

Today there seems to be so many bottles that it is honestly insane how many there are. In fact there are so many that Rose has to label with one hand while organizing with the other. She is much faster than you, so you try to match her pace.

Bad Idea

You quickly find yourself panting because you are essentially running back and forth from shelf to Rose then to shelf and back to Rose again. You barley register the shaking of your hands and how you nearly stumble several times. You don’t notice that anything is wrong until the pile of memories is nearly gone and your head hurts so bad you think you might puke. Your friend’s voice sounds muffled to your ears as the world starts to spin, you register concern on her face so you try to open your mouth and tell her you are fine.

Instead you find yourself hitting the ground and the world has gone black.

Funny when did that happen?

It’s dark now and you can’t see anything obviously. Your body feels light and weightless, almost like you are flying. You have always wanted to fly, you really wish you could. Everything feels warm but you also can’t feel your arms or legs. There is a faint buzzing in your ears that you can’t make go away. When you try to talk nothing breaths past your lips, no noise echoes back to you in the dark.

The voice of your friends makes your heart do all sorts of fluttery things. 

“John! John, are you alright!” Rose cried. Her voice lost its usual calm. 

“Oh my god” came a choked gasp from Jade. It sounded like she was holding back tears, you just wanted to hold her and tell her not to cry. 

“Is he going to wake up?” was all Dave asked, he sounded normal but you think you heard some panic in that dead calm voice, maybe you were imagining it. Your heart did start doing this weird fluttering thing that wasn’t entirely unpleasant at the sound of his familiar vocals. 

“I don’t know!” Rose said again “fuck.” You would gasp if you could you don’t recall ever hearing Rose curse. “Just give me some room”

“What even happened” Jade practically cried.

“It has to be his memories; he does not have enough of them. To be honest it is a surprise he even lasted this long without something like this happening.”

Conversation from there got too quiet to make out. You want to yell at them not to leave you but you can’t get even make a single noise and it is so infuriating! At first the darkness seemed so comfortable and the warmth made you feel like falling asleep and never waking up. Now you were scared because oh my god what if you never wake up again!?

It feels like forever before you hear your friends again and you want to sob in relief because you thought they were gone forever. 

“Is he… going to wake up Rose? He is going to wake up right?” Jade is crying and you want to cry with her.

Rose is quiet for a moment. “He will wake up.” She says defiantly.

Jade lets out a sob and you think you feel something warm touching your hand. “John please wake up… I was just starting to get to know you… God this is like losing a brother Rose!” 

“Jade John isn’t dying.”

“Why is this happening!?”

You hear a loud crash which startles you. “Dave please, violence won’t get you anywhere.” Rose states sympathetically. You hear violent tapping of a phone afterward. You want Dave to talk but you know he won’t. It hurts to know you may never ever hear him ramble on pesterchum again. 

You barley met these people, but you felt like you have always known them. It almost scares you to know how close you got to them so quickly. 

God you want to wake up so badly.

-

 **Be Rose Lalonde**  
Who else would you be? You don’t have time for this!

John just suddenly collapsed and you think you know why. He has a fever which has gone down thank god but he isn’t showing signs of waking up. Jade sits at his side and silently cries. Dave had been here before, if the broken glass was any show of his presence but he ran off after you told him your theory as to why John collapsed like that.

John is looking better than he was earlier but without more of his memories you don’t know what is going to happen. You think his skin might be getting paler which worries you.

Your phone buzzes; you don’t think you have ever whipped out your phone as fast as you just did. 

TurnTechGodHead [TG] began pestering TentacleTherapist [TT]

TG: Rose if we get more of Johns memories will he wake up  
TT: I do not know  
TT: If I knew do you not think I would have tried?  
TG: Rose  
TG: give me some false hope here  
TT: Fine Dave, if you get more of his memories  
TT: He will wake up  
TT: Happy now?  
TG: You could call it that

TurnTechGodHead [TG] ceased pestering TentacleTherapist [TT]

Dave returns hours later, he is covered in blood and just… basically drops countless glass memories in your lap and says one thing. “Fix him.”

You would say this is an interesting development in Dave Strider’s relationship with John but you don’t care right now. You just frantically search for anything that belongs to John because you cannot think of anything else you can do. Dave watches you carefully; occasionally he will move to wipe a spot of blood off his cheek, or out of his hair.

It is quite unnerving. “Dave” you warn “I do not need you hovering over my shoulder.” He continues to stare for a few more moments before walking off. You continue searching.

Three, you happen upon three memories that have the distinct feeling of John; you hope this is enough to wake him up.

Something hits you.

“I need to talk to Mother” you say suddenly, it dawned on you that she has no idea of the situation here and that you have been acting outside her authority. She is not only your mother but your boss and these sorts of developments should be reported.

Maybe she could have helped, if only you had told her about this sooner.

You shove the three shards of John at Jade, who takes them looking startled before storming out of the room. This situation has gone out of hand; you wanted to handle it on your own, maybe just to prove to your mother that you could. It is not as if you have a healthy relationship. 

Enough of these thoughts; you have to focus on John.

**John: Wake the fuck up**

Gladly, you are feeling much better now, but your eyelids are heavy and it hurts when you slowly open your eyes.

The light burns beyond belief but you squint and try to see past it. Jade is leaning over you and this feels strangely nostalgic. You try to smile but you don’t think you are getting it quite right. The light is becoming more and more bearable and eventually you can actually open your eyes all the way without cringing. The world is blurry until you feel your glasses being placed gently on your face. Dave’s face and Jade’s face become suddenly clear.

“Hi” you say like a dork. You don’t care you finally woke up and have your friends back.

She laughs and god have you missed her laugh; you doubt you have been out for very long but it felt like forever. It was killing you to think that you might not see them again. “Hey” she says back. 

Dave is looming somewhere to your left so you take a moment to glance at him, he gives you a thumbs up. 

Sitting up hurts but you try, Jade has a hand on your shoulder telling you to lie back down but you don’t listen at least not until Dave puts a hand on your chest and forces you back down. For some reason this makes you laugh, and Jade looks down at you worried but the look is ruined because of a small smile.

You think everything will be alright.

Rose interrupts you a moment later. “Are you alright John?” she asks approaching, you sit up again and this time no one tries to stop you. You notice an older woman standing behind Rose; she has blond hair much like your friend and a drink in her hand. She looks like an older version of Roxy.

Rose seems to follow your gaze because she sighs and then says “John, this is my mother. Mother, John Egbert.”

She smiles a slow kind of catlike smile “nice to meet you, John.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thank you for reading to the end of this chapter! I bet it took a lot of patience! Haha.
> 
> So feedback is appreciated and if you have a favorite ship let me know, I just might add it in! I already decided to add some Jade/Dave for my friend. (although I am pretty dead set on John/Dave)
> 
> Thanks!  
> -Headphone Archeologist


	5. You Are SO DONE with Trolls, and he is SO DONE with Humans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Count Them, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. Eleven Trolls have Trolled John Egbert Today.
> 
> One John Egbert can only take so much troll in one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup everyone, Headphone Archeologist here to apologize for how late this chapter is! I had meant for this to be updated earlier but OMG SO MANY DEADLINES CAME UP AT ONCE AT SCHOOL! Sadly my fanfic got pushed onto the back burner.  
> I think it is obvious by how often I update that I do not have a life whatsoever, however I do have a little bit of a life and sometimes that little bit of a life gets in the way of non life related things. Like fanfiction.
> 
> Also I am working on a side project, a simple three chapter story for my friend. I might post it up here if I feel like it.
> 
> ANYWAY ENJOY ELEVEN TROLL INTRODUCTIONS AT ONCE! I FUCKING HATE SOME OF THEIR TYPING QUIRKS MICROSOFT WORD HATES THEM TOO! WHY TAVROS WHY!? D:
> 
> Also I didn't have a chance to revise this as thoroughly as usual. Prepare for spelling mistakes bros.

“So you’re John…. Hi” Rose’s mother holds out her hand and nervously you take it, you have no idea what to expect. She shakes your hand so enthusiastically your entire arm is moving erratically.

“Um… yeah; hi Ms. Lalonde” you say, trying to be polite. She still hasn’t stopped shaking your hand and you suspect she won’t for some time. Rose finally steps in, placing her palm atop both of yours.

“Mother” she whispers, a hint of embarrassment in her voice.

“Please John -HIC- everyone just calls me Mom.” She stumbles a bit but finally releases your hand much to your relief, shooing Rose away with a wave of her hand. Rose sighs, looking mortified by her mother’s behavior. The elder Lalonde takes a drink from her glass, spilling some of its clear contents down her chin. You suspect she is not drinking something as innocent as water. The odor assures you of this. “So Jonny, Rose here told me about yur little issue” she slurs her words enough that you can hardly understand her but none the less you managed to catch what she says. 

You are not sure how to respond so you turn toward your friends.

Dave is giving rose what you assume to be a glare but she either cannot see it or just does not care. He is wearing his shades of course but from the set of his features you can always see into his emotions, at least a little. It is almost weird that you can see such things on an impassive person you have only recently met.

Mom continues.

“So I was thinkin’” she says the normal th sound in think but adds another H sound so it sounds like th-hink-in “we can help ya out and all, if yur willing to put the effort”

At this point you have come to a decision.

Mom Lalonde is one of the strangest people you have ever met. She acts much like Roxy did in the moment you met her. The only real differences are the way they talk (Roxy speaks in a more immature manner Mom talks a bit more like a business woman) and the fact that Roxy is much younger looking, not that Ms. Lalonde looks old just older. 

You glance at Dave again who looks like he always does if not a little more tense. Your drag your gaze over toward Jade then and she looks nervous too. You do not like this situation but if anything will keep you from passing out again you are whiling to take it. You turn back to the pair of blond ladies and realize Ms. Lalonde is waiting for an answer.

So is it a yes or a no?

You do not know what to do to be honest; you wish someone would just tell you!

**John: Say yes already**

“Alright” you agree, the reply come so easily that you almost do not register that you have said it until the words are out of your mouth. Mom Lalonde smiles at you but you cannot help wondering if you made the right call.

“Excellent, I’ll get right to arranging everything, Rose follow me.” Mom turns on her heel, spilling her drink some, and walks out. Rose reluctantly follows, offering you a small smile as reassurance, as if she could see into your thoughts. Hey she might as well be a mind reader. The girl always seemed to know exactly what you were thinking at any given moment. 

Dave moves so he is standing beside you almost protectively. You feel the need to start conversation but are too far in a daze to actually form intelligent speech “So that was… Mom Lalonde” you say carefully, finally looking up at Dave. He shrugs and types out a message to you on his cartoonified (is that a word? You do not think so, well it is a word now :B) phone.

TurnTechGodHead [TG] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

TG: She grows on you

You swallow a bit in nervousness. You do not know what you just agreed to do, you just know sitting around in bed all day will get you nowhere as far as paying these people back for all the help they have given you already. 

Hold on just one second.

You just increased your debt didn’t you?

Oh well.

You try to stand up but Jade puts a hand on your shoulder and forces you down much like Dave had earlier. “Sorry John but Rose thinks it would be best if you didn’t move for a while”

So basically you are not allowed to move for the rest of the day. If it isn’t Rose it is Dave or Jade always forcing you back to your bed when you try to get up. You spend the rest of that afternoon sleeping or making patterns in the cracks on Dave’s ceiling.

**=== > Some Time Later**

TurnTechGodHead [TG] began pestering GardenGnostic [GG]

TG: Sup Harley  
GG: Hi Dave!  
GG: About time you got on pesterchum!  
GG: I have been pestering you for the better half of fifteen minutes!  
GG: What have you been up to?

You pause to turn and look at the mess behind you. It’s all blood and red staining back and white scenery. It’s almost like one of those color splash images that you forgot you knew. You can see clearly that your victims eyes have dimmed, having lost all life. The flies are starting to gather and you think that you should probably move soon. His chest is practically ripped open and you remember it, you remember how difficult it was to pull the blade from his body. Apparently the sword went clean through his spine. You would say that it was a nice shot but you don’t because it sickens you a little.

At least he died quickly.

You find you are not comforted.

TG: You know, the usual  
TG: You?  
GG: Usual

You don’t want to talk about it, to her or to anyone and she doesn’t want to talk about it, to you or to anyone. Idly you send her your current address because she had been asking for it for the past fifteen minutes if her past messages have anything to say. She agreed to handle clean up today.

It takes her a while to reply; when you finally feel your phone buzz the message is not what you expected.

GG: Dave we need to head back like now  
GG: I think Rose is going to introduce John to Karkat

GardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering TurnTechGodHead [TG]

TG: Oh fuck no

TurnTechGodHead [TG] ceased pestering GardenGnostic [GG]

-

You must say you have never been so eager to get back home. Jade had caught up to you eventually although she is struggling to match your pace, you could get there faster but as uncool as it is to admit having Jade around is comforting right now. By the time you burst through the doors Jade is panting and doubled over trying to catch her breath. You find Rose easily enough; she seems to be in conversation with someone you can’t see. You don’t care, you are pissed, destructive. This is a bad idea and she knows it is.

“Rose” you hiss, trying to avoid yelling at her and breaking yourself imposed silence. Well, silent as much as you could anyway. She turns to look at you, her stare is calm as a fucking pond and you hate her for it. You are pissed off and she should be terrified. You feel like a fucking nuclear strike about to go off and she doesn’t even have the courtesy to go into the metaphorical basement, not that it would do any good but she could at least act like she cared. Hell you just wanted your anger to be recognized.

“Dave” she says evenly “calm down”

You almost yell; you want to yell, you want to scream and tell her how bad of an idea this is. Instead you resort to nonverbal communication. Meaning you pull out your phone, cased in red with some SB&HJ cartoons.

TurnTechGodHead [TG] began pestering TentacleTherapist [TT]

TG: I am calm  
TG: Im calm as fuck up in this shit  
TG: You see this this is me being calm  
TT: If this is what you call calm I would love to see you angry  
TG: Shut off the snarky bitch act for once Lalonde  
TG: this is serious  
TT: Strider when have I ever been known to take anything otherwise?  
TG: See that  
TG: That’s the snarky bitch mode I was talking about  
TT: I was going more for sarcastic bitch mode thank you  
TG: Rose whatever it is you are thinking of doing  
TG: don’t do it  
TG: this is a bad idea  
TG: remember how bad it was involving the trolls before?  
TG: Whatever happened to taking care of our own?

She does not reply for a while.

TT: Too late Strider

You are about to question her further when a figure steps out from the shadows. His skin is a light grey, black hair matted on his head and small nubby horns peak from beneath the tangles. The whites of his eyes are yellow and the irises are a candy shade of red. Not quite like yours but still unsettling. He squints until his eyes adjust to the light. He sees you and smiles his pearly whites “Hi Fuckass.” 

Karkat motherfucking Vantas, goddamn the last time he was here it took you days to clean up the mess he made. That guy Sollux might make all your equipment and you guys may have an understanding with these guys but you are not allies. The trolls are bad news, any moment they would turn on you. Any fucking moment, they spread disaster everywhere they went. 

The trolls are the equivalent to a fucking tornado, and your little band of merry men is the trailer park. Yeah you still remember what those were.

There was no way you were letting this guy anywhere near John. Sure the kid was a dork and you didn’t know him well but you wanted to protect him from this world as odd as it may sound. He was your friend, a good friend. You were not about to put his life in the hands of a short angry grey dude. You are not throwing the guy to the wind to blow away like Dorothy’s house.

You stare at Rose in disbelief. Jade beats you to the punch line.

“Rose what the hell?”

“Jade dear please do not curse, it does not suit you.”

“I’m going to say whatever the hell I want! Rose John is our friend why would you make this decision without us?”

She stands up a bit taller. “This was not a decision; the order came from Mother, besides, this was an action that needed to be taken.”

“Rose-”

“Jade” She interrupts. “I do not think you understand how grave the situation is. This could save John’s life, it is worth the risk.”

Through the entire conversation you keep your eyes trained on Karkat who is eyeing the memories you have spent countless hours collecting like they were a precious treasure that he wanted to steal. To him they were but he would keep his clawed hands to himself if your ‘agreement’ had anything to say about it.

You take a deep breath because while Rose and Jade argue back and forth you have decided to say something, like actually say it. Out loud, with your awesome chill voice. Everyone present should feel honored. “Vantas” you say loud enough that it shuts both your half-sister and darker haired companion up. “If you come near John I’ll kill you. It would be a nice change of pace, to kill someone who actually deserves it.”

Jade makes a point to stand next to you, puffing out her chest like she was about to take on a grizzly bear. Her whole stance screamed ‘come at me bro’ but with Jade being Jade she didn’t look threatening. You knew however just how much that was untrue. 

“Me too, Karkat John is our friend and you need to leave him alone!”

Karkat raises his hands as if in defeat, or like a man trying to show a vicious dog he was nonthreatening. You were the dog by the way. “Jesus fuck are you guys dense as hell. You make it sound like I am trying to kill the guy, all I did was come down here at your goddamn request to help you for god only knows what reason. Seriously why the fuck do I even bother, trying to help you is like trying to tell a cat to stay out of a tree. Of course you are fucking going to climb it again. I don’t even know why I brother trying with you humans! Fuck this is just the stupidest idea.”

You give him props for not taking a breath during that whole pointless speech. 

Rose is looking from you to Jade and back again. At last you see the fight drain from her eyes and her posture. “Karkat I think they are right, involving you was premature.”

The man in question throws his arms up in the air, letting them slap down at his sides. “Why the fuck do I even bother anyway, you at least owe me something for coming all the way down here for fucking nothing.”

You wonder briefly where one short ass guy got all that angry from.

Seriously, that was a lot of angry to be packed into one guy although you suppose all the trolls are so mixed up they might as well be a couple hundred people in one. 

**Be the short angry dude**

Of course you are angry; these stupid human children just wasted your goddamn time! Jesus fuck you hate associating yourself with them sometimes. It always seems that you are going out of your way to help them and all they do for you is back off your claimed territory. This whole damn arrangement is as fucking one sided as they come.

Fuck your life. 

So instead of even entertaining the thought of sticking around, once they had decided not to accept your fucking help you just stormed out of there. Glaring at Strider as you went. Sometimes you hate that motherfucker.

Now you sound like Gamzee. Fuck this shit. 

“Leaving so soon?”

Your claws are literally about to touch that knob and for a moment you consider just walking out. Seriously why are you even considering staying when they already wasted enough of your damn time already? GOD FUCKING DAMMIT THERE YOU GO TURNING AROUND.

“The Fuck, haven’t you wasted enough of my time? What do you humans think I am? Some shitty help line that you can just call anytime you like? Have you tried maybe turning the fucking computer on and off? Or just solving your own damn problems for once? Excuse you Lalonde but I have my own people to worry about so go fuck yourself”

Rose looks pretty much the same as she did when you left the other room, all short blond hair and Lavender eyes. Her mother Ms. Lalonde (fuck her you aren’t calling her mom) is personally not fond of you so she leaves it up to Rose to handle anything involving you or your people. You limit their interactions to just you because you wouldn’t want to subject any other troll to the pain of having to talk to these people. Terezi has met a few of them but she was sort of weird and you would never let her talk to them if you were not around. At least this time she didn’t have Strider or that jade girl around this time.

“Karkat I still believe it is our best interest for you to help John.”

“Lalonde, the only way I could ever make this work is if I can introduce the kid to Terezi. How do you suppose I should do that when your people are dead set on killing me for so much mentioning the little Fuckass?” 

She shrugs “Dave and Jade do not guard John like a hawk; with my help I can assure you half a day to do whatever is necessary.”

Is she suggesting what you think she is suggesting? Oh wow, she is going to undermine her own people. As far as you know, the other two are ranked below her but still. Well you don’t really give a shit, as long as you got what you were after. Memories of course, they were like a form of currency and you intended to bill them so hard for all this pile of horse shit.

“What do you have in mind?”

**John: Be completely oblivious  
Oblivious; hah, as if you are not oblivious you are being devious. Rose, Jade and Dave all seem to have something else on their minds because none of them are around and you are sneaking out. Haha! **

You just climbed out of your bed and are currently heading toward the door; this is a brilliant plan, really, you have outdone yourself today. Even better is that while your head still hurts the pain is tolerable. Slowly you inch the door open and peer outside.

No one around to see you; wonderful, this is exactly what you need.

The door shuts behind you with a click and you make your way to the stairs, sure to avoid that one squeaky step that never detected a Strider but always caught you. As you scale the staircase you spot your prize, the front door. Before you can take even one step toward it, a hand has clamped around your wrist. 

It’s Rose, shit.

Mentally you prepare yourself an excuse but before a word passes your lips she is dragging you toward the door. 

The chill air is nice on your skin, it’s late and dark outside, you are a bit scared but the sun hasn’t completely set. Rose warned you about going outside at night. 

“Um Rose? Where are we going?” 

She does not answer you, instead she just keeps dragging you behind her. “Rose?” you try again. 

Still no answer “Rose-”

“John just trust me.”

You swallow and nod; she releases your hand and slows her pace so you are walking beside her. The air mists around your mouth and you shiver with each inhale. “How long will it take to get there?” you ask instead.

Rose turns to you “a while, it is on the other side of town. It should not take too long.” 

Turns out it does.

You walk down the strange incoherent streets and find yourself in an area of the city you do not know well, not that you know the city well but things on this side seem more… run down? It’s like lady and the tramp and this is the other side of the tracks, you know the bad side. 

If only Dave were here, he would totally high five you for that metaphor. 

Or totally kill you if Rose was taking you where you think she is.

You are exhausted when you finally reach your destination, which is a bright building with the words ‘Alternia’ against the brick. It does not look like anything special but apparently this is where you are supposed to be because Rose knocks on the door. The person who answers is short, shorter than you but about Roses height. The grey skin and red eyes catch you off guard but you keep your cool.

You do this by emulating Dave, trying to look as uncaring and chill as possible. Oh hi there, grey skin? Psssh I didn’t even notice. 

You fail miserably and end up just starring.

“Take a fucking picture if you like my face so much Fuckass” he says. You snap your jaw shut when you realize your mouth was hanging open. Rose is looking at you as well.

“John this is Karkat, do not let his appearance or lack of dignified vocabulary get to you, he is going to help.”

Karkat rolls his eyes and opens the door wider, motioning for you inside. You comply, only stopping to look at Rose. “Are you coming?”

She shakes her head much to your disappointment. “No, I need to return for when Dave and Jade come back. It will be dark soon so stay with the trolls until it is daylight, alright?”

“Okay, what’s so bad about the night?”

She Never answers, and Karkat calls you from within the building so you turn and go inside.

Rose smiles and waves at you before the door clicks shut. 

Now you are on your own with people you do not know. 

Is it time to panic?

Tempting but no; Rose trusts them so you can trust them too.

Inside is a large room with some sparse furniture, mostly tables and plush couches pushed towards the wall. The center is clear like a dance floor. Some equipment is in the corner and a bar is to the far right. What exactly is this place?

You don’t get any time to find out because Karkat grabs your arm and drags you away.

Karkat leads you instead to a staircase heading down. The lights are dimmer down here, glowing softly but obstructing most of your vision. Eventually you come along a room that looks much like the living space at your own home. (You have come to accept it as your home, even if it does not have that homey feeling yet.) You do not get a good look at the room however because another troll approaches you and before you can react has licked your face. Ew! What the hell?

“Who’s the kid Karkles? He tastes like a dork” she asks while you wipe spit off your face.

“Some stray those fuckers picked up off the street. Apparently that means I of course have to help his sorry Fuckass.”

She nods and holds out a hand for you to take, sporting a predatory grin. “Hi, names Terezi.”

You take her hand and wince when her nails dig into your skin. “Um, I’m John.”

Karkat clears his throat so Terezi turns toward him, she chuckles, leaning on a black and white cane. “Rez do you think you can find more of this guy?”

She taps her chin in thought, finally smiling. “Sure thing Karkles, we are getting paid for this right?”

“Obviously” he growls “why else would I agree to babysit a fucking human?”

Terezi laughs again and you feel sort of awkward because both of them are so far from looking human. Terezi has blocked her eyes off with red sunglasses. From beneath her shoulder length black hair are two pointed horns, longer and sharper than Karkats. It is unsettling. 

You take this time to glance around the room, there are red couches that look really comfortable, two other trolls are here, one with 3D glasses and two pairs of short horns, another with unruly hair and tall horns, is he wearing clown make up? He is mumbling to himself, you think you catch the word miracles a few times. 

“Ii don’t thee why we thtiill bother with the humanth” the troll with four horns says, never looking up from the electronics sitting out in front of him. He has something of a lisp “Theriiouthly Gamzee thut up.” He adds, a comment obviously not directed at you.

Karkat turns his attention to the other trolls. “Sollux you lisping son of a fuck I am the leader and I make the decisions! I don’t like this situation either but Fuck! It’s better than having Humans always on our ass reducing our memory intake. Besides, in case you haven’t noticed we do get fucking paid for this shit.”

The other Troll, Sollux, shrugs “Thtiill theemth like a wathte of tiime.”

Karkat gets into another rant, mostly about how terrible humans are and Sollux kindly listens to him through it. Eventually Terezi takes up conversation with you.

“So how much do you remember?”

You turn to look at her and you notice how her eyes do not seem to be directed on your face exactly. Of course she is looking at you but almost like she isn’t really seeing you there. “Um… not very much, bits and pieces of my childhood I think.”

She leans forward, closer to you, and sniffs the air like she was a dog. “Well, I should be able to help since Karkles asked me so nicely. You do not smell or taste like a person who would be difficult to find.”

You blush, unsure how to react to that. Is she saying you smell bad or something? “What?”

She laughs “I’m blind” she taps her glasses with one clawed finger and smiles “but don’t worry, I can smell memories from miles away, in fact I can smell a few that belong to you nearby.”

“Really, that’s amazing!”

Terezi laughs again, but really you think it is amazing, it also explains a few things about her. You never understood how Rose always knew which bottles belonged to whom; you just never really questioned it. Knowing Terezi however you are beginning to wonder how it is they are able to do the things they do. 

Karkat yells something particularly loud which snaps you out of your thoughts and even gets Terezi’s attention.

“Just MoThErFuCkInG calm down best friend” one voice says.

Another that is obviously Karkat’s counters with; “I AM FUCKING CALM FUCKASS!”

Terezi is giggling softly and you turn back to her “does this happen often?” you ask, still hardly able to believe someone’s face could turn so red from anger.

“All the time, you get used to it after a while.” She sighs “Well since you are here might as well introduce you to everyone right?” While Karkat continues whatever argument he is having with the other troll, Terezi places a hand on your shoulder and points out the taller one with the long pointed horns. You wonder briefly how she can be blind and yet point out people so well. “That guy is Gamzee. That other short guy” she points to the one with four horns “that’s Sollux, he’s a bit of a pain in the ass but you get used to him.”

“Ii heard that Terezii” Sollux comments.

“DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!” Karkat yells back. 

Terezi leans a bit closer to you but never takes her unseeing gaze off of Sollux. “He has a bit of a lisp, try not to mention it, and if he and Eridan are ever in the same room I would back out of it immediately.” 

“Who’s Eridan?”

She chuckles “I could introduce you but I wouldn’t recommend it. He’s not exactly the kind of guy you hang out with by choice.” She taps her chin in thought for a moment “Although while you are here, I suppose I could introduce some of the more tolerable trolls.” Terezi grabs your hand and threatens to grab your hand but Karkat stops her.

“Oh no you don’t” he screams. Surprisingly he sounds like he has calmed down despite his yell. When you turn you see he has finally settled down in a chair beside Gamzee, far from Sollux who is still messing with various wires. “The kid is staying here where I can keep an eye on him, that and I would like to limit the amount of contact the others have with you know, humans.” 

“Is there uh… something wrong with um… humans?” you ask shyly. Karkat stares at you for a moment before sighing.

“Other than being a pain in the ass, humans are too tempting. It’s like putting a hungry troll in front of a table of sweats; sometimes we just can’t help ourselves. That and your kind are just really fucking annoying. I mean Jesus fuck are you a stupid race, it’s honestly a goddamn insult to know we were all at one point like you.” Karkat looks like he wants to go on but you interrupt. 

“Wait what do you mean?”

He looks at you like you are an idiot. “Are you fucking stupid or something?” Karkat continues to rant while Terezi leads you to an available seat and sits you down. She takes the spot one cushion over. “So you really don’t know huh? Well I can explain it to you if you want, I mean it would be a huge shitty experience for everyone involved but what the hell this whole thing is a shitty experience.” You do not respond and make a motion for him to continue. He sighs “You know everyone is made up of memories right? I don’t know how much those idiots told you so I am going to start from the beginning.”

“Oh god” Sollux complains

“SHUT THE FUCK UP WHO ASKED YOU!?” taking a deep breath he goes on. “So when a person first arrives here they are a bundle of souls that could belong to any of hundreds of people. Some people are lucky and find more of them before they get too confused to even know who they are. Others are not so lucky, what happens to them is they gain a craving for souls, any soul, it doesn’t even have to belong to them because they just feel empty inside. Eventually they get so confused and mixed up they start to physically change.”

Terezi speaks up this time. “We have grey skin because we have so many different memories telling us we have so many different skin tones that they all try to express themselves at once, so we end up a lighter shade of ash, sometimes darker charcoal the more mixed up we get. It’s a very delicious color.”

“Thanks Terezi if I need help explaining again I will be sure to call on you again” Karkat grumbles obviously holding back rage. “ANYWAY as I was saying before, we physically change, our hair is black for much of the same reason and our eyes are the same basic thing. The more mixed up we get the longer our horns grow and the darker our skin gets, the more our eyes glow in the dark etcetera. When enough time as passed these people reach the point of no return where the mixed up souls inside them literally become a whole new person. Only not a human, I’m not sure where the term ‘troll’ came from, but it sort of fits.”

“Our blood iith altho a diifferent color” Sollux chimes in.

Karkat looks uncomfortable at the mention of blood colors for some reason but you do not dwell on it; you are too busy trying to make sense of everything they just told you. 

“Yup” Terezi adds “Don’t really know why that is either, it just is. Mines teal wanna taste?”

You pale, and she laughs while you mutter a no thank you. She apparently thinks it is funny as hell because she keeps on laughing. 

You would check the time but you find there isn’t a single clock around. In fact you have not seen one at all since you got here. That seems odd to you, for some reason. 

Karkat is sighing, glancing at Terezi he rolls his eyes “Rez go get some work done would you? Faster we get this shit done the fast we get to break off communication with idiots, at least until idiots have another fucking problem.”

Terezi stands up and dose a faulty salute; you cannot help but think she faced the wrong direction on purpose. “Oh sure thing all mighty leader, I’ll get right on it leader, you always know best leader” she smirks at you and walks away, karkat muttering something incoherent mostly to himself.

And that is pretty much how you spend your entire day. 

Joy, don’t you just love your life?

When you do finally find yourself at home you find a message waiting for you before you even get your shoes off. Dave and Jade are likely asleep by now so you cannot think of who it could be.

ArsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

AC: :33 < *ac sn33ks up on her unsuspecting new friend*   
AC: :33 < *ac hopes the human is as much fun as Karkitty made him s33m*

You stare at your phone screen and blink at it a few times. You do not know who this is and really you do not know what to think. Finally you work up the courage to respond. 

EB: um excuse me?   
AC: :33 < *ac pounces on the John human*   
EB: um *admits defeat in the face of powerful pounces?*   
AC: :33 < *ac will remember this purrfect victory for many y33rs to come.*   
EB: Roleplaying aside, who are you?   
AC: :33 < *ac will stop roleplaying for a moment so she can introduce herself*   
AC: :33 < *then ac will demand more roleplaying from the John human*   
EB: um… okay? *John accepts?*   
AC: :33 < Hi! My name is Nepeta!   
AC: :33 < Karkitty gave us all strict orders not to talk to any of you but I found it pawssibly irresistible!   
AC: :33 < Humans are fun   
AC: :33 < The Jade human roleplays with me all the time!   
AC: :33 < will you roleplay with me John?   
AC: :33 < pretty pl33se?   
AC : :33 < *ac uses her secret technique, the cute kitty eyes she has practiced for y33rs :3*   
EB: um sure… you are one of the trolls right?   
AC: :33 < Yup!   
AC: :33 < *ac tackle hugs her new friend*   
EB *John is happy to have made a new friend*   
AC: :33 < *ac agr33s with John but thinks if he wants to k33p roleplaying with her, he n33ds a cool roleplayer name!*   
EB: *John agrees to think about it*

Just as you are about to close the chat another chat window pops up. Once again you do not know the address but you decide to open it anyway. What could you say, curiosity killed the cat. (No pun intended :33)

CentaursTesticle [CT] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

CT: D --> Excuse me, but you need to cease your communication with Nepeta at once  
CT: D --> That is all  
EB: What the hell? 

Moments later Nepeta messages you again so you switch back to that chat window. 

ArsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

AC: :33 < *ac apologizes for her annoying moirail.*   
AC: :33 < * John is welcome to talk to her anytime!*   
AC: :33 < *ac also wants to know if John has thought up any names yet?*   
EB: Not yet! I’ll let you know when I come up with something   
EB: I mean   
EB: *John has not yet thought of a cool name to roleplay with but will let ac know when he does!*   
AC: :33 < *ac looks forward to it!*

Maybe you should talk to Jade about all this… Nepeta had mentioned talking to Jade before, then again you did not think telling the others you were talking to trolls is a good idea since they seemed to have strong feelings toward the grey skinned creatures.

At first you had been frightened by them, but now you think they are kind of fun, if not hard to understand.

Despite the fact that you were out all night, Rose only gives you a short nap period before she is urging you back to work. As you lift your head off the mass of pillows you had gathered in the… study? You suppose that’s a good word for it, Roses Study, or the room you had first met her in, your phone blinks to life.

The couches in here are really comfortable.

AdiosToreador [AT] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

AT: uM,,, iS THIS jOHN?  
EB: Um… yes?  
AT: oH HI MY NAME IS tAVROS,  
AT: gAMZEE SAID YOU WERE PRETTY COOL AND nEPETA TOLD ME YOU WERE ROLEPLAYING WITH HER,,,  
AT: sO i THOUGHT i WOULD INTODUCE MYSELF  
EB: Okay, hi my name is John!  
AT: yES i KNOW  
AT: nICE TO MEET YOU jOHN

AdiosToreador [AT] ceased pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

Just when you close the Chat Rose is calling for you, so you spring to your feet and go to help her. You are still exhausted and sleepy as hell but you think you can handle at least some work. Somehow you think this will help you get your mind off of everything.

At some point during the organizing your phone makes a noise, you ignore it at first but that’s rude and it could be Dave. You slip the device out of your pocket and find a message from a name you do not recognize.

ApocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

AA: Hell0  
EB: Are you another troll?  
AA: Yes, everyone was d0ing it  
AA: I th0ught I might as well j0in the party 0_0  
EB: Okay… so then whats your name?  
AA: Aradia Megid0  
EB: That’s a pretty name!  
AA: is it?  
EB: Yup! Well at least I think so  
AA: interesting 0_0  
EB: …  
AA: …  
EB: … … … … … … …  
AA: … … … … … … …  
EB: So…?  
AA: The c0nversati0n has gr0wn stale  
EB: Yeah  
AA: I will cease my c0mmunicati0n then  
AA: 0_0

ApocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

Why are the trolls so interested in talking to you?

-

Sometime later Rose allows you a break so you can head downstairs and get something to eat. It feels like forever since you had anything decent. (The trolls offered you something but nothing they had looked remotely edible) 

Taking a bite from the simple sandwich you made yourself, yet another message finds you. For one reason or another you answer this one as well.

CuttlefishCuller [CC] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

CC: Glub  
EB: What?  
CC: GLUB  
EB: More trolls?  
CC: Y--ES I’m F-EF-ERI  
EB: Feferi?  
CC: Y--ES  
EB: Okay Hi I’m John  
CC: O)( I know everyone is talking about you  
CC: W--ELL -EV-----ER------EYON----E B--ESID---E KARKAT  
EB: Really? Why?  
CC: We don’t get to meet )(umans very often  
CC: s;dvop[ler;fvc;  
CC: nxiopkslmsf;vp[  
EB: What?  
CC: wwhat do you think you are doin talkin to Fef in such a manner  
EB: um…  
CC: Dammit ---ERIDAN He is so GLUBBING annoying!  
EB: Feferi?  
CC: Sorry Jo)(n, --Eridan took my p)(one for a second  
CC: I S)(OULD probably go before he tries it again  
EB: Okay, see you later then  
CC: LAT--ER JO)(N

CuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

Wait a moment, who the hell is Eridan?

You do not even have a chance to breathe before yet ANOTHER chat window opens. For a while you consider just ignoring it, but again you think no that would be rude. You could at least Humor these trolls right?

CaligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

CA: i demand you stop talkin to fef at once glub  
CA: it is enough dealin with glubbin Sol  
CA: you are not even remotely important enough to speak with her  
EB: whatever I am so done with all of you trolls

EctoBiologist [EB] blocked CaligulasAquarium [CA]

It is not until you get yet ANOTHER message that you lose it. This time you are just about to go to sleep after such a long day when another troll decides to well troll you.

GrimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

GA: Good Evening  
EB: NO  
EB: nonononononononono  
EB: NO MORE  
GA: Pardon?  
EB: NO!  
EB: No talking!  
EB: I have had enough of talking to trolls for one day!  
GA: I’m Sorry  
EB: It’s okay  
GA: Would You Like To Talk About It?  
EB: No its just  
EB: Oh my god they won’t stop talking to me  
EB: I think I have talked to eleven trolls so far  
EB: Including you  
EB: Seven of them talked to me on pesterchum  
EB: THEY WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE  
GA: I Apologize. It Sounds Like Everyone Has Spoken To You Then.  
GA: There Are Only Eleven Of Us.  
EB: It’s alright; so far you are the most bearable  
EB: It’s actually nice talking to you  
GA: I’ll Take That As A Compliment  
GA: Anyway  
GA: I Merely Wished To Introduce Myself  
GA: Karkat Will Be Displeased If He Finds Out About This But It Cannot Hurt To Be Friendly When So Many Of Us Have Already Broken That Rule  
GA: Also  
GA: I Would Advise You Not To Tell Rose  
EB: Wait you know rose?  
GA: Yes In Fact We Speak Often About Various Intellectual Topics  
EB: Oh cool  
EB: Anyway I wasn’t going to  
EB: I figured she would be mad if I did  
GA: I Agree  
GA: I Think I Will End This Conversation Before Karkat Discovers This  
GA: It Was Wonderful Talking To You John  
EB: Same to you!

Despite the pleasantness of this conversation you toss your phone so that if anyone else tries to text you, you can ignore them. With that you burry your head into your pillow which still smells faintly like Dave. All you want is to sleep finally, finally some sleep. You close your eyes and prepare for dreamland at last. 

You go over all the new people you met today before you do.

Karkat; so far all you knew is that he is a short and angry troll. Terezi; a blind sarcastic troll, you do not know what to think of her. Sollux; has a lisp and wears odd glasses, he fights with Karkat a lot. Gamzee; you do not know much about him, just that he wears clown makeup. Nepeta; she likes to roleplay and seems very fun! Her Moirail; (whatever that means you do not know his name) protective of Nepeta you guess? Tavros; shy, that’s the impression he gave you but a good person. Aradia; sort of robotic but interesting none the less. Feferi; energetic, you do not know much else to say. Eridan (at least you assume that’s who it was) he seems protective of Feferi but she doesn’t seem to like him. (Oh you never got her name!) Definitely the easiest to talk to, she is polite and helpful. 

Still you are not looking forward to dealing with them again.

All you want is sleep; sweet beautiful sleep.

You decide you are never leaving this bed.

**John: Never leave this bed.**

-

The very next morning already Terezi had already brought more pieces of John then they have in the entire time they have been trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! If you are reading this you made it to the end of the chapter! Congratulations you earn a gold star  
> Gold*Star
> 
> Thank you for Reading I love you all
> 
> Also I still have not figured out the pesterchum coding hopefully I will get that down soon or eventually if I do at all.
> 
> \- Headphone Archeologist


	6. What has Sleep Ever Done for You Anyway?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week, it has been a whole week since you collapsed and met the trolls and started putting yourself back together, or rather you have Terezi doing that for you. Still something is bothering you, you are not sleeping and your friends still won't tell you how they get the memories you organize daily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I HATE THIS CHAPTER NOW! Okay not because it is bad, I like it in that regard but god dammit I had issues with the stupid code and had to delete the chapter and repost it!  
> Bluh
> 
> Well whatever, this issue aside I want to express a personal thank you to the readers who have commented, it really brightens my day to read their kind words, you guys will never really know how much you inspire me to keep writing! This chapter is dedicated to them!
> 
> Also, there is a part of this chapter that rapidly changes from John's Perspective to Dave's so do not get too confused.

It’s Dark and cold, you hurt all over and you do not know who you are. You thought you knew for a while but the names swirled and twisted in your mind until you screamed in pain and held your head tightly. As long as you do not think about it, it does not hurt, but thinking is all you really do.

Then those things attacked you. 

You do not know what they were, when you saw them they were black and stuck low to the ground, they crawled on all fours with sunken eyes and pointed white teeth. Those eyes were black with only a small white pupil to give any sign that an eye was there at all. The moment the pack of them had seen you, they had attacked you. Your arm hurts like hell because of it. You cannot even move your fingers anymore; you do not know how bad it is because you refuse to even so much as look.

Also, you cannot see out of one of your eyes. 

What is happening to you? You hurt all over, you don’t know who you are. You tried to remember but the names whirled inside your head until you hunched over and screamed in pain. 

You are paler than you remember, your skin is a sickly grey color and to be honest it is frightening. Your hair that was once streaked several colors has faded to a dark black. You sometimes remember it being red, sometimes blond or brown, your memory is not consistent so you are positive they are not all yours. 

In some places your hair is patchy from your attempts to pull the darkening strands out of your scalp.

You have no idea what to do; you have no idea who you are. It hurts, everything hurts and it is scaring you like nothing has ever scared you before in your life.

The whites of your eyes are turning yellow now; your irises have changed to a dark cerulean. In one of your eyes you don’t have just one pupil. What frightens you even more is the same color is dripping from the wounds on your arm. Oh god you are so scared. You are so fucking scared and you do not know what to do about any of this.

You feel like you might die. No, no, no, no, nononononononononoNONONONONONOOOOOOOO! Someone needs to help you, you need help, someone help you god someone help you.

You don’t know who you are, you only know it hurts, everything hurts and you are turning into a ghost.

And this is how he finds you. He finds you pathetically crying out into the darkness, holding a wounded arm, completely unaware of what your own name is or who you are. He finds you and takes pity on you or something, because he grabs you by the shoulders and lifts you up, starring you in the face. 

His eyes are yellow, teeth sharp like your own; his hair is matted and black. His skin is grey. He smiles slowly at you and asks “Hey Fuckass you wanna live?” 

Pathetically you nod and he releases you. You follow him like a lost dog, a hopeless kicked animal. 

As it turns out there are others like you.

Lots of them, eleven in total he tells you. They feed you and clothe you; they even have someone look at your arm.

Which is also when they rip it off of you.

It doesn’t hurt as much as you would think, after the first few seconds you cannot feel anything actually. Of course for those first few seconds you experience the most excruciating pain you have ever felt. It was white hot and blinding, speckled in red burns that throb in your veins until you cannot even tell what hurts because everything hurts. 

You let yourself fall into the bliss of numbness. 

The sight of the whole procedure is rather grotesque so you just close your eyes and laugh; laugh at your own blue blood, at the tears falling down your face from a pain you can no longer feel. You just laugh, laugh. They might think you are crazy and maybe you are. 

You think they are frightened of you because they do not seem to want anything to do with you afterward. 

Although it did not hurt, it is hard to get used to, not having an arm where there used to be one. All you have left is a bloodied nub, wrapped and wrapped in off white cloth. 

That’s when the difficult part comes. He tries to tell you what you are; tells you that you are not human. This does not make sense to you because you know you are human, you feel human. He proves you wrong though, grabbing a fist full of your dark black hair and pulling the strands lose, revealing the beginning of orange yellow horns you refused to admit you had. 

After seeing it, it is hard to ignore and the pain comes back.

 

-

You are violent toward them; you are hatful, spiteful, cruel and pointlessly hostile. For the next few days you do nothing but make them work for even the smallest bit of cooperation from you. You smirk at them and laugh, laugh because you do not know what else to do. You keep on doing this until your horns have grown long and your teeth have sharpened. 

There is not much escaping it, you are one of these creatures now.

No, you are better than them.

Finally he comes in to talk to you and while you have decided to work with them you are far from the cooperative type. Rather than do the smart thing and just listen to the guy who was obviously trying to help you, you choose to do things your way and you fight with him. You growl through your teeth and scratch at his face which he firmly avoids. At first he seems a bit amused but then the agitated expression comes back, the sort of look you would get from someone above you who is fed up with insubordination. In retaliation you are struck hard across the face.

By the time the pointless fight is over you are blue and bloody and he has not even a single wound that would draw blood despite your sharp nails and teeth.

He asks you for your name, this must be the fifteenth time he has asked.

You smile through a split lip and blood dripping down your chin. You want to lap it up. Instead you just reply with “Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Aranea Serket but you can call me Vriska.”

And you laugh; a laugh so chilling even you can feel a shiver crawl up your spine. He just smiles at you so you laugh harder.

…

All that happened a week ago.

It has been a whole week since you wormed your way into the lives of these trolls, you guess you are technically one of them now but you do not think much of it. Already you seem to have a bad reputation because none of the trolls will give you the time of day. They will not talk to you and all you can think is good, you do not want to talk to them anyway.

Deep down however you are lonely.

No! No fuck that, you are not lonely and you do not give a shit that they won’t talk to you. You like being alone.

You like being alone, you like being alone, you like being alone, alone is all you have, you like to be alone, alone is yours, alone is all you know, you like being alone, you like being alone, you like being alone, you like being alone, how long do you need to say it before you start to believe it? You like being alone, you like being alone, you like being alone, you like being alone, you like being alone…. You… like… being… alone…

Alonealonealonealonealonealonealonealonealonealonealonealonealonealonealonealone

-

Be Someone less Depressing  
It’s been a week since it happened, a week since John collapsed and only a few days longer since you even met the dork.

So why do you feel so defensive about this?

Ugh, you are so losing your cool right now. Why is that happening again? 

Oh yeah, because your fucking half-sister decided it would be super awesome to get the trolls to do your job for you to save your best friend. She thought you didn’t know but seriously how naïve does she think you are? You would have to be a dense as fucking led not to get the fact that Rose had the fucking trolls on her leash. Seriously, if she thought you were that stupid you would be sinking to the bottom of the deep end, drowning because you are dense as fuck until the hot lifeguard comes and saves you.

You lost control of that metaphor real fast.

You are Dave now by the way. You are also pissed.

In addition you are also fed up, you may not know why you are so protective of the Egderp but fuck it you are and you do not want it to be the trolls that save his life. Sure you are glad he feels better, that he is no longer in danger of killing over on you but god fucking dammit you do not want John of all people to be in debt to the trolls of all non-people. 

Fuck is this confusing and annoying. 

It is for this very confusing and obnoxious reason that you find yourself on their self-claimed part of town. 

For lack of a better term it is… shittier than your side. 

You have a plan of course; part one involves skipping work (Rose and Jade will likely have your head for this later) and tracking down a certain troll who seems determined to hate your guts. You warned him that if he did not stay away from John you would kill him.

He didn’t listen and this is what happens.

-

A week, it has been a whole week since you collapsed and met the trolls, it has been a week and already you are feeling more put together than ever! You will have to thank Terezi later; really that girl’s nose is amazing if she can find this much of you in such a short time!

As payment for this of course you have to work twice as hard and give up two soul bits that do not belong to you for every one you receive.

Since the day you met them, the trolls have been keeping in touch with you, you do not tell Rose about this nor do you tell Dave or Jade even if they are your best friends. Karkat does not seem to like Dave or Jade and while he insists he knows nothing about the others talking to you, he says that you should not tell anyone about your communication. With “just him” of course, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. 

So anyway, you have still been talking to the trolls.

They are not so bad really; at least they aren’t when they are not trying to talk to you all at once. You like Nepeta and Kanaya the best so far, they are both very nice if not just a little bit weird. Speaking of talking to trolls…

You are pestering one of them right now.

Nepeta has been nagging you about roleplaying so you have spent the last week coming up with a name. You think you have one finally, you just hope it is good. 

EctoBiologist [EB] began pestering ArsenicCatnip [AC]

EB: Nepeta I think I may have finally found a good name to roelplay with!  
AC: :33 < *ac looks at John and waits for him to continue*  
EB: Okay how about  
EB: GhostlyTrickster?  
AC: :33 < *ac wants to see Johns new name in action before she decides if she likes it or not*  
EB: Oh okay um  
EB: *gt waits patiently while his cat friend decides whether or not his name is acceptable.*  
EB: *without the approval of the roleplay queen gt will never be able to become a great roleplayer*  
AC: :33 < *ac thinks the name is purrfect for John.*  
AC: :33 < *ac gladly accepts her new friend gt by giving him a traditional tackle hug*  
EB: *gt accepts his new cat friends hug and hopes they will go on adventures together in the future!*

You hit send on your phone and find yourself lying back on your, well, Dave’s bed. You want to close your eyes and go to sleep but to be honest you are scared.

You are scared to go to sleep because you have been having nightmares. Terrible, vivid dreams that are so awful you cannot even remember them in the morning; you only ever have this vague sense of dread and fear every time you open your eyes.

Dave and Jade have not gotten back yet and you apparently cannot work all day, so you have nothing better to do than memorize the cracks in the ceiling again. Oh joy, what fun, really best day of your life.

You do know what sarcasm is right? Good because you are definitely NOT having a good time right now.

That does bring you to another important point however, something else that has been bothering you. You still have no idea what exactly your friends do to get the memories that you organize daily.

Also, you have never actually seen Jade or Dave after coming back, at least not immediately. You never EVER see Dave or jade right when they walk through the door. Dave is like a damn Ninja and Jade is fucking Black Ops, for real, you never even hear them get back. They have taken a liking to scaring you silly whenever they return because YOU NEVER EVER EVEN HEAR THEM OPEN THE DOOR, SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK.

What do they get up to out there? What is so bad that it is worth hiding?

You start to think of Dave and wonder just when he is going to show up through the door and scare the ever living shit out of you. 

Slowly your eyes close with his name ghosting your lips, unspoken and thoughtful. Really Dave, what is he doing out there right now? Why does he hide this from you? Why can’t you stop thinking about it?

-

Oh where does one find a parasite? Usually up someone’s ass in their lower intestine but no that is not the kind of parasite you are talking about.

Because ew, that would be gross. Still, to you Karkat is no better than a leech or butt-worm, so really what is the difference in your mind? 

It is actually not hard to find him really; you just have to find the worst scum bucket of a filthy deserted ally and bam you find him. (You may or may not have actually used the locator app on your phone but really who cares, either way you found him. Do the trolls even know you can track them like that? They probably do because they were the ones who MADE these phones for you in the first place and wow is that a long parenthesis seriously it is like its own paragraph) 

Thus you find yourself at the mouth of an abandoned alley, abandoned save two figures. One of them has to be Karkat, really no one could be that short but him, the other you do not know, nor do you care. Like the stealthy little ninja that you are (you thank growing up with Bro for that) you approach them without alerting either. 

Only when you make your presence known do they notice you.

“Sup”

The reactions are instant; one turns and glares a look that could kill the weak of heart, almost a hint of amusement amidst the annoyance. The other jumps and scrambles away like his ass was one fire, or he just got caught with his hands in the cookie jar. 

It isn’t that hard to tell which was which right?

“Strider what the ever living fuck are you doing out here? Beside scaring away my clientele, seriously, people are already nervous as fuck being outside at night and you just have to make it worse by sneaking up on me like that. Stupid Fuckass you ruined what was probably going to be a good deal!” 

Patiently you wait for him to rant his little angry head off while you slip your phone out of your pocket and type up a message.

TurnTechGodHead [TG] began pestering CarcinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: Calm your shit Vantas  
TG: Really do I look like I give a damn?  
TG: If anything I did that guy a favor  
TG: Honestly you guys just use people until there is nothing left  
TG: Just take, take and take until a person has nothing left and you leave them there like that.

Karkat looks up from the screen of his own phone before smirking in your general direction. “Oh and what you do is so much better? At least I leave them alive.”

Angrily you type a comeback. No not angrily because you are cool as fuck.

TG: Not directly no  
TG: You’re like fucking poison  
TG: Slowly draining the life out of everyone  
TG: Maybe you don’t actually pull the trigger  
TG: But you gave them the gun  
TG: Planned it all out  
TG: It’s like pushing a guy out of a boat and then saying ‘oh I didn’t kill him it was an act of nature!’  
TG: Act of nature my ass  
TG: No you know what I have a better metaphor  
CG: God please no  
TG: You all are like fucking vampires  
TG: Yes Vantas you are the short angry version of Edward Cullen

Karkat’s brows furrow together as he processes what you wrote and types a reply.

CG: who?  
TG: You don’t know?  
TG: Twilight?  
CG: …  
TG: Nevermind, consider yourself lucky you do not remember that piece of shit.  
TG: The point is, you are worse than a killer because you leave people worse than dead  
TG: You take everything from them

The troll just shrugs and shifts his weight, he actually looks nervous and you are glad. “What do you want Strider?” he asks at last.

TG: I told you what would happen Vantas  
TG: I told you to stay away from John

When he looks up from his phone screen you are standing a foot away from him, towering over the smaller figure. “You didn’t listen” you shiver yourself from the cold bite of your own voice.

 

-

You bolt upright, desperately gasping for air, you remember everything for a brief moment but then it is gone and your heart is beating so fast you think it may burst from your rib cage. You slowly lie back down and try to regain your normal breathing.

You cannot remember the nightmare, you never do.

Slowly you close your eyes, not planning on going back to bed, just to clear your head as you slowly remember how to breathe. In, out, in, out, just take it one breath at a time.

-

Karkat is so small you can easily lift his light frame and slam him against the brick wall beside you, he hisses from the pain and grabs your wrists which are holding his shoulders. His nails bite into your flesh but you hardly even notice, focusing instead on applying just the right amount of pressure on his neck to cut off air flow but not to kill him. 

-

What is taking Jade and Dave so long to get back? It isn’t like them to be this late! 

-

Karkat gasps and claws at your wrists, eventually he finds you are not going to give so he goes for your face instead. One finger catches the rim of your glasses and they fly off your face. 

Red eyes meet red eyes.

You feel exposed without your shades but you don’t reach down to pick them up. Instead you slam Vantas harder against the brick and he lets out a choked gasp, when his face starts to turn paler than it already is and you are sure he is going to suffocate if you don’t let up, you let him go.

To be honest he isn’t worth the effort of killing. No matter how satisfying or how many people it would inevitably help you do not want it on your conscious. “Stay away from him” you growl as Karkat gasps for breath. 

As you are walking away he says something that makes you see red (no pun intended.)

“Jealous Strider?”

You turn to face him with fire in your red eyes. Slowly you lean down to grab your sunglasses and replace them on your face so your emotions will not be on display for the fucking troll. You are overcome with the desire to yell, to scream until your lungs hurt but like a chill motherfucker you pull out your phone and text him.

TG: It’s not like that

He grins at you, slow and catlike. “Yeah of fucking course it isn’t.” after a pause he adds; “I’m not going to let up though, this job is paying well no matter how much I fucking hate you and your kind.” 

TG: Then I guess I will have to put the dork back together before you guys can

-

You have been sitting on the edge of Dave’s bed for the past half hour just staring at the door waiting for the head of blond hair to enter and demand his bed. Fuck you are just lonely without them around, especially when you have nothing to do with yourself. Eventually you sigh and decide sitting here and doing nothing is something you are going to stop doing.

Slowly and sleepily you drag yourself up and out the door only to spot another patch of blond hair, someone you were not expecting. “Sup” he says from his place on the couch. You can see the resemblance easily, the same blond hair although Dirk’s is a bit darker and styled differently. Then there were the shades, those pointy anime shades are so different from Dave’s. 

Still there was no denying it. This was Dave’s brother Dirk. 

“Hi” you say back after an uncomfortable and long silence, you think he took notice because he starts fidgeting a little, tapping his fingers on the armrest. “Where’s Jake?”

Dirk just shrugs at your question. “I dunno, I don’t watch him twenty four seven.”

Deciding Dirk isn’t going to stab you through the chest suddenly; you settle in the chair nearby and let the silence grow long and awkward again.

Well, this is not much better than being in Dave’s room now is it?

…

It’s been about fifteen minutes and the silence just gets more and more awkward as time goes on. He is tapping an unknown tune on the armrest and occasionally one foot will tap in time or he will reach up to adjust his sunglasses. 

You want to open your mouth and talk, maybe get to know the elder Strider, but you have no idea what to say. What could you do? ‘Oh hello there Dirk lovely weather we are having isn’t it?’ no that would so not work.

Especially not here; here where you have yet to see the weather change.

Suddenly Dirk looks up and you think he is going to talk but he quickly looks back down again. A few more seconds later you feel a hand on your shoulder and you shriek in the manliest way possible and nearly jump out of your skin. You tumble out of the chair and end up sprawled on the floor. You hear snickering as you roll over and see Dave Standing behind the chair you fell out of.

He holds up his hands as if to show he is not threatening, there is a hardly visible smirk on his face. Distantly you hear Dirk mutter something along the line of “fucking finally” before leaving. The gentle click of his door leaves you alone with Dave.

“You’re late” you blurt before you could stop yourself. You sound like a concerned housewife, or mother or something and you are definitely a man!

That scream of yours seems to think otherwise.

Shut up you are so not a woman, you could drop your pants and prove this to yourself if Dave was not standing right in front of you and if that wasn’t stupid as hell.

Dave Shrugs and offers you a hand which you gladly take so he can haul you to your feet. You both stare at each other for a moment before he shifts his weight and turns away from you, giving a two finger wave “later” he says, hardly audible. 

You wait until his door has clicked shut before moving, slowly heading downstairs. You suppose if Dave is back that means it is an okay time for you to ‘wake up’ as if you hadn’t been for the past few hours. 

Besides you are hungry, that’s a good excuse to be awake too. Slowly you head downstairs and into the kitchen were you see Roxy passed out and snoring loudly on the table, Rose is bustling around as well, and it looks like she is cleaning up dishes?

Upon seeing you Rose smiles sweetly and hands you a plate of something, honestly you do not care you are just hungry. You take the seat furthest from Roxy and start shoveling food into your mouth while your other hand texts. 

You’re a teenager (you think) so you have the unique ability to text while doing pretty much anything.

EctoBiologist [EB] began pestering GardenGnostic [GG]

EB: Hey Jade are you awake?

It takes her a while to reply.

GG: well I am now  
GG: Whats up?

You wince because you had not been meaning to wake her, but text back none the less. 

EB: Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up!  
GG: It’s fine John!  
GG: really don’t worry about it  
EB: okay…  
EB: still im sorry  
GG: John!  
EB: Okay, okay im done  
EB: since you are awake though  
EB: do you think I could come up and talk for a little while?  
EB: I hardly get to see you guys because you are always so busy!  
GG: Sure thing

Smiling lightly you finish eating, thank Rose and head back upstairs. You are about to open Jade’s door when you realize entering someone’s room without knocking is rude, especially if they are a girl. Who knows what strange girl thing you could accidently walk into?

You lift a hand and knock gently on the wood. From inside you hear Jade say something that sounds like come in, so you open the door.

You will never get over how many stuffed animals she managed to fit into this one little room.

Jade is sitting up among the sheets and her hair is even more a mess than yours is, it sticks up all over the place and is tangled to hell. She yawns and stretched her arms over her head before patting the empty space on her bed.

You sit down and notice her glasses are skewed so you fix them for her; Jade giggles and smiles, giving a quick thank you. “So john, what’s up?” she asks, bringing her knees up so she can hug her legs close to her chest.

You shrug, adjusting so your back is against the headboard of Jade’s bed. “The usual? It’s not like there is anything better to do in the world beside sit here and help Rose with bottles all day.”

Jade laughs “oh John remind me one of these days, trust me there is a lot of fun stuff to do here!”

To say you are skeptical is an understatement. “Sure, so what have you been up to?” you ask, wondering if she will actually tell you what they do all day out in the dark. 

“Usual” is all she says.

Damn, when are these guys going to tell you what they do to get these memories?

Oh well.

“Hey John are you still having nightmares?” 

You pause and slowly nod. You don’t really want to tell anyone because you know they will worry but Jade already knows so… well, maybe you just want someone to talk to about it.

“Want to talk about it?” she asks as if reading your thoughts.

You do.

-

TentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering CarcinoGeneticist [CG]

TT: I am sorry  
CG: Damn straight, learn to keep your people in line!  
CG: Fucking humans, Jesus do you ever do anything besides fuck up?  
TT: you make it sound like I have control over the things my half-brother does.  
CG: you should Lalonde  
CG: Fuck why else would you be their leader if you can’t even control one blond douchebag  
CG: fucking humans  
TT: you are free to back off this deal at any time

He doesn’t respond for a while. 

CG: Fuck you Lalonde

CarcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering TenticleTherapist [TT]

You are Rose Lalonde and this is starting to get on your nerves. Although you must say you are indeed proud of your half-brother, he always did have the desire to protect his friends so you suppose his actions make sense. 

Still you find the relationship between him and John a miracle at the least. It took Dave a long time to warm up to anyone but he let John waltz into his life without as much as a fight. Odd you thought, Dave always seemed so protected, hiding behind bright red words that matched his eyes which you hardly ever saw. 

What made John so special?

Sighing you message the boy in question.

TentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

TT: might I inquire as to your current location?  
TT: …  
TT: John?

Strange he usually answers you… Slowly you make your way upstairs because that was the last place you saw him go.

Seeing no sign of him you check Dave’s room silently to avoid waking him. For all his reflexes he can be a heavy sleeper so you don’t worry too much. His breathing is silent and he looks peaceful in his sleep, not like he looks normally, strained behind his poker face.

Slowly you creep inside and tug the blankets further around him and gently brush his bangs out of his face. For a moment you forget why you are up here. 

You exit his room and decide to check on Jade, it is the only over place you can imagine him being since Dirk and Jade do not seem to have taken a liking to John, at least not in the same way Dave and Jade have. 

When you open the door you see Jade sleeping soundly against John who is resting his head on the top of her head, his glasses are slipping down his nose and he is actually snoring lightly. You notice how similar they look and if you did not know any better you would say they were siblings. They both have black untamable hair and the slight overbite. 

If they are indeed related prescription lenses seem to run in the family. 

You sigh, not having the heart to wake him, not yet anyway.

Instead you give Jade much the same treatment as Dave, removing her glasses and folding them on the nightstand. Trying not to wake her, you ease her down so she isn’t leaning on John anymore and is instead with her head on the pillows, this of course wakes the other head of raven hair.

“Hm… Rose?” he asks, voice still heavy with sleep.

“Sh” you respond, hushing him as you tug the blankets over Jade. She might be older than you by a year but you always felt the same motherly instinct that has you taking care of Dave. She acts too much like a kid for you to see her otherwise, not that it is a bad thing, you find her attitude quite endearing. 

John flushes and rubs the back of his neck in what appears to be a nervous gesture, that or from sleeping in an awkward position.

Interesting

You make a motion with you hand and leave the room, John following suit. He yawns while trying to say something so it comes out garbled and unintelligible. You think you catch what sounds like ‘good morning’ or maybe ‘whats up?’

Rather than try and clarify what he may or may not have said you smile and ask him smoothly “Good morning John, how are you?”

He smiles sweetly “I’m fine! How are you?” 

“Just fine John thank you.” You pause before adding; “ready to get to work?”

John rolls his shoulders and stretched his arms over his head before his smile grows brighter. “Sure” he says, a certain excitement clinging to his voice that you notice never leaves.

Interesting.

-

You watch John all the while he works, something seems different about him today and you cannot figure out exactly what it is. 

He does not seem to notice your gaze as you know when to look away and pretend your time is invested in scribbling labels on these bottles. When he looks away again you decide to ask him outright; “John are you alright?”

This catches him off guard because he pauses and then tries to laugh it off. He is such a terrible liar. “Yeah of course!”

“Really” you continue, pushing for a straight answer “you seem different somehow.”

“Really?”

You nod thoughtfully, making a list in your head of all the things that could be wrong. “Have your headaches returned?” you ask. He shakes his head, if what he has been telling oyu is true he has not had a headache in over five days. 

You go to the next item on your list. “What about your memories? Have you uncovered anything… troubling?”

John glances at you a shrugs. “Just more of my childhood really, small moments with me and my dad, I still cannot remember what he looks like…” at this John frowns and you move on to the next item on the list. 

If it was nothing to do with his memories perhaps he was having troubles with a person? “Have you been getting along with everyone?” you inquire. 

“Of course” he says almost sounding insulted “I mean I don’t talk to Dirk or Jake much, the only times I see Roxy are when she is drunk off her ass and Dave and Jade are almost always gone but I get along with everyone just fine” 

You make a mental note and continue to metaphorically cross notions off your list in your head. You contemplate asking him the next question on the tip of your tongue and decide to go for it. “Are you perhaps romantically interested in anyone?”

“What?” he says eloquently, sounding confused by either your wording or the question in whole; you ignore this and plow on.

“Is it Dave?” you ask almost playfully, but still it is a serious question. 

John flushes and turns to you, nearly dropping everything he is holding while he stammers out a reply. “W-w-w-what!? No! Rose I’m not a homosexual!” he says, obviously flustered, you take note of this. By some miracle he managed to avoid dropping anything. 

“Hm…perhaps Jade then?” you know that is utter bullshit but it was so much fun to see John flustered.

“No!” he says forcibly “She’s like a little sister to me Rose, ew.”

You laugh and he rolls his eyes at you before going back to work. A comfortable silence settles around the two of you before you deicide it is enough with the teasing. “Are you sleeping alright John? Eating enough? I’m only concerned for your health you know that right?”

John nods but otherwise says nothing. No more words are passed between you but John hums along with his work, almost as if he is trying to distract himself, or put up a barrier between him and conversation.

Damn.

-

It is dark again, or rather it is early morning, Dave and Jade had not yet returned so as per usual you just lay in your bed, waiting for something to happen. Eventually you got bored and pulled out your phone. You have a message from Nepeta waiting so you open it with haste.

ArsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB] 

AC: :33 < *ac is curious if John wishes to roleplay?

You tap your fingers against your thigh thinking about it, not like you had anything better to do right?

EB: Sure!  
EB: *gt accepts the offer to roleplay*

You take a moment to get into character while Nepeta types a reply.

AC: :33 < *ac slowly enters the layer of the powerful trickster*  
AC: :33 < *she is sure to avoid all of the obvious pranks he has left for her*  
EB: *gt is disappointed and impressed that ac has avoided all his traps*  
EB: *his pranks are the best in the world but apparently not enough for a sly cat*  
EB: *gt is confident the last pranks he has waiting for her will succeed!*  
AC: :33 < *moving cautiously ac avoids the last of the traps on light kitty paws*  
AC: :33 < *or so she thinks??*

You smile despite yourself; she is totally giving you an invitation. You take it and type a reply. 

EB: *ac thinks she avoided all the traps but gt has one left for her!*  
EB: *gt laughs as a pail of water falls to drench ac!*

You almost made the grave mistake of typing bucket but caught yourself half way through. For some reason the trolls always seemed to flip out over the term ‘bucket’ and so far they have not been able to offer an explanation other than that they just do not like it. You usually use words like ‘pail’ or ‘washtub’ around them to avoid flip outs.

AC: :33 < *ac meow’s loudly in surprise as she is drenched in water!*  
AC: :33 < *ac desperately tries to dry her fur*  
AC: :33 < *gt has found her one weakness! Pails of Water! :3*  
EB: *gt laughs in triumph telling ac that he will allow ac to leave without pranking her anymore*  
AC: :33 < *ac swears that one day she will make it past the tricksters pranks!*  
EB: *gt looks forward to seeing ac again*  
EB: *she is the only adversary that can dodge even one of his pranks!*

Nepeta takes a few moments to reply back. 

AC: *ac thanks John for roleplaying with her*

You know the game is over when she uses your real name and while you are a bit disappointed (you were really getting into it. What could you say?) you quickly type a reply.

EB: No problem Nepeta!  
EB: Thank you for staying up with me so late  
AC: :33 < *ac is curious about that*  
AC: :33 < *although her curiosity will not end with her being a black cat!*  
AC: :33 < *ac wants to know if John is sleeping alright?*  
EB: Oh I’m fine don’t worry  
AC: :33 < *ac wants to question John further however she must go*  
EB: Bye nepeta!  
AC: :33 < *ac waves and flicks her tail as she departs*

ArsenicCatnip [AC] ceased pestering EctoBiologist [EB] 

You drop your phone on the bed beside you and sigh. Why are all your friends able to see through you?

Be Jade and get pestered.  
The night air is cold around you but you do not mind, right now you are waiting for a text from Dave to tell you were his latest victim is. When your phone dings the message you get is not one you would expect.

AresenicCatnip [AC] began pestering GardenGnostic [GG]

AC: :33 < *ac bravely ventures into the garden of her friend in hopes of starting a conversation*  
AC: :33 < *she hopes this is not a bad time?*  
GG: Hi Nepeta do you want to roleplay?  
GG: Because I am kind of busy right now…  
AC: :33 < *ac is aware of her friends schedule*  
AC: :33 < *ac wants to ask Jade for advice*  
GG: Is it about Karkat?

Nepeta does not reply right away and you think you have gotten it right, on several occasions Nepeta has asked you for advice about Karkat, troll romances were confusing to you and pretty much everyone but you did your best to advise her well! So far, at least as far as you know, she has made no progress on her little crush. 

AC: :33 < *ac shakes her head*

Oh, then what is this about?

GG: Alright what can I help you with?  
AC: :33 < *ac is worried about someone*  
AC: :33 < *ac wants to know how to help someone who won’t ask for it*  
GG: That a tough one!  
GG: hm…  
GG: well I would confront them about it!  
GG: I would ask them what was wrong until they caved and told me  
AC: :33 < *ac will return in a moment*

True to her word, Nepeta does not reply back, at least not for a few minutes. You wonder who it is she is talking about, she did seem really worried about them, and you hope it isn’t too serious.

Finally she messages back.

AC: :33 < *ac was blocked*  
GG: what?  
GG: you mean on pesterchum?  
AC: :33 < *ac nods*  
GG: Im sorry!  
GG: apparently Im not that good at giving advice…  
AC: :33 < *ac thinks it is alright, Jade is good at giving advice!*  
GG: Thanks nepeta…  
AC: :33 < *ac is going to find another way to solve this*  
GG: okay  
GG: Good luck!

ArsenicCatnip [AC] ceased pestering GardenGnostic [GG]

Who could Nepeta be worried about? Is one of the other trolls in trouble? You cannot think of anyone else she could be talking about because other than you she doesn’t talk to humans, well at least you don’t think she does. Or does she? What if she is talkin about one of your friends?

Your thoughts are interrupted when you are pestered, by Dave this time. Time to set off you guess.

 

**Bonus Pesterlog!**

 

ArsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

AC: :33 < *ac demands that John tell her what is wrong!*  
EB: what?  
AC: :33 < *ac demands an explanation to why John is up so late!*  
AC: :33 < *tell ac!*  
AC: :33 < Tell me  
AC: :33 < Tell me  
AC: :33 < Tell me  
AC: :33 < Tell me  
AC: :33 < Tell me  
AC: :33 < Tell me  
AC: :33 < Tell me  
AC: :33 < Tell me  
AC: :33 < tell  
EB: What the hell Nepeta?  
AC: :33 < me  
EB: Nepeta I am fine really!  
AC: :33 < TELL ME JOHN!

EctoBiologist [EB] blocked ArsenicCatnip [AC]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Reading to the end!
> 
> As always I encourage comments, what you liked, didn't like, or just say hi! I don't bite normally and even then it's not that hard geez.  
> -Headphone Archeologist


	7. Love at First Sight is Too Mainstream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade is off her game and Dave notices, but that's not the only thing hes noticing. Roxy has important news about a member of their team they have not seen in some time, prepare to enter Jane.
> 
> Meanwhile in the troll side of Town, Vriska tries to worm her way into the business and gets into some trouble but to be fair it was totally Kanaya's fault; her one and only kismesis; read the title, Love is too mainstream this is down right hate.  
> Cue a heavy make-out scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is chapters like this that I am glad I gave this work a high rating, maybe it's not as bad as some of the blatant porn I have seen but yeah, children should not be reading this. Just a warning, there is some Kanaya on Vriska action here so if violent lesbian make-outs make you uncomfortable, I would back out slowly. 
> 
> This scene wasn't actually relevant to the pot I just... dear god my hands do what they want okay? Leave me alone! it is totally a necessary part of any story, or balanced breakfast! Oh and for the record I don't write sex so if you all were expecting sex guess again!
> 
> Also This chapter is really late, I'm so so sorry, remember that life thing I don't have? Yeah well apparently I have one and it gets in the way so much! I really hope this isn't utter shit, I mean it was one of those chapters I had so much trouble writing for some reason.
> 
> and
> 
> I FINALLY FIGURED THE COLOURS OUT DEAR LORD THAT WAS ANNOYING >:( *this is my is not amused face

After getting the location from Dave you are on your way to where he was, hoping if you make it there fast enough you might see him! Who are you kidding you never get their fast enough :'(. Anyway it is just then that a perfect target appeares before you. It seems just too easy, but you have to take this chance! Who are you to say no to fate? This is obviously meant to be. 

Wow that sounds horrible given the context of the situation huh? 

So you lift your gun and decide to take a brief detour before heading off.

Only there is a problem.

The rifle barrel is lined up nicely but your aim kept slipping. You raised the barrel again only to have a yawn upset your vision and when your eyes open again the target had moved, you curse and line up yet another shot, this time you take it but your hands had been shaking with the effort of holding up the gun.

In short you miss by a mile.

The target must hear the loud echo of gun fire becuase theu run. Damn why do they always do that!? Geez don't they know just who they are inconveniencing? Wow this is some really dark humor, maybe you have developed a new coping system? No time to think. “Shit!” you breath, taking off after them, only problem is you had distanced yourself so it is quite a run before you are even in the area of where they were and they are already long gone.

Still you keep on running panicked, unaware of your own chanting; “shit, shit, shit, SHIT!”

When you finally catch up to them you can smell blood in the air. It was coppery and thick. Thats weird why would it smell like blood? You don't think you hit him with that first bullet... in fact you are POSITIVE you didn't hit him with that first bullet. You keep pondering this as you jog up toward the source of the smell, oh wait now it makes sense. Dave is standing over the body of your victim and was just then pulling the sword from the woman’s limp body when you run up to him breathless. He gathers the memories scattered around her and turns toward you. You gulp at his look because you know you screwed up and Dave is going to lecture you now. God you didn't not want to listen to this, although seeing Dave was making your hearth flutter.

You close your eyes and wait for what would inevitably come. Instead he walks past you whispering your name in a deadpan that screams disappointment and maybe concern to you as he passes. Your eyes open with a gasp and you turn to see he is already gone. What the, he was there a second ago! That sneaky, sexy, cool kid bastard; he never sticks around does he?

Your phone dings a moment later.

TurnTechGodHead [TG] began pestering GardenGnostic [GG]

TG: you are off your game today

You bite your lip and with shaking hands type a reply back. Your so stupid. Of course he would notice, of course, you have always wanted him to notice you, so why did it have to be the day your game was off? Now he was always going to look at you with disappointment thinking you were a failure! Ugh you really screwed up!

GG: I know  
GG: I’m sorry  
GG: and thank you  
TG: don’t thank me for that  
TG: please just don’t  
GG: sorry  
TG: and stop apologizing  
TG: jesus you sound like Egbert

Despite everything you crack a smile and run off to get some work done, he has that effect on you. Still dread sticks with you because Dave is right, you are off your game but you can’t help it! You are just so damn tired that you can hardly keep your eyes open! Geez you don’t want to blame John but by trying to blame lack of sleep you are in fact throwing him under the bus so to speak.

Was that a Dave worthy metaphor?

Not even close.

Anyway, John is the reason you have been getting less and less sleep sadly, the two of you have strange schedules which usually leave him awake while you sleep and him sleeping while you are awake, however John seems to have acquired a strange sleeping arrangement in the last week. He hasn’t been sleeping much at night or at all.

He confessed to you about his nightmares so you stay up with him during the day when you should have been sleeping until he falls asleep and when he wakes up in a panic you calm him down, there are short intervals in which you yourself found rest but those moments were few and brief. What could you say? You had to help out your friend! Rose tried to name this sort of psychological disorder once... co-dependence or something? Whatever.

So neither you nor John are actually getting much sleep although you suspect John gets more than you, somehow.

Bluh, it seemed fine at first! You have enough energy to survive you both night and day, or so you thought. Apparently said energy comes from sleep, who would have thought. So for the first day it seemed okay and the second was bearable but now it is intolerable. Now it is affecting your work and you don’t need a metaphor to explain how bad that is.

You will try one anyway.

Okay let’s see here…. Um… how about it is so bad that if it was a smell it would smell like stinky feet stink and fish butt that has been left in the sun for you know a couple days! However long it takes for fish to smell really bad!

Oh dear lord.

That was terrible; Dave would be ashamed of you. Not even he could pass that off as shitty irony!

Good thing you did not say that out loud, it is your little secret with your brain. No one will ever know! EVER. 

Ever…

 

…

 

Ever.  


-

**Lets Be Dave Now Kay? Kay.**  
Okay you are now Dave, sweet; it’s nice to be a sexy Strider, even when he is out on the prowl killing nameless faces like a cat might kill mice. Damn straight, you are a cat but not a wimpy ass house cat, no you are a lion or a tiger, hell you are both. You are the king of this jungle bitch get used to it. 

Wow that made no sense at all.

Whatever back to the point, remember your mission from earlier? Of course you do, although it is more of a promise or an oath you made to that bastard Karkat than anything else. Yeah you swore to him you would be the one to fix John because hell if you will say that to Johns face, although being the oblivious guy he is, he probably wouldn’t take it as most people which is definitely not how you mean it.

nope not at all. 

You just want to help your friend, nothing more.

You are going to put John back together like a jigsaw puzzle or some sick beats out of a dictonary, not because you want to be the one to do it, no, because it should be his friends that fix him. Not grey angry dudes who are known to steal and take until nothing is left. It might also ave something to do with the fact that you are not all too fond of Karkat. 

They are not meant to be the ones to give, maybe you aren’t either but still John is your best friend, the best friend you can ever remember having; not that you had any to compare him to. Jade is your friend but she’s also sort of a girl so the comparison doesn’t work, and rose is your half-sister so she doesn’t really count. So that’s it, John is your best bro and you are going to be the one to fix him because that is what best bros do goddammit! 

You quickly flash step into another shadow.

Work should take your mind off stupid dorks with messy hair and glasses.

Again you flash step but this time it is to get closer to a target, The streets are empty like usual and he is walking along the white buildings looking nervous because everyone is at night, what with the imps and all, not to mention the trolls, although sometimes the trolls were what convinced people to go out at night. As you pass this person you see them in a blur and they gasp at the wind, but when they turn you are already gone, long gone into another shadow. They walk faster but like hell you are going to be slower than he is.

Moments later you flash step near them again, but this time to strike them. The hilt of your blade comes in contact with their side and they stagger to the side, holding their ribs, eyes darting around to find you, but you are a motherfucking ninja and you will not be seen that easy. You step closer to them, prepared to kill this time, prepared to split his head like it was your job, wait it is. 

Oh haha strider, real funny. 

First class humor cannot be expected of a person when they are in the middle of a reenactment of jack the ripper. 

You raise your blade, about to bring it down but wait; his eyes make you pause because dear god they are blue, a dark, beautiful shade of blue, the sort of blue you didn’t think could exist. He is sitting there peering up at you with this blue eyes that you cannot tear your gaze away from.

What’s more they look familiar to you. Strange because you think you would remember whomever wore eyes like these, oh right, soul in pieces right, right. 

In your hesitation they have gotten up and fled. The sudden movement is all you need to snap you out of your daze and in a momen you are after them. Still your hestitation was more than enough to give them some distance, not that it matters. You are about to flash step but then you hear a gunshot and Jade’s voice shouting ‘Shit!’ so you stop, turn and run in that direction instead with little more than a thought. You’d be lying if you said regret didn’t flash in your mind for a moment, but it was only for a second and you would never admit that aloud. 

Friends are more important to you; it’s the kind of thing you do for a person you care about. 

When you find her she is running after another intended target that she failed to hit. Damn what is with that girl today? You decide to be kind and as he runs past you grab the person by the collar of their shirt and hold him in place as they desperately try to get away. They are saying something but you are not paying attention.

When jade finally catches up to you, you turn to her and quirk an eyebrow in silent question; ‘what the hell Harley?’ your face is asking. 

She takes a few moments to catch her breath before replying. “Sorry Dave, hehehe I don’t know what’s up with me today! Maybe it’s nerves!”

You stare at her, titling your head a bit giving her a look that says ‘really? Was I really supposed to believe that bullshit?’

Jade sighs and you know you have won. She lifts her gun and aims it at the guy who is now begging for his or her life, you are not listening. “Sorry Dave” she sighs “I just… haven’t been sleeping enough” 

You say “Don’t miss” at the same time to gun goes off, so she likely did not hear you and you are glad. You really hate your own voice, it gives away too many of your emotions. Hurt flashes in Jade's eyes and you are reminded how much this really bothers her, sure she never says it or hints at anything but you can tell it really does bother her deep down. She was made for making friends, not taking lives.

The sudden silence is crippling, growing heavy like the deadweight you are holding. She just sort of smiles but it is strained and forced so it looses effect. You let the body drop.

Jade signs but drags the body away while you gather up the memories, there are not many which is somewhat disappointing but it is fine, you expected it. Some memories just die with the person you suppose. Rose made it out like people had hundreds of these things in them, so why were you only finding like ten or twenty?

Ignoring that you type a message on your phone while you wait for Jade. Really you need to find out what is up with her, she is so distracted and you don't know if sleep is all there is to it. Jade always as a terrible liar. When she gets back, rather than send it, you thrust your phone in her face so she can read the words you typed. 

TG: Lets go you need to sleep before you end up getting one of us killed out here

Jade smiles sadly and shakes her head, trying to explain but you are having none of that shit from her right now. Now was time for real talk not shit. “But I-”

You interrupt her by quickly typing another message and forcibly showing the screen to her.

TG: don’t argue jade its fine really I would just prefer neither of us getting hurt

Was that too sappy? That sounded sappy, it was however better than your first message; which was 'I don't want you getting hurt' and at least by mentioning yourself you can hold onto some of your reputation of an arrogant douche bag. She finally gives in and nods before following you back home. 

Dave one, Jade zero. 

-

When you get back it is a bit earlier than usual so you open the door carefully, aware that Egbert is probably still working with Rose so going in that direction is a sure way to your secret being uncovered.

You and Jade agreed that you would keep your occupation hidden from John; Rose seemed to agree as well. You didn’t know how he would react but it could only be bad. He might want nothing to do with you anymore. Rose said he would be more whiling to accept the idea later on, maybe when he got to know all of you better but until then you were stuck with this. Sneaking around like the rebellious teenager you know you are.

With Jade behind you, you carefully make your way upstairs. What you see actually surprises you. John is fast asleep on the couch in the living room. One of his legs is tossed carelessly over the opposite armrest his head is barley resting on. He is half on the cushions, half falling off.

Jade giggles at the sight, but when you look up she has managed to take the shower before you had a chance to. The sound of the door slamming is what wakes you from your John Egbert Daze. Not that you couldn’t have flash stepped your way over, you were just distracted. Dammit.

Silently you approach the sleeping derp and notice a line of drool is slipping down his chin. You smirk because wow you just might swoon at how hilariously disgusting yet very John that is. Not really of course, he looks like a total derp right now. 

You do him a favor and slip his glasses off his face for him, folding them and setting the thick frames somewhere nearby where he won’t bend or break them like the dork he is. He mumbles in his sleep and shifts a bit, “Dave?” he asks, his eyes fluttering open so you cover them with your hand because he isn’t supposed to see you like this.

“Go back to sleep” you command, still keeping his vision blocked off because you have no idea how well he can see without his glasses although you are pretty sure he cannot see for shit without the lenses. You make a note to test that later.

John mumbles something incoherent before he sighs and shifts again. “You should… talk more Dave…” he says before drifting off, which is when you know he was never fully awake because no one falls asleep that fast after waking up.

You let loose a breath you were holding as a huff which blows your bangs into your eyes before stalking off to your room to change. You shed the dark solid black shirt (you wear it to avoid bloodstains and it helps you blend in, you think) and change back into your usual white and black record tee. You also trade the skinnies you are wearing now for a clean pair before once again venturing outside your room.

Jade is still in the shower… damn her.

So you pad back to John and sit down on the ground a few feet from him and just… watch him sleep. You may or may not be part creepy stalker but if you are you blame bro. Nah you couldn’t do that, Bro was like a god of cool. He taught you everything about irony and locking your emotions behind a poker face. Too bad he couldn’t do anything about your voice, or the fact that you run your mouth. 

No amount of cool would ever change that fact.

An Idea hits you.

You lift your hand but hesitate, so it floats in the air while you make up your mind. You steel your nerves and gently place your hand on Egbert’s head, you keep it there before patting him lightly, then a bit harder until finally you practically smack him and he jolts awake. You snicker.

“Dave?” he says with that puppy dog pout he always uses on you, brows furrowed and smile turned into a frown with beaver teeth poking beneath his upper lip. “Dave I can’t see”

“Can’t you now?” you turn around and grab his glasses, slipping them back on his face. 

John blinks a few times and then stares at you. Finally he breaks the silence “Why did you do that?”

You shrug “’was fun”

He blinks a few more times before speaking again, letting out a loud breath as he does so. “You’re early.”

At this you roll your eyes, even if he cannot see your eyes, if you get your way he never will. “Observant aren’t you?”

He laughs a little at this and moves so he is sitting up, rubbing the back of his neck. Then he pauses like something just struck him over the head (not you this time) “Dave?” he says slowly.

You answer hesitantly “yeah?”

“You’re talking” he states very matter of fact; but almost disbelieving. You suppose you are, you hardly noticed. You shrug and he goes on “Like, out loud” he adds. You roll your eyes again and he smiles, that big dorky toothy grin he always flashes. How does he face not hurt from all that smiling? You open your mouth to say something else when Jade heads out of the bathroom, leaving it open for you and effectively shutting you up. 

Bot of course before you can get up and head to the bathroom yourself Roxy comes running up the stairs. She looks out of breath and is holding her phone tightly in one hand. (It’s a light shade of pink with cats on it) Roxy takes one look at you both and walks forward, shoving the screen in John’s face. 

Your best bro seems taken aback at first but then he reads whatever is on the screen and gets a quizzical expression on his face. “Who is GutsyGumshoe?” he asks, looking directly at you, as if you have all the answers.

Oh wait you do.

Okay maybe not ALL of them but you know who this person is. 

This makes you pause for a minute and then it clicks in your head, slowly you pull out your phone (you have been talking too much already and you do not trust yourself to talk right now) and send Roxy a quick text. 

TG: you cant mean what I think you mean

Roxy smiles and nods her head “Oh yes I do” She looks up suddenly and announces “I need to tell Dirk and Jake!” Roxy then yells both their names and runs off (stumbling you notice) to bang loudly on their doors. This makes both you and Egbert wince. 

“Dave do you have any idea what is going on?” He asks slowly, while an annoyed Dirk and Jake emerge from their respective rooms.

(In the background you can hear them talking back and forth, Dirk; “What the hell Roxy?” Roxy sounds like she can hardly contain her excitement and from your peripheral vision you can see her shaking with joy.)

You nod slowly. 

(Roxy; “Guess what? Yuh- you guyz won’t belev- Buhleef- b-uh-lieve this!”) 

“Care to share with the class Dave?” You snicker and text him.

(In the background Roxy is already revealing the good news. Jake; “Goodness Roxy just tell us already!” she giggles drunkenly for a moment before all but yelling “Jane is coming back!”

TG: so you know that more people than just us live here  
TG: There is like this girl, shes about dirks age and her name is Jane”

“Jane Crocker?” he asks suddenly.

(Dirk you think is smiling which is rather unusual for your bro, not BRO bro but… whatever, trying to maintain his cool he asks; “When?”)

TG: Yeah how did you know?

(Roxy jumps up and down you can tell from the vibrations in the floor. Roxy; “Soon I think, she dn’t- didn’t say when she waz gunning- gunna- going to be bak- back.”)

“Lucky Guess…? Anyway go on”

TG: Jane just like left a while ago, went on some weird ass adventure or some shit  
TG: nah that’s more englishs thing  
TG: its been a while since we have seen her anyway  
TG: she is popular among the masses as you can tell

You and John turn when you hear Roxy squeal. She is forcing both Dirk and Jake to hunch over as she smothers them in a hug, she is giggling again and while normally this would be uncomfortable Dirk is actually smirking and Jake is grinning. To be honest you do not blame them, those three treat Jane much like you Jade and Rose seem to treat John. They are all good friends, especially her and Dirk, those two are close (not like THAT but you know like friends.)

Betrayed by your eyes you glance at Egbert who is smiling along with them, he pushes up his glasses and says softly, kindly; “I can’t wait to meet her!”

Why’s your stomach doing weird flips all of a sudden?

**Be the scary troll lady**  
Okay but it is your funeral. 

So you are now Vriska Serket and right now you have two other trolls looking over you. You are sitting on some metal bench while Sollux types away on a computer and Equius dances circles around you muttering to himself and prodding the nub where your arm used to be. It still fucking hurts but you won’t tell them that. Whenever you look over you expect to see an arm there, you know it should be but it never ever is. Well according to Karkat they were going to fix it, otherwise you were fucking useless to them. You knew you were; not if you didn’t have an arm and couldn’t one up them at their own game. 

Right now your focus is survival, and survival means intel. You wonder how much these two will spill to you, although it requires you actually talk to them. Geez, no one can say you don’t surfer for the life you lead.

“What’s the operation you guys run here anyway? You ask while Equius takes a few more measurements and continues mumbling. At your words he and Sollux trade looks. Sollux shrugs and looks uninterested.

“Well” Equius starts but is soon cut off.

“We trade memorieth and thuff with other people. Well it’th more like we theal memorieth thince they get nothing in return.”

Equius gives Sollux a look and you think he is sweating more than usual if that’s even fucking possible. “I don’t think… um… we probably should not be discussing this...” 

Sollux once again chooses to look bored and uninterested. “Ath if I care, bethideth it’th not like thhe can do much harm.”

You don’t know whether to be grateful or insulted. Insulted is more what you are feeling so you are going to go with that. You hold back your temper however because you need them to talk to you and ask instead. “What do you mean you steal them?”

Equius is definitely sweating more, he mutters something and walks off to a table where he starts messing around with various parts and metals but you don’t care about him, you care about Sollux who is giving you information. 

“They give uth memorieth and we give them bullthit.”

“Could you maybe explain a bit more?” you hiss through your teeth, hardly able to keep the bite out of your voice. God could he just tell you already, was all of this build up really necessary? That fucking lisped bastard. 

Sollux smirks a little and digs around in his pocket. “We give them thith.” You are about to blow up and shout at him when he keeps talking. “Before you bother athking, I’ll tell you what it ith. Thith is familiarity, at leatht that’th what we tell them. Really it’th jutht some drug Gamzee came up with, it cautheth the brain to produthe therotonin, mixed with a mild muthle relaxant and leaveth the uther very open to thugethtion.” Oh god you can hardly understand him with that damn lisp. You want to punch him in the face, but right now you need to play nice.

Serotonin you remember is basically what gives a user a high after taking certain drugs. You have no idea how you know that but you do and you are not going to question it, when you think too hard your brain starts to hurt. “Okay, so basically it gets you high, relaxes you and leaves you open to suggestion?” he nods and you pretend you are interested in the stuff for more than just worming your way into the business. “So why do you give them that?”

He gives you a look like it should be obvious but answers your question anyway. “We tell them we can help them remember without the hathle of finding thoul bits. We give them thith in exchange for thome pietheth that didn’t belong to them in the firtht plathe. We give them the thit and then tell them to remember, human memory ith tho unreliable to begin with that it tharth to make thit up, tho they think they are remembering thingth when they aren’t. The effect lathtth about ten hourth, after that they won’t remember anything they thought they remembered while on it.”

Well that sort of makes sense, if the drug makes them open to suggestion you could make them remember just about anything without any of it being real. That’s messed up in a sick deranged way. 

You love it. 

Silence clings to the room as Equius examines your intact arm, measuring and murmuring. Eventually he turns to you and says; “Well then, you are free to leave, I should have something for you in a few days.” With that he makes a motion for you to get up and go while he goes back to tinkering with his toys. 

You on the other hand go up to Sollux and ask him very convincingly; “Mind if I take that vial off you?”

He smirks and hands you the vial of bright neon blue liquid. It feels heavy in your jacket pocket as you leave the room and ascend the stairs. 

-

The blaring bass hits you first before the lights and the smell of alcohol in the air. Karkat on top of being the equivalent of a drug dealer was also the owner of a nice night time hotspot. The club Alternia which you learned is also useful when conducting business. This is one of the only night clubs you have seen here in Limbo, it is hard to miss but easy to overlook unless you are actually looking.

Upstairs you saw a decent crowd had gathered, you could hardly hear yourself think but you rather liked the feel of this place, the whole party thing is really your thing, but you don’t have time to fuck around. 

Among the population you spot a few Trolls, Karkat thank goodness not among them. Your gaze ignores most of the others but lingers on a troll you know as Kanaya, it is hard not to see her since she wore bright red in a sea of monochrome colors. Suddenly you want to talk to her, vials can wait right? Slowly you edge around people and get closer to her. She is sitting at the bar with a strawberry blonde, chatting it up from what you could tell, not that you could hear their conversation. You try to read the words on their lips but fail miserably.

The vial in your pocket reminds you of your important mission but you ignore it for now because Kanaya is down here for the same reason you are, and you want to see how it is done. God admitting you weren’t good at something sucks but hey no one is around to hear it so yeah you will admit you want to observe before you try.

Don’t ever bring this up again or you will break someone’s nose. 

You take the red bar stool a bit of a ways away from them, thinking it will be best. From this angle you cannot see strawberry blondes face but you can see Kanaya very well and that's all you really care about. She has this small smirk on her painted lips as she speaks which has you smirking as well. 

A few moments later the blonde hands Kanaya a memory who waves down the bartender, quickly the blondes glass is refilled. That’s when you remember that memories are almost a form of currency here, although usually they only asked for a few seconds or minutes, never anything big otherwise no one would give up anything. 

They talk for a while longer before Kanaya is handing off the vial to the blond and in exchange Kanaya gets a rather significant chuck of soul. You are practically drooling over it from here. Fuck you needed to get your hands on some more memories; that just got booted up to priority one on your list of things to do. 

First things first you have to find a suitable sucker to take this bullshit cure for memory loss off of you so you have something to ask for in return.

 Strawberry blond downs the thing and coughs a few times, downing the rest of her drink as if she had swallowed wrong. Kanaya continues talking to her for a moment longer before gently lifting the girls hand to her lips and placing a simple kiss there. The blond gets up and wanders off, so you opt to take her place. 

Kanaya looks up at you as you sit down. You make sure to pose yourself right on the stool, draping one leg over the other, leaning on the bar slightly and whisking your hair off your shoulder with a dramatic flick of your wrist before settling your hand onto your knee. Kanaya has a small smile on her face, almost like she is annoyed but interested all at once.

"Why Vriska, odd to see you here so... soon." Kanaya waves down the bartender again and gets some fruity drink you would never remember the name of, which she has in her hand moments later. "Karkat does not normally let fresh trolls work this soon after finding us."

You smirk back at her, that sort of cocky you know I am better than you twitch of your cerulean lips. "Hah as if I need THAT guys permission."

Once again her own expression is one of amusement more than anything else. "Oh but you will if you intend to work with us."

You huff at this because as if you want to work with them, really you only want to survive, you need to prove you are better than them so yeah you want to work with them, and dominate them in their own field. That's right you OWN this field. You are brought out of your thoughts when Kanaya laughs lightly and no you did not just think it was the best sound you ever heard, what would make you think that? Wait, hear that? Is that your heart beating faster? 

As if you would be crushing on her this easily, this is just the usual response to being around someone you despise obviously. In that very moment you decide Kanaya is now your biggest competition and greatest enemy. 

"Well I suppose you will not be deterred so easily; it is quite endearing actually." Kanaya sips at her drink again. "So why not test what skills I am sure you already possess hm? To see how worthy you are of our line of work."

You get right up in her personal space, to the point that you are breathing the same air as her. You exhale slowly and she inhales sharply as if caught off guard. "bring it on bitch" you say back to her, releasing the words in quick sigh. You notice her breath hitches and her breathing is getting heavier. Good, you like leaving an impression. Besides, the girl is rather good looking, a fun toy to play with later maybe? Hm, emotions were fun to mess with, no wonder the trolls liked to use this stuff. 

Kanaya leans back away from you and scans the crowd quickly. Then she jerks her head in the direction of some suitable prey. She's a brunette wearing heels so tall you are surprised she didn't break her ankles just walking in here. She has a tattoo along one arm and is leaning against one of the far walls. you glance at Kanaya (wow are her cheeks turning green? It's like a jade color, troll blush you suppose?) as if to ask 'for real?' she just smiles and lightly pushes you off your seat in a 'just get going' motion.

You make your way over to Ms. Brunette over there, striding with your head up high and chin in the air in an obvious gesture of arrogance and grace because you know Kanaya is watching and like hell you will let your enemy, you kismesis see you screw up. 

"Nice tattoo" you tell her as you approach, which leaves you open for idle conversation you do not give a shit about. You do not even pretend to listen to her. She thanks you about the tattoo comment and goes on about something. She tries to start another conversation but you cut her off because oh your god you do not care! "Look I'm damn busy, how about we trade already, memories that aren't even yours for this stuff that will help you remember everything. What do you say?" 

It takes a few more moments to sell off to Ms. Brunette but eventually it works and you silently cheer. How was that Kanaya? 

After bumming off the familiarity you turn around with a smug grin to see what Kanaya thought, only to see her nowhere in site. You start to look around frantically because that bitch! You went through all this work and she didn't even see it!?

After a few more whiplash inducing head turns you see a troll, but not the one you were looking for. Karkat spots you and angrily stomps his way in your direction.

**Vriska: Abscond**

Yeah no shit! Oh wait, your not scared of this little bastard, if he wants a piece of you, bring it on. Okay so maybe you are a little scared, if he decides he doesn't like you he can toss you out onto the street and all of this hard work would be for nothing! Not as if you actually put a lot of work into this but seriously the streets? No, just no, that is so not happening. So with the look of a girl that owns this floor and everyone on it you stride toward him, and your arms are definitely not crossed defensively.

"What do you think you are doing!?" he quietly yells at you once you are within earshot.

You shrug trying to shove it off as not a big deal when he grabs the front of your shirt tightly and tugs you down to his level. You hear a rip as his claws tear through your shirt. "You. Won't. Do. Anything. Without. My. Say. So. Understand?" he hisses through his teeth, you know how angry Karkat can get but right now he is downright scary. You however do not let it show and just glare right back at him. You grab his wrist, the one holding your shirt, and squeeze until you hear the pop that tells you yeah you just broke his wrist. Surprisingly he doesn't even flinch, well he winces but that's about it, his grip doesn't lessen.

"I do what I want" you spit back, next thing you know he is dragging you back downstairs. You don't have much else to do but follow because struggling has gotten you no where. When you finally get to the bottom floor Karkat Hits you, right in the jaw, hard enough that you would have fallen backwards but he is still holding you. You hiss and hit him back. When he strikes you again you really do fall. 

Karkat huffs and dusts himself off before stomping away, you notice he hardly has any injury to him and here you are on the floor bleeding from the lip. As he leaves you notice Kanaya standing in the doorway and suddenly it all makes sense. Vantas stops to whisper something to her before angrily leaving. That bitch, she turned you in. 

Kanya walks up to you like she hadn't just stabbed you in the back, you like to think you don't actually care but it actually hurts to know she would do that, then again what more were you expecting from your kismesis? If anything this should be reassuring right? This means there is a budding hate between the two of you.

Kanaya walks up to you and extends a graceful hand out to you. You glare at that hand and instead chose to sit yourself up with minimal difficulty. Her jade eyes are trained on you the entire time. She knows you know and she is showing nothing like shame or remorse. As if on cue she takes a step forward (not that there is much room between you anyway) and says blankly; "I am not sorry."

"Good" you say with your usual I don't give a shit attitude while taking a step forward until she has to look up to see you, you were slightly taller than her. "I wouldn't want you to be." that was true enough, yeah maybe it hurt a little to be betrayed but you expected this, in fact you would have done the same thing, if not something worse.

the rest of the conversation is a bit of a blur, and by conversation you don't mean talking because not a single word is passed between you. One moment you two are starring each other down and the next she is attached to your lips like a lifeline, lapping at cerulean blood pooling from your split lip which hurts like nothing else but feels so good at the same time. Your teeth make similar marks on her own perfectly painted lips. 

Hers are green and your are painted blue, what color are you going to get when this is over?

Really this isn't the time.

It's almost strange how fast this was sprung on, you don't believe in soemthing as stupid as love at first sight, no this was downright loathing. The kiss is more teeth than anything else, like you want to devour her whole and make her a part of you. Like attempted murder, a homicide in the form of bitten lips and tongues tracing teeth, tangling together as you try to gain dominance over the other in your mouth; trying to force your way into hers.

Kanaya has her hands on either side of your face as she presses herself closer, you have your hands on her hips, digging your nails into her skin in what must be a painful grip. Her hands slid down to your neck, claws dragging down your skin and giving you more reason to bleed. You battle with her for a while before finally gaining the lead in the tongue tug of war going on between your open mouths and lips sealed with the others. Taking this as a moment of opportunity you shove her against the nearest wall and tilt your head almost perpendicular to try and mash your mouths as close as possible. 

She is the first to make a sound of pleasured pain as you give a particularly hard bite to her lower lip, lapping up the blood (which tasted horrible by the way but somehow you cannot get enough) Kanaya pulls back with a gasp so you busy yourself by tasting her skin. By the thud you just heard you think she leaned her head back again the wall, you smirk against her neck as you bite at the grey flesh leaving marks and bruises. She makes another surprised half gasp half moan before roughly shoving you off of her. 

Wow is she a sight to behold. her lips are bloody, bits of your blue lipstick are on her lips, some parts are smeared together to form some sort of strange blueish teal, those same lips are swollen and kiss bruised, her face is flushed a dark jade (trolls have different blood colors and judging from the mess on her lips you know hers) and her eyes look wild. You smirk because you did that. It's quite the feeling, knowing you have that kind of power over someone.

Before you can question why she ended this impromptu make-out session she grabs your arm roughly and drags you further downstairs. You keep your hands on her distractingly as she tries to find her room. (at least you think that is where this is going.) Several times you shove her against the nearest object to kiss her again before she resumes her search. 

Finally the right door. Clumsily it is thrown open and you stumble inside, slamming it loudly but not giving a single fuck. 

Roughly you force Kanaya down into her bed and climb on top of her, attacking her lips again. You wonder if she'll regret this in the morning.

-

_"Keep an eye on her Kanaya..." Karkat had whispered before leaving the troll and stomping upstairs. Kanaya was left with the dreadful feeling that she was doomed to some fate that she couldn't escape from. when she met Vriska's eyes she knew for certain this was soemthing she wasn't going to be getting out of._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! You can check out my tumblr if you wanna see some random junk I post, mostly it will be writing and art, also random shit. http://clockworkarithmetic.tumblr.com/
> 
> Don't forget to comment!
> 
> \- Headphone Archeologist


	8. Brief Intermission Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short pause from maddening plots and angry trolls, it's time for a well deserved break.
> 
> (one of two maybe three parts in this short arch don't worry this is actually necessary for the plot, its not just random shit or is it?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hows it going readers, so I have more updates for ya'll
> 
> As you can probably see this chapter is very short compared to all the others I have written and I am sure you noticed how fucking late it is. Alas the school year is coming to the close and while my big end of the year Biology/English/History research paper/presentation thing is over with I now have finals to worry about, i have two next week and the rest a few weeks from now. Until then I am not going to post a new chapter and when I do the new chapters maybe or may not be longer or shorter as I have taken on several new projects, two being new fanfictions and another being an original project. 
> 
> I am so sorry but my love of writing will not out-way my love of learning and my education is very important to me. I hope you understand and the end of the year is very soon and I will be posting so many new chapters it will make your heads spin. I will likely edit this chapter in the future because it really is not my best work.

Today is a lazy day you decide, Jade and Dave seem to agree with you there too because they are both sitting next to you, watching some television show none of you are paying any attention to. Apparently Rose had given Jade and Dave last night off so they got plenty of sleep and are actually awake the same time as you. Apparently today was a vacation day.

You are John now by the way in case you didn't notice (although you have never been anyone else so its sort of obvious you are John) and you are sitting on the left side of the couch, against the armrest, propping your head up on your arm. Dave is beside you in the middle looking bored. His slouch gets worse every few seconds. Jade is at the right end, laying half on and half off the couch, her head is hanging off the cushions and her feet bent at the knee over the back. Her glasses are slipping off her face and he lack of movement has you wondering if she can sleep with her eyes open, and if she can is she?

Nope she just blinked and shifted slightly so definitely awake.

Your phone pings suddenly. 

GrimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

GA: John Are You Busy?  
GA: John I Need To Talk To You About Nepeta.  
GA: She Has Become Insufferable Since You Blocked Her

You roll your eyes and realize oh yeah, you had totally forgotten about that. You suppose you do miss talking to her, roleplaying was fun. Discreetly you type up another message. Jade had decided phones were outlawed while TV was on in what was probably an attempt to make Dave talk so you agreed with her. At the time anyway. 

EB: Kanaya this isn’t really a good time to talk  
EB: jade will kill me if she sees me on my phone  
GA: Yes Well  
GA: I Need To Talk To You About Resolving Your Issue With Nepeta  
EB: alright ill unblock her later okay  
GA: Excellent And John  
GA: Nepeta Also Wanted Me To Ask You About Something  
EB: can this wait  
EB: she looked over at me!  
GA: No John This Is Important  
GA: Nepeta Says You Have Not Been Getting Sleep  
GA: She Asked Me To Talk To You About It Since You Were So Reluctant To Talk To Her  
GA: Is Something Bothering You?

Crap.

EB: why are all of you trolls suddenly so interested in my life?  
GA: Because We Are Being Paid To Piece You Back Together  
GA: It Is Practically Our Job To Care John  
EB: either way im busy right now, jade is going to kill me if I get caught texting!

Just as you hit send your phone dings again. This time it’s Dave texting you. You turn to look at him, he hasn’t moved an inch, so then how did he text you? Damn he was good.

TurnTechGodHead [TG] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

TG: texting during a movie Egbert  
TG: you know what jade has to say about that  
TG: shame on you  
EB: and what about you oh great strider?  
EB: arnt you texting too  
TG: maybe  
TG: But I know how to avoid getting caught

You look at him again, he really is good.

You don’t notice Jade has gotten up until she hits both you and Dave on the back of the head. You yelp in surprise and Dave curses under his breath. Jade then leans forward and takes both of your phones. “The Hell Harley?” Dave asks, rubbing the back of his head.

“I thought I told you guy’s texting while watching TV is off limits!” She says, moving your phones out of reach because at this point you have reached behind you to try and grab the device back. What if she saw all the messages from the trolls?

“Jade come on” you complain “give it back please?” you plead. 

She puts one hand on your forehead and holds you at arm’s length, holding your phones even further in her other hand. Dave is snickering you can tell by the way his shoulders are just barley moving. After a few moments Dave decides to join the game because he reaches over the back of the couch to grab at your phones but she moves out of his reach. 

The two of them end up chasing circles around the couch while you lay there clutching your sides from laughing so much. You rub at your eyes because you can hardly see through the tears, with your vision cleaned up you watch fondly as your two friends continue to chase one another.

At least until Dave catches her, it’s funny though because you didn’t even see him move, it was like one second he was over there and the next he grabbed his phone back from Jade. Huh, must have been your eyes playing tricks! Dave seems to have noticed you starring because suddenly his expression falls (well actually it hardly changes but looks more strained than before, a false calm) he doesn’t visibly relax until you smile reassuringly at him. 

It had to be a trick of the light anyway, no need to make a big deal about it. You must not be sleeping enough again hahaha…

-

**Catch Up With Rose**

You are currently seated in the small pallor you have adopted and made your own personal study, sort of. It was full of your books at least. You expected today to be dull because you allowed the boys and Jade off the hook for today, you had plenty of memories and you thought it was starting to become unhealthy for John to be inside all the time. Something was going on with him… You just hopped it wasn’t some sort of relapse from his previous condition. 

Of course, those expectations are shattered by a head of messy black hair. 

Jade pops her head through the door and waves at you. “Hi Rose!” she says happily. 

You gently set the book you had been reading down on the small table in front of you before folding your hands in your lap. You turn to look up at Jade and smile kindly at her. “Hello Jade, care to sit?” 

She nods and skips inside, her arms swaying at her sides as she does so. It is all very childish and yet so very Jade. She takes the seat across from you and smiles warmly, as if that smile ever left her face anyway. “What’cha doing?” she inquires. 

“Just my usual routine, I should ask the same of you jade, I thought maybe you would be hanging out with the boys today?”

Jade sort of rolls her eyes playfully. “I totally was but then they started texting each other in the middle of the movie and so I was like ‘wow that’s rude!’ so I took their phones from them and then Dave got mad and he chased me around! He used that flash-stepy thing which is totally unfair by the way! Then I figured I would come say hi to you, I thought maybe today we could let the boys be boys and we could do something fun together!” 

You think about this for a moment because Jade looks so hopeful, not unlike a puppy begging for a treat or pat on the head. Jade was simply adorable to anyone, no one could deny that face but you also did not fancy being dragged around town today.

A sigh escapes your for once lipstickless lips. “Jade I am truly sorry but there is much I should do today” you start to further explain when you are rudely interrupted. 

“Wut are you talkin’ ‘bout Rose sis? You dun-don’t got nuthin tah do tuhday” Roxy drawls, slipping inside with little grace to drape herself on the chair behind Jade who giggled. “Come ooooooooon sis, its gud-good to haf-have a day off sumtimes right?” She gets a look like suddenly she had a brilliant idea and an idea coming from a drunken Roxy can only mean something awful. “ohemgee why dun’t we go shoppin!” 

Jade inhales sharply sounding excited, you can see the pure joy in her shining emerald eyes. “That sounds awesome! Can’t you go Rose, please! I’m sure the boys will be fine by themselves for a while!” 

It would be so much easier to turn them down if Jade was not giving you her best puppy eyes and Roxy were not giving you that look that screams challenge. 

After contemplating it for a while you stand up and brush off your dress. “Alright I will accompany you, but first I need to change.”

Jade proceeds to squeal in the most inhuman noise you have ever heard and quickly high fives Roxy who nearly misses and almost hits her in the face. 

Signing you decide to shoot Dirk a text so he knows whats up.

**TentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering TimaeusTestified [TT]**

TT: Dirk just sending you a heads up  
TT: Jade Roxy and I are going out for the evening  
TT: Try not to destroy anything  
TT: If I said I wasn't it would be a lie and we both know it  
TT: That is why I said to try  
TT: I know how difficult it is for you Striders to avoid breaking things  
TT: Say what you want but youre still at least half strider  
TT: Whats that say about you?  
TT: I got the better genes

Jade makes another inhumane squeal over something Roxy said. You begin to wonder if this was such a good idea.

-

Oh god you are so bored. You and Dave have been sitting here watching nothing on TV for forever! You think you might die from boredom soon. 

You chance a glance over at Dave who is sitting next to you with his arms folded over his chest. You start to wonder about him, he’s such a mystery really, what do his eyes look like? Why doesn't he ever talk? What does he do when he gathers memories? What was with that disappearing act earlier? You shake your head to dispel the thoughts right when you feel a hand on your shoulder. 

You nearly jump through the roof and squeak in surprise. Quickly you turn your brown gaze onto the person standing behind you. Dirk is smirking no doubt at your reaction and Jake is behind him. He waves when you gaze over at him. 

“Good morning chaps!” Jake says happily as per usual in his accent. Dirk moves around to sit next to you as Jake does the same, only next to Dave. 

“Sup?” he says, draping a hand over the back of the couch, you jump again and look at Dave as if to ask for help. He just shrugs at you. Wow thanks Dave, that’s so helpful.

“So what are you guys doing?” Jake chimes in. 

Again Dave shrugs, leaving you to talk to them. Great.

“Nothing really” you say awkwardly.

“Really” Dirk chuckles dryly. “Because I just got a text from Roxy, she Rose and that Jade girl are apparently going out or something, which only leaves Mom and Bro behind to watch us and they both are either passed out are don’t give a shit.”

You don’t even have to look at Dave to know he is smiling, you look at him anyway and yup that’s definitely a smile, or a smirk, whatever. You look at him nervously screaming ‘help’ with your eyes. All Dave does in response is give you a thumbs up.

Oh no, this can only be bad. 

-

You stare at your reflection in the mirror, slowly rounding the black lipstick onto your lips because you would never be seen outside without it. Roxy is standing beside you, putting some something that is a horrid shade of bright pink, Jade even managed to find something in the lime green category. Really Roxy had some strange colors didn’t she?

Make up finished you check your outfit, for this occasion you chose your white shirt with a black skull in the center, a short light colored skirt and black tights topped off with lavender converse that you got simply to annoy Dave. You slip a Goth punk hair clip into your hair and you feel you are ready. 

Jade wore a simple long skirt, black boots with green laces and a white shirt with what looked like a dog head on the front. Roxy on the other hand dressed much like you, only she chose a pair of shorts with black tights and her shirt has a cat on the front as well as shorter sleeves. 

Looking at Roxy you decide to slip on a jacket just so you don’t look so identical. You are positive she did it on purpose. 

Jade smiles at you when she notices you were looking at her, she then waves playfully. “Everyone ready? I do hope dear Roxy that you know where it is we are going.” You say, completely serious.

Roxy laughs and grabs your arm, Jade takes the other one and they drag you outside. “Of course!” she says once you are outside. 

Maybe this won’t be so bad?

-

“So… what exactly are we going to do?” You ask, following close behind Dave, you are very tempted to just grab him arm like a child and cling to him. You don’t of course because you definitely are not a kid. Dave is standing close to Dirk and Jake is close to his side. You prefer being behind them because this whole situation is making you nervous. 

Dirk sort of shrugs and it reminds you far too much of Dave. “Dunno really, we could always raid Mom’s liquor cabinet and blame Roxy.”

You pale because oh god they cannot be serious. “Wha? B-but we’re underage!” you say, surprised at how loud your voice is and annoyed by the slight squeaky quality to it. Dave comes to stand beside you, he must have gotten annoyed with you starring at the back of his head.

Dirk shrugs “I was kidding… mostly” he says the last part quietly while shooting Jake a knowing smirk. “Besides, time doesn’t really mean much anymore, for all we know we could actually be years older than we are.”

Dave must be snickering at the look on your face, so in retaliation you punch him lightly on the shoulder. He keeps snickering. Yeah it was shitty revenge but you were not really into good ideas apparently because you agreed to this. 

Oh man what should you do?

Dirk laughs at the look on your face and lightly shoves you into Dave, funny when was Dirk standing next to you? “Calm down kid, I’m kidding. We’re just going to do down into Mom’s Lab a poke around a bit. Bro dared me to and I figured we might as well make a double date out of it.”

You flush madly and go to protest because what the hell you were all guys here! Not that there was anything wrong with that you just… you didn’t like guys alright!? Your protest however dies in your throat when Dave all but shoves you out the door into a courtyard. There is a second building some distance from you, Dirk and Jake lead the way and you look up at Dave who only shrugs before continuing.

As you enter the building Dave pokes you in the shoulder and you ignore him, instead fixing your gaze ahead of you on Dirk and Jake. He pokes you again and this time tugs on your sleeve a little, so you humor him and turn in his direction. He points somewhere over his shoulder with his thumb and raises a brow at you as if in question.

You have gotten used to trying to decipher the motions Dave makes into actual words, and you must say you have gotten pretty good at it so far. You think he is asking you to go somewhere with him. Using quick and possible terrible decision making you nod and let him drag you to another part of the house. 

“Dave where exactly are we going?” He pauses long enough to place a finger against you lips and then just kind of stares at you like you should know what he is trying to say. You try you really do but god damn it was difficult to understand him when HE JUST WOULD NOT TALK!

So you shut up and just follow. 

Finally he opens a door and motions you inside. You notice that he checks down the hall before quietly clicking the door shut. The room is rather small, larger than Dave’s but still small. There is a desk a bookcase and a large bed, also piles of yarn and unfinished knitting from what it looks like. This had to be someone’s room. From all the purple on the walls you think you know where you are.

“Dave" you start slowly, just as he takes a seat on her bed. “Why are we in Rose’s room?”

He shrugs and digs his phone out of his pocket. Your own phone dings. 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB]

TG: why not  
TG: besides rose wont mind  
TG: I come in here all the time  
EB: what do you mean all the time dave  
EB: you go through roses stuff while she is gone  
EB: what the hell  
EB: are you a creepy stalker dave  
TG: egbert shut up  
TG: it’s a sibling thing

Oh right, you forgot Dave and Rose are related. You suppose it sort of makes sense, maybe this is normal for the two of them. Still you do not want to get caught up in whatever… this is.

TG: dude you should see the wizard porn she has under her bed

Okay you would have been fine accepting this if he had not just said that. “What the hell Dave you go through her stuff!?” 

He just snickers and keeps on typing on his phone, you think he’s texting you but your phone never dings so you go to sit next to him, trying to sneakily peak over his shoulder at his phone. When he notices he takes the glasses off your face.

“Dude not fair!”

-

**Be the Angry Blue Lady**

You are now Vriska and you are quite honestly pissed. 

When have you ever been not pissed?

Shut up you could totally be something that isn't pissed, you feel emotions. Geez, insensitive prick. 

…It just doesn't happen often

Shut up.

ANYWAY you happen to be pissed today because Karkat has sort of maybe banned you from any and all business transactions until he decides you can be trusted. On the bright side you may or may not have a thing going on with Kanaya. You figured the morning after when you woke up alone in bed with your lipstick smeared and hers in places it didn’t belong that she woke up too guilty to even stick around. Of course this theory was proven wrong when you saw her later and she then dragged you to the nearest dark corner- you know where this is going. 

Cue hot messy make-outs. 

Still you are not sure what you are to each other and you think you are fine with labeling it as ‘kismesis’ for now. You still saw her as your biggest rival, god you wish you could read minds.

So like any smart person facing such problems you proceed to get smashed only to find out you have a superhuman tolerance to alcohol. Seriously you have downed a number of drinks and you haven’t even the smallest buzz going on. This fucking sucks. 

You sigh and decide to stop trying when a poser with a purple streak in his hair sits next to you. Oh wait that’s a troll; you think his name is Eridan? He takes one look at the glasses scattered around you to immediately sympathize with your situation or at least that’s what you get from the look on his face. 

That fucker laughs at you. Makes you want to cut a bitch. “Happens to all of us.” He says simply, he has some sort of accent you cannot name and really you are not paying enough attention to what he is saying to notice. “somethin’ to do with all the souls.” The hipster quickly flags down the bartender in search of his own drink.

You roll your eyes “whatever” you mumble, standing to find something else to do. 

Maybe Kanaya would be up to some angry sex you really need to blow off steam. 

Of course that has to be the time you see something that stops you in your tracks for a breath of time that seems like forever. You notice a flash of blue eyes somewhere in the crowd, eyes that are unfortunately stuck on a person, a guy. For one reason or another you pause and just stare, maybe one of the souls inside you resonates with them? Maybe not, maybe you just really like blue eyes.

They are the bluest eyes you have ever seen, bluer than anything comparable but if you must try they remind you of the wind. You decide right then and there that you will have those eyes, they will be yours. 

Slowly you make your way over to him.

The guy is standing by himself near one of the walls, obviously he was not the kind of guy for a place like this, and you wondered why he was here but answered your own question. Most people ended up here, one way or another. Everyone wanted to remember and here was where everyone knew to come if they wanted just that. 

“Hi” you say flicking your hair off your shoulder, offering a predatory smile. The man in question flinches at your voice and turns those pretty blues toward you. You resist licking your lips. 

“What?” he says looking startled by your appearance; apparently he has not seen a troll before.

You laugh, and offer a clawed hand with an equally sharp smile. “Name’s Vriska” you say. 

He eyes you wearily and eventually takes your hand; you use this to take a step close to him. He looks uncomfortable and to be honest that’s exactly where you want him. “What do you want?” he asks you slowly. 

Your lips almost twitch into a frown but you manage to keep the whole serpentine look about you. “To help” you say smoothly. You tap a sharp nail on his forehead. “I know why you are here; you are here so you can re-mem-ber.” You tap his head while enunciating each syllable of ‘remember’.

He still looks nervous and maybe you don't actually have any familiarity on you right now but whatever, you were winging it. 

Besides, judging from the look in his eyes he is more than whiling. 

You smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this chapter is so under par compared with the others I have written while I am sad to post something that is actually incomplete (i had to put this chapter into parts because I did not have time to finish it) I really wanted to post something so ya'll would know whats going on in my life and why I'm not updating. 
> 
> As usual comment if you would like it means so much to me and inspires me so much. Thank you all for putting up with my crap.
> 
> Headphone Archeologist


	9. Breif Intermission Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the inevitable storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUMMER IS FINALLY HERE AND I CAN GET BACK TO FANFICTION!  
> FINA-FUCKING-LLY
> 
> Okay so yeah I am back and oh so ready to start updating like no tomorrow and guess what? I have another story out now too! Whoohoo! It's a little less dark than this one in my opinion but it's also rather depressing because really i can't write things in which my characters have happy stories. 
> 
> But I digress. I hope you enjoy this chapter, there will be one more part to this little arch.
> 
> I dare someone to count how many times i used to the word 'Fuck' in this chapter.

You open your mouth, about to propose a deal that sounds a lot like; give me your eyes and I'll give you some drugs that'll make you think you remember stuff when you really don't- that I don't actually have at the moment but hey you take IOU's right?- Except a lot better sounding than that; when you catch sight of a certain angry asshole making his way toward you. 

Wow was that a long sentence, you would apologize but that's really not your style.

More importantly, what the hell is up with Karkat always following you around like you are about to fuck shit up? Okay, most of the time you really do ending up causing trouble but still. You didn't need him to be constantly watching you. Doesn't he have anything better to do with his time? Sheesh.

Sighing you turn towards him with a fake smile. "Hey Karkat, how’s it going?" You say trying to sound less annoyed then you know he knows you are (than he knows you know he is).

Growling Karkat grabs your arm and yanks you forward. "Come with me" he hisses, leaving you no option to argue but you try anyway because you are Vriska Serket and this spider bitch did not back down. She certainly did not go or do anything someone told her to willingly. 

Your eyes seem to roll without your consent, but that's okay you would have told them to do that anyway. "What’s the hurry Karkles?" you purr, borrowing Terezi's nickname which seems to piss him off because he punches you in the nose shortly after. Okay you really had not seen that coming.

Ow.

And gross your own cerulean blood is dripping over your lips and tastes really nasty. It isn't so bad when it's someone else blood but when it's yours it is awful. You wipe the access blood off on your sleeve and are disgusted by the sight of it.

"Son of a bitch" you curse. "Might want to watch that anger asshole." you mutter, half hissing through clenched teeth.

You don't want to fight with Karkat, not really, well yeah maybe you kind of want to drive something through his chest and watch his blood pool but that would be counterproductive and would eliminate a good source of entertainment. He doesn't respond to you and instead drags you over to a familiar face who looks as startled to see you as you are her, and practically throws you in Kanaya's lap. Which you wouldn't mind really but when did she get here?

"Fucking watch her Kanaya, she's your responsibility!"

You flip Karkat the bird as he storms away because fuck him you do not need a babysitter under any circumstances, even if said babysitter happens to be the girl you may have slept with and want to continue sleeping with. You suppose it could be worse, even if you still really hate Kanaya for always being so calm and understanding, for being trustworthy and beautiful while you are angry and about as trustworthy as a snake with a missing arm and fucked up eye.

Letting out a quick annoyed huff of air you cross your arms over your chestand click your tongue. Eyes slipping shut for a brief moment before you gaze at Kanaya through your glasses. 

Kanaya has one graceful hand covering her mouth, trying to hide a smile as she waves politely with the other. "Hello Vriska" she purrs in a tone you are scared to label loving. Fuck her for laughing at you and fuck her for how good she looks when she smiles. Frustrated with how sappy you sound, you turn away.

"Fuck all of you, you guys act like I need to be babied and watched constantly." you growl, not trying to sound like a bratty pouting girl and failing spectacularly. You take it back. Fuck everyone else and fuck your life. 

Being the wonderfully terrible person she is, Kanaya places a calming hand on your shoulder and dares to kiss the top of your head. She really is acting more like a matesprit right now than your kismesis. You need someone to fight with, not hold your hand and whisper soothing things into your ear. "That is just how Karkat is dear, give it some time and he will be more... lenient and allow you to move with more freedom."

Somehow you highly doubt that. 

You watch sadly as Mr. Blue eyes walks out of the club and try to avoid sighing. You really did want those eyes, even if you had to carve them out of his pretty head.

**Lets be someone new for a change**

Okay take your pick? Dirk or Jake?

**Um... eeny meeny miny moe...**

JUST PICK ONE DAMMIT!

**Fine lets be Dirk**

No you wanna be Jake instead.

**You could have just said so from the beginning**  
 **Be Jake English**

You are now Jake English and- hold up one gosh darn moment. Where did John and Dave get to? Those two could get into quite some trouble if they are left on their own like that! So you turn to Dirk who is wearing his usual unreadable expression but with a slight smile that you never see on the younger Striders face. 

"Dirk I believe your brother and his friend have run off."

He snickers a bit and trains his eyes (or his shades) on you. "Yeah I know. They skipped on us in the lobby. It’s fine, I was kinda hoping to get you all to myself anyway." His tone is rather playful.

You cannot be certain (when are you ever certain with a Strider) but you think he just winked at you. Damn that Sexy Strider. 

Suddenly, Dirk stops and his expression fades. All sense of playfulness gone from his face as his shoulders tense. You stop as well and turn to look at him curiously. "Dirk?" you venture, reaching out to touch him but stopping halfway, your arm hanging awkwardly between you two.

"Somethin' ain't right..." 

Suddenly the atmosphere is very tense and even you are on edge. Of course as an adventurer you recognize the taste in the air and one of your hands finds your pistol at your side. You glance at Dirk periodically from the corner of your eye and find him standing almost perfectly still.

Out of nowhere Dirk whirls around and catches something brightly colored. It is what looks like a bright red puppet, but not any ordinary puppet. You recognized this one. What was Dirk and his Bro always calling them? Smuppets? There was hardly time to even think when in a blink of an eye the eldest strider was suddenly standing behind Dirk and letting an armful of colorful rumps fall onto Dirk who looked less than amused. 

For a moment nothing moved, Dirk seemed to regard the puppets and then he slowly turned around to look at the taller, older version of himself. Bro laughed lightly.

"Bro?"

"The one and only" he said, clapping both you and Dirk on the back hard enough to knock the wind out of you. You had been working with Dirk for a while, a long while, and you have talked to both Bro and his younger brother on numerous occasions. Yet you still don't understand them, not really, and you doubt you ever truly will. These Striders were simply a mystery to you, and not just simply because they hide beneath ridiculous shades. You suppose it was just they way they were, you didn't really MIND but it was quite annoying always feeling like you are being left out of some inside joke.

"What are you doing down here oh king of cool?" Dirk asks, with a mock bow to complete the image.

Bro smirks and then shrugs in a combination that might be comical if it wasn't mysterious and suspicious. The eldest Strider looks down at his pile of smuppets, still pooling at Dirks legs before picking one up and tossing it from one hand to the other. Without another word he heads further into the hall, tossing the smuppet back over his shoulder, landing at Dirks feet with the others and a soft squeak.

If there was one thing you were positive you would never understand it was the obsession these two boys seemed to have for these strange... smuppets.

You look to Dirk and raise a brow in question, he merely shrugs identically to his Bro but with a more relax quality and follows after him. For a moment you are left dumbfounded and wondering what just happened. Instead of thinking about ti you run after them to catch up.

The Striders were indeed a strange bunch, but you would be lying if you said it were not an adventure to work with them.

**We should check on the girls now, so lets be Rose.**

You are Rose Lalonde and you are suddenly regretting your decision to go out.

It is bright outside (well bright for a place that is always dark), crowded and Roxy is herding you around in an unpleasant manner. She continuously drags you into whatever store she can find and before you even have an opportunity to decipher where you are she is dragging you outside again. Honestly Roxy is starting to become insufferable. 

Jade seems to notice your expression because she smiles softly in your direction and gives you a thumbs up; which looks too much like an action the young Dave Strider would take to be comforting. None the less you smile back at her.

Without warning Roxy is pulling you away again and Jade is skipping joyfully after you.

You love Roxy to death, she is family after all, you really do. But you and her were simply to different to get along. None the less you found it difficult to hate her, and at least you managed to avoid the Passive Aggressive war as you are currently engaged in with your Mother.

It feels like forever but it has to only have been a few minutes when you are suddenly not moving and Jade is tugging on your arm instead, asking you; "Rose did you see where Roxy went?" Strange, you did not thought you had 'zoned out' as it were for that long. You were merely lost in thought for a moment and suddenly Roxy is gone.

You look around for the familiar head of blond hair but see no such person in the crowd. Your painted lips turn downward in a frown. "No Jade I did not." You say, slightly annoyed with this turn of events.

The green eyed girl shifts her weight and ponders for a moment before speaking up. "What do you suppose we do? She'll find her way back right...?"

Fruitlessly you look out over the crowd again. Roxy was quite a character who would get into trouble no matter where she went, and while on her own it could only be worse than normal. At the same time Roxy was and "Adult" (you use that word carefully when describing her) and could handle herself for the most part. Roxy could always be counted on to get out of any situation she had caused. Most of the time anyway.

Not to mention you are actually a bit glad to have lost her, she was a handful. 

So you grin at Jade who looks at you nervously and reply; "yes of course, Roxy can rejoin us later. For now let us enjoy the shops while they are open." Jade smiles a little back at you and seems too eager to comply although you can tell she might be a bit worried and while she has good reason to be you find it hard to feel anything but relief. 

You and Roxy had a complicated relationship. None the less it functioned, somehow.

**Be john and get your glasses back from Strider!**

Oh you are trying. It is on like Donkey Kong, Dave won’t even know what hit him when you are through, oh no, you are making this happen.

In a quick decision you throw yourself at Dave, reaching for your glasses which are just a blurry smudge of black in his hand. You hear a clatter and assume he dropped his phone (hopefully not your glasses although you are pretty sure he did not). Dave leans back and holds your glasses even further away, using his other hand to try and push you off him.

You are far too focused on your glasses to notice any of this, you only lean even more, reaching as far as you can occasionally chanting a quick; “Come on Dave give them back! I can’t see without them!”

It isn’t until you accidentally elbow Dave in the gut and he makes a pained noise that you look down and realize the position you are in. Your breath catches and time for the first time seems to stand still.

Dave is stretched beneath you, your glasses in his left hand which he is holding as far from you as possible. His other hand is pressed against your chest in a perfect position to push you off if he would only use his superior strength against you. You are sprawled on top of him, practically laying on his chest the rest of you between his legs, your hand still reaching for your glasses now hangs awkwardly frozen mid reach. 

You realize with a start why it is you can see his face so clearly, it’s because you are probably an inch away from him. Your noses are practically touching in this position and you can almost _almost_ make out his eyes behind the dark tint of his glasses. You feel a blush creep up your neck all the way to your ears. You open your mouth to apologize but then pause abruptly.

Something about this whole situation feels familiar. It doesn’t feel like you have done this before per say more like you had imaged doing it so many times that it felt real.

Of course that’s crazy because you are John fucking Egbert and are not a homosexual.

Contrary to that statement, you find yourself leaning down just a little, eyes going half lidded as if you mean to kiss him. Again this is ridiculous, you are in no way attracted to Dave Strider and you mean that. You really do, it's not just denial. He is your best bro nothing more, still it feels like in some other life that you can’t quite remember he may have been something more important; something vital even.

In this entire time Dave hasn’t moved, you are not even sure if he is breathing. When you look up into his eyes, or shades, you are annoyed to find he somehow kept the dark lenses on through the impromptu wrestling match. You wonder if his eyes have taken on the same dreamy quality you can image yours have. 

You wonder more than ever what those eyes look like. God you just wish he would take them off once in his damn life!

Your lips brush his in the softest of touches, you wouldn’t really classify it as a kiss just yet but if the slightest of pressure were put into the motion by either party it definitely would. 

“What are you doing?” Dave asks, his breath is warm on your face which seems to steel in your mind how close his is. Hearing his voice snaps you out of whatever trace you were in and your eyes go wide.

In the silence all you can do is stare at him and try to sort this out in your head.

**Dave: Reflect on how you got in this situation**

Hell if you know. One moment you were texting Terezi about how amazing the color red was and the next you have one John Egbert chilling in your lap and trying to get back his glasses. You didn't really understand what he was so upset about. He did kind of deserve it. Eavesdropping was in no way cool nor was it ironic. 

Therefor; bad Egbert, bad. He totally had this coming but he still felt the need to pounce on you.

Right now he is giving you what you are certain is a blue screen of death look. Like his brain is running on a dial up connection and yeah you would say his brain has crashed. Egbert has left the building ladies and gentleman.

You shift a little underneath him and find your hips are being pinned down by his which is kind of weird because he’s your best bro and this whole situation is kind of weird isn’t it? It isn't really... unpleasant exactly. It feels normal for some reason but it should be really fucking awkward; you know the whole being pinned down by your best friend who just so happens to be a guy. Slowly you bring your hand up and snap in his face. Trying to get him out of this trance or whatever it is. 

“Earth to Egbert” you whisper. Wishing you could just text him, although your voice is a pretty low priority on your list on conscious worries.

His eyes return to focus and glace at you, he snatches his glasses back, shoves them on his face and jumps back from you, his face putting tomatoes to shame. 

“S-see? Wwwas it rrreally so hhard to just give tthem bbb-back?” he said, never meeting your eyes and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, as if trying to salvage the moment. Good luck Egbert, the room was more awkward than waking up with a hangover in a strangers house trying to pretend you did not have sex with them even if you know you totally did. 

Not the best metaphor but it'll do.

**Meanwhile...**

GC: H3Y COOLK1D YOU ST1LL TH3R3?  
GC: >:?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual thanks for reading and don't forgot to leave a comment my lovely readers!
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes by the way, I didn't have anyone to read this chapter over and I am awful at writing in my own native language without fucked up spelling and grammar. 
> 
> -Headphone Archeologist


	10. Breif Intermission part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and then it all falls apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i hit a roadblock with this story but I think i got the train back on the tracks now so you can expect updates again however I am not sure when the next will be. Hopefully soon. This chapter may be a bit choppy, after all I have not written this for several months.
> 
> I hope i did Terezi justice and I apologize for my failure to write the alpha kids well.
> 
> I think when I finish this I am going to merge all the intermission chapters into one super chapter.

The walls are an almost off white while the tile is about as blinding as snow. Overhead are hanging lights, the sort that are long and cylinder shaped. All along are various doors and corridors. Your bro really was not kidding when he said this place was a maze. What the hell could one Lalonde need with all this fucking space? 

The better question is why the hell did you bother to notice all this pointless shit? 

Well its not as if you have anything better to do?

Nice try brain but that's a shit excuse. 

It's a little creepy down here, not scary but eerie even someone like you who wears a poker face every minute of everyday can appreciate how fucking creepy this long dark hall is. You have no idea where bro is leading you but you trust him not to get you and Jake killed. Well it can be hard to trust the ever mysterious Bro however you are at the very least half of him and you trust yourself... then again you are only the younger half, you can't say how you, or him in this case who is older, would act or react to anything. Whatever you can handle this, you and Jake make an awesome unbeatable team and you are sort of a genius so whatever Bro is about to throw at you, you think you got this.

At any rate you should probably stop thinking about this.

Slowly (trying to make sure he won't notice) you step a bit closer to Jake absentmindedly. You aren't scared or anything, and there is no way Jake is scared, he so brave he crossed the line into stupid and reckless.You would just prefer that everyone stick together.

Okay shut up you are so not scared. Maybe you just like standing close to Jake did you ever think of that?

it seems like forever and a half of walking before Bro finally stops and opens a door; beckoning you and Jake inside. You hesisitate for only a moment before stepping into the dark room in time for Bro to flip the light on. The room is suddenly drowned in light and you flinch, even with your shades it takes a moment to adjust to the burning lights ahead.

When you do finally see more than white you can hardly believe what light and darkness had concealed.

"Is that..."

"It can't be... "

"What the hell is Rose doing down here?"

"That's not Rose"

You turn in time to see Mom standing behind you, looking as sober as she has in quite a long time. She is even lacking her trademark patent pending martini glass. As if all this wasn't strange or frightening enough.

**Be The Real Rose Lalonde**

You are now Rose Lalonde and something strange is going on. Roxy is still missing and Jade has run off to look at something in another department but that's not what is troubling. Currently you are eying the racks mindlessly while silently observing the people around you because something about this seems off. First there are quite fewer people outside than there should be at this time of day, secondly the air is missing a certain mindless chatter that usually surrounds crowds. Everyone seems much quieter, more reserved, even hostile to one another. 

You only began to notice a few minutes ago when you saw two people get into a rather loud and physical confrontation over what appeared to be nothing. Since then you have witness numerous others bickering or insulting one another. You find it quite strange and very worrisome. A few fist fights have even broken out which no one did anything to stop.

It could be any number of things, but none of the solutions you have worked out seem to make much sense. Something always remains unexplained.

The eerie and tense silence is broken suddenly by a familiar voice raised in obvious irritation and exasperation. You turn in time to see a woman yelling in Jade's face, and while Jade is taller than the other woman, she seems to shrink back from her words until Jade herself is yelling just as loudly at the other. 

"What you're saying doesn't even make sense!" Jade yells while taking a step forward forcing the other to move back. It's not often that Jade looses her cool but when she does she is a force to be reckoned with. In a second an open hand tries to make contact with the left side of Jade's face. With quick reflexes that could only be matched by a strider and possibly Jake, Jade ducks and tries to hit back, Jade does not take shit from anyone but you do not see how one person could work her up with fast. Before a physical fight can start you are right by her side and are able to catch her closed fist before she gets anywhere near hitting the woman who probably deserves it. 

"Jade, stop." Her fiery green eyes meet your violet iris's which are trying to convey 'this isn't you think about what you are doing.' It takes a moment but she calms down right quick, and in that time the other woman has walked off muttering obscenities. "Lets go" you say calmly waiting for her to nod before you both walk off to search for Roxy so you can get out of here.

If one person could make Jade this upset this fast you shutter to think of the trouble Roxy could be in.

Something strange is going on.

 

You stare down sightlessly at your phone screen, waiting for the indication that Dave messaged you back. It never comes, so you keep staring somewhere just above your phone because well you can't actually see it. 

Terezi Pyrope is your name and somethings going on, and not just with Dave. With the trolls too. So of course you are going to solve this mystery and put whoever is behind all the strange happening in their place, assuming everyone is guilty right off the bat all you have to do now is find out who is innocent. 

Your list of suspects is long, so you decide to start with Karkat, you're obnoxious "boss" who you had a short fling with awhile back. Not exactly a motive since you are not sure what crime was actually committed but motive is motive even if it makes no sense for the current case.

Karkles is usually easy to find, you just have to follow the screaming and cherry sent. It's a bit annoying because his blood smells practically the same as a humans but his is more like candy, sweet, while a humans is thicker and has a more coppery sent/taste. 

Yes you have in fact sampled every trolls blood so you know what it smells and or tastes like. 

For example, Sollux has a spicy almost mustard taste, and that new girl has a salty watery taste, sort of like the ocean. Yes you did in fact manage to get a hold of her blood, not that it was difficult at all seeing as how Karkat was always beating on her. That was actually your first clue that something odd was going on, because Karkat isn't usually that violent. That and Sollux is becoming more secretive and isolating himself, Kanaya seems distracted all the time and Gamzee is acting like Gamzee, but weirder. The mysterious appearance of Vriska is another odd occurrence. 

On the dance floor you wrinkle your nose because you hate how disorienting all the smells are, it's loud and so many bodies make it difficult to pinpoint anything. You can sense so many souls shards (none of them belonging to that kid John which is good you have more important things to do than work) but you notice something else, there is a large number of people on the floor. Not humans but trolls, you can smell the spicy yellow of Sollux, the calm teal of kanaya, she's with the salty cerulean girl Vriska and pretty much every other trolls employed here. Actually you CAN smell every single troll up here. Odd.

Karkles is easy enough to locate, his blood is the strangest considering it's the closest to human but just "troll" enough to stand out. "Hey Karkat" you say, cracking up when he startles and demands you tell him hat was so fucking important that you had to scare the shit out of him.

"Why are there so many trolls on the floor? I thought you only kept a few of us up here at a time?"

It's quiet for a moment as if he is taken aback by your question. You can smell his hesitance to answer. A small rustle of fabric and the wet sound of Karkat nibbling his lip, you can assume he just shrugged at you. You grab his arm and drag him off the floor and into a quieter lower room. Once alone you roughly manhandle him against the wall. "What the hell Terezi!?"

"You did it didn't you? Don't lie to me either I can taste your deception." You lick his face as if to prove your point. His skin tastes bitter, salty with sweat and warm from an accelerated heart rate, obvious cues that he is lying. He should know better than to try and lie to you. Tsk tsk Karkat. "The last few days more and more of us have been bringing in more and more soul shards. I am assuming you are behind this" an intake of breath and misplacement of air, obviously he is about to say something "don't try to deny it, i know all your lies!" he snaps his mouth shut and you can hear him rolling his eyes.

"What you are saying doesn't even make fucking sense! Fuck Terezi let me fucking go!" 

You tsk and click your tongue before licking his face again. "You even taste a little odd, obviously you are behind all these strange happenings! I need a second opinion."

Without a second word or glance you drop karkat and stride to your headquarters, or the enclosed space designated as your room. On the left wall there is a large collection of scribes posted in disarray on a cork board, most of it is in red because you love red. To the untrained eye it seems like blobs of random color and failed attempts at writing but to you it is a detailed list of all your clues so far. (but in reality it is just scribes and random blobs of color.)

On your messy bed there is a small dragon plush, your second in command. You point your cane at his snout and ask "what do you think?"

"..."

"LIES! Karkat is obvious responsible! Don't forget that you are under oath!" you yell into the silence which greets you with only more silence. 

You cackle loudly.

**Be John But a Several Hours Older**

Blue eyes stare restlessly at the ceiling, you have lying in your (Dave's?) bed for god only knows how long now. Your mind is racing and won't settle on any one thought, although a few are choice. Every few minutes or so your thought drift back to one topic and stay there as if magnetized for the longest time before once again your mind drifts again to orbit another planet. 

What the hell were you thinking earlier? You almost kissed your best friend, your very MALE best friend. When you think about it you feel a strange mixture of nauseated and confused. You can't exactly explain what was going on or happening in that moment because you simply do not know. Your brain sort of short circuited and it was like you were possessed by something that was nearly you but not quite.

Dave is warm, his touch his personality it's all warm and heated and he smells lightly of sand, like a warm desert, singed almost; more like a volcano. You still do not know what came over you, you only know that in that moment It felt like the right thing to do; like it was something you have always wanted but never got to do. It was just... instinct. 

You need to stop thinking about this.

You try to think about what happened after the near kiss. You and Dave had sat for a long time, communicating in your usual living manner, i.e. silently through text. Nothing seemed odd although Dave was talking a lot more than usual. Sure he was prone to rambling btu you could hardly even get a word in.

Things between you do not seem changed at all, you still laughed and he still smirked, you both talked animatedly and treated each other like best friends.

Nothing is different, at least you still have that.

Sapphire eyes slip shut and you breath for a moment, pushing all thoughts out of your head until you are in that relaxed almost sleepy state and your thoughts take on a mind of their own.

You imagine a different place, a place that is so much brighter than the outside. It is bustling in a way that Limbo does not, people are everyone some with luggage others with backpacks. Some are running and other look confused up at signs with words you cannot understand. People are talking but it feels like another language because you cannot hear or make out any of it. Outside there are giant machines, some are even flying. A loud voice booms over speakers and it makes some people panic while other just calmly move to where they are supposed to. You have no idea where you are coming up with this setting it was just... there.

You are waiting for someone in the large pool of people, you don't know who until a head of blond hair and shaded eyes appears in your vision. The daydream has taken on a mind of it's own and you are running toward Dave for the simple reason that you WANT to see him, be near him, to wrap him in your arms and never let him go.

It makes you feel a little sick in the worst way but in the dream you are far to excited to notice any real feelings. 

Dave doesn't run but he is moving toward you, you jump into his arms with such force you both almost topple over. Dave just laughs quietly and holds you tight. You lean back slightly and smile happily; he smiles back at you and before you can second guess yourself you are leaning forward and closing the gas between your lips. 

His are slightly chapped, a but rough but the kisses are soft and wonderful. Your eyes slip shut an you press all the more against him, moving your lips softly, shyly and Dave kisses back in kind. You feel like you cannot get close enough to him, every place he touches you send electricity down your spine making you press even closer to intensify the feeling. 

It is not until his tongue traces the seam of your lips that you snap out of your imagination.

What the hell is wrong with you!? You don't feel that way about Dave!? You can't! He's your best friend and you just don't feel that way about him! Where did that daydream even come from anyway? It was so vivid, not real enough t be a memory but it was familiar in the way that you know you must have thought about it often.

Which is scary.

Does this mean you knew Dave before all this? Does this mean you and him were together before all of this? Now you feel a bit sick.

Groaning softly you lean back into the pillows and take a deep breath. The day has left you tired, confused, sick (and maybe a bit aroused but no one needs to know that.) You close your eyes again and slowly drift into sleep, fighting off bad thoughts that leave you more confused than anything else.

That night you dream about a place you have never been, about a blond boy you love named Dave and your friend Rose who both live so far away. You dream about your sister Jade and your life before Limbo.

And you don't remember any of it in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> If you want to look me up on Tumblr my username is Clockwork Arithmetic and I will leave a link here at the end of every chapter. Don't forget to comment!
> 
>  http://clockworkarithmetic.tumblr.com/
> 
> -Headphone Archeologist


	11. Mad as Rabbits with Teenage Hormones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And things only get weirder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see bros.
> 
> So I had this written for a while but I never finished it until now. Sorry guys, I am in no way a professional writer and I really cannot write unless I am in a very specific position to write. I've also been really stressed out in school and well... people are not really very nice. 
> 
> Either way I hope this chapter was worth the wait!

Wake Up

You're tired, you're glasses keep slipping off your face and now you keep having trouble sleeping. First it was just John and now suddenly you're having bad dreams too, so when he comes to talk in the middle of the day you don't question. Usually you were awake anyway. 

It's starting to get ridiculous. 

Looking at yourself in the mirror you see a seventeen year old girl with tangled black hair that falls in a light wave. your green eyes stare back at you, the black beneath said eyes makes it obvious to your current state of insomnia. Sighing you take a brush to your hair and are only mildly successful at taming it. You brush your teeth and smile at your reflection when you have finished. It only makes you look more tired.

Before meeting up with Dave you grab your rifle and make sure it is loaded. When you exit Dave is sitting on the couch with his shitty sword across his lap. His shaded gaze meets yours and you smile weakly. He stares at you with one blond eyebrow raised as if to ask you if you are ready. Or maybe you are completely off but reading his gestures is hard so no one would blame you.

"Ready" you say back, trying to keep the excitement in your voice but it doesn't seem to work.

You and Dave both leave the house side by side and Dave visible relaxes. You are not sure why but he has seemed pretty on edge lately. It's mostly when he thinks he's alone or when He and John are in the same room but are not interacting in anyway. 

In general John and Dave have been acting odd toward each other, in fact the whole house seems to have jumped off the deep end. Dirk and Bro have been avoiding each other like the plague, Roxy and Mom have been drinking more. Rose looks about as tense as a tightly wound spring because of it.

Did you mention John and Dave are acting weird? Because they are.

The two of them have been very how you say, "touchy feely" they sit closer together and they try to be in the same room whenever possible. When they walk they make sure their shoulders bump every so often. It feels like something monumental happened between them and you missed out on it. What if they are like dating now, in secret? If so they are being totally subtle about it. Totally subtle.

You want to ask him about it but you have the decency to wait until the two of you are alone to bring it up.

"So Dave, whats up with you and John huh?"

Dave stops suddenly and turns toward you, his sword balanced with the blunt end resting across his shoulders and his other hand tucked into his pocket. He's a bit taller than you but only a little and to some maybe he looks a bit intimidating what with the sword and what not but to you he was harmless and the whole 'I'm a badass' thing was sort of hot.

But you were so not thinking about that right now.

"Nothing" he says slowly, turns and starts to walk again.

Rolling your eyes you skip up to him, turn around and walk backward in front so your eyes meet his shades. "Don't try to play dumb Strider, I'm onto you and your little game so there isn't any use hiding it"

Dave's expression is not what you expect. You thought he might blush a little, look away, break eye contact or something. Not the blank confused face he was giving you right now. Damn his poker face must be really good, because of course it could not be genuine confusion. It is odd though, you thought you could read him better than this, you obviously were wrong.

"It's Nothing" he repeats and vanishes into the darkness. Damn him and his flash stepping!

"Just you wait Strider! I'll get it out of you one way or another!" you yell, not knowing if he actually heard you or not.

Silence is all the response you get, if even that. Sighing, you slip the rifle from your shoulder and into your hands before running out to greet the darkness. 

-

As it turns out being tired AND distracted turns is a HUGE disadvantage because you don't even hit anyone, even when so many people are outside. It's strange because usually there are hardly any people outside and now suddenly the place seems to be crawling with them!

Weird, what the hell is going on?

-

The Strange happenings don't even stop, because when you get home you find something you never expected.

You can hear the yelling before you even get to the house at which point you, Dave, Jake and Dirk bolt toward the house (you met up with Dirk and Jake about ten minutes ago). The door slams open and voices erupt from inside.

Rose is stood between Mom and Roxy, Holding her hands out to keep them away from each other, John is with her, trying to pull Roxy back from where she is pushing up her sleeves and clenching her fists. She shouts at Mom over Johns head who shouts back, and at one point throws a glass at her which easily misses as both look drunk off their ass and maybe even completely off their rocker. 

You rush in to help Rose push Mom back and Dave of course runs to John who is pulled away from the battle by said blond, Jake rushing in to take his place. Dave and John are talking but you can't hear what they are saying and your trying hard not to listen or to care.

Mom is trying to get past you and Rose is trying to talk her down.

"Mother please just stop-" she is interrupted by more yelling and you can't even tell what they are fighting over. They just seem to be screaming nonsense at each other, insults and threats. Their voices are so slurred that you can barley even understand them but it's odd because you cannot smell alcohol on either of them.

Dirk looks like he is about to speak up but Bro pushes past him and speaks first. "Everyone calm you're fucking tits and shut the fuck up!"

The fighting seems to escalate and Dirk looks like he is going to explode at Bro when the door opens again and all at once everyone is silent. Slowly all eyes turn to the figure standing in the doorway. "Oh my" a calm and soothing voice says.

And just like that it is over.

"JANEY!" Roxy screams, breaking from Jake's hold and running toward her, engulfing her in a hug. Dirk smirks and calmly walks over to them, being pulled into the hug by Roxy's hand on the front of his shirt. Bro and Mom stand off to the side, smiling lightly and soon Jake is being pulled into the impromptu group hug as well.

You make eye contact with Rose and raise a brow in question. She just shrugs her shoulders, obviously lacking an answer to what the ever living fuck just went down here.

You turn to ask Dave but you see him and John leaving the room in a hurry. You want to go after them but think better of it.

What is going on with them?

**==== > Be Dave**

Please do not ask what you are doing because you have no idea. First Jade is asking you weird questions about John, then you get back and find everyone fighting and THEN Jane conveniently shows up and suddenly everything is fine.

Now why you are dragging John with you, well maybe he could shed some light on the situation. That and well, you really do not want him to get hurt. You don't know why really, other than he has became you're best friend. 

To be honest you have no idea what is up with you and john, neither of you are acting any different except that you feel the need to be touching pretty much all the time. You don't feel any different, it's not like you woke up and fell in love with him or anything. You just really, really do not want anything to happen to him.

Once you have made it a safe distance from the others you stop and turn to John. You arch one blond brow in question.

John raises his hands as if in surrender or confusion, likely the second one. "Don't look at me I have no idea what happened. I was working with Rose when suddenly we heard yelling and then we ran out. Roxy and Mom were yelling and throwing things and I have no idea what started it! We tried to stop them but they fought back pretty hard, I can't even tell you how many bottles nearly hit me... hehe."

You're eyes widen at his last remark. Gently, not so gently, you put a hand on John shoulder and force him against the wall. His breath leaves him in a gasp and you grab his chin, turning his head from side to side looking for damage. Family or not if they hurt John... well you had no idea what you would do. This weird protective instinct just will not go away and has been here since you met him.

"Dave what are you...? I'm fine promise! I mean she scratched my arm a bit and kicked me in the leg a couple times but I'm fine I promise!"

Satisfied that his face has not been hurt you grab his arm and pull up his sleeves and note that yeah, she did scratch him pretty hard. Still he seems fine so you breath a sigh of relief. 

His eyes watch you for the longest time and it's only then that you realize how close you are standing to him. You practically have him pinned against the wall. You do not really oppose this because hey, you're friends and both of you have been dying for this sort of contact for a while. You step even further into his personal space, until there is not an inch between you and he gasps; eying you curiously. 

He hasn't pushed you away, if anything the grip on the front of you're shirt is pulling you closer. Not that you could really get any closer.

You don't know what you planned on doing in this situation, you really didn't. Which is why you are really surprised when John yanks you forward by your shirt so you're lips clash together roughly. 

Then everything gets still, at least for a few seconds.

You don't like John, he's only you're friend and you are not attracted to him at all. Thinking abut it now it's so weird because you are kissing you're best friend and yet at the same time this is exactly what you want. It's like you're mind which is shouting at you how wrong this is and you're body which just wants to get closer are at war with each other. 

Rose talked about muscle memory before, although you have no idea why you thought that just now.

Confused and conflicted, you kiss him back. It isn't gentle or loving like you feel it should be, it's full of nothing but the desire to be closer. You brace your hands on the wall by John's head and his snake around your neck to pull you closer. It's alien at first which is odd because you seem to know exactly what you are doing despite a lack of experience, but soon enough you're lips are moving in perfect sync, aching to get even closer. 

You trace the seam of his mouth with your tongue and he gladly opens to you, allowing you to lick into his mouth, making him shiver against you. His hands are shaking and you can tell he doesn't want this anymore than you do, and yet neither of you can get enough.

The kiss turns filthy as you press even closer, titling you head to get a better angle. He moans into you're mouth and you gladly swallow it down as you start sucking on his bottom lip, nipping the soft flesh making him moan louder.

When you finally part you both are panting heavily and a bit of saliva connects your mouths. His lips are red and swollen from you're attention and his eyes are glazed over. You stare at each other for the longest time. Confused and exhausted you lean your head forward against the wall just above his shoulder. Turning you're head you use this position to lick a long stripe up his neck, placing a small secret kiss to the spot just below his ear. You don't know what you are doing and you cannot seem to make yourself stop.

"D-dave?" he asks softly, shivering from the touch of your lips. 

"Yeah?" you breath hotly into his ear. He shivers again.

John swallows hard before responding. "D-do we have to talk a-about this?"

You shake your head but whisper "no" to him anyway.

He slumps against the wall and lets out a sigh that can only be relief. It wasn't until the tension left him that you realized he had been tense at all. He does not want to talk about this, and you do not want to talk about it either; so you won't. You are going to go on as if it never happened. 

Kissing his neck one last time you stand up straight and take a few steps back, hands in your pockets. You smirk a little and he smiles a bit. "I'm gonna... yeah, that way. See you latter Dave." He walks off and you don't look at him as he does, instead you turn and head in the opposite direction.

The kiss wasn't really... weird, not like you thought it would be. Even if you basically just made out with your best friend, you still feel sick like you might puke and thinking about it makes it worse. 

Yeah so you are not going to think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were you guys surprised? Were you? Did you enjoy the johndave? Did you? I know a lot happened in this chapter and not very much makes sense but I promise answers are on there way! Until then enjoy the kisses because shit is about to go down. Again.
> 
> Dont forget to comment! Let me know what you think is going to happen! Why is everyone suddenly fighting? Where has Jane been this entire time? And more importantly what the hell is up with john and Dave?
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> \- Headphone Archeologist


	12. AUTHORS NOTE NOT A REAL CHAPTER

Okay so, I'm gonna be level with ya'll

I haven't posted anything for TWO YEARS which is a long time. I stopped writing this fic because it was becoming incredibly stressful, i had too many ideas and not enough time. I also noticed things about the plot that I didn't like, holes that made no sense, and that my writing quality had plummeted into hell. I had no inspiration and no time.

However, I've seen a lot of love for this fic, it still gets notes even two years later.

HOWEVER, two years is a really long time and naturally my writing style has changed like hell since then, hopefully it's improved but that's really up to the reader.

BUT

I've started writing again, and I've started to post again, AND I am whiling to take up this project again if enough people want me to. Understand that if I do chose to continue this story i would be completely rewriting it, starting from scratch to fix plot holes and hopefully improve the quality. The plot and characters wouldn't change very much, just small improvements here and there. If that doesn't sound like something you would be interested in that's fine, just let me know.

IF that is something you would be interested in reading, tell me. If i get enough feedback in the next few days I'll start writing right away. I have some ideas already but I'm not going to bother if no one cares. 

Just let me know what you think, I will be awaiting feedback.

\- Headphone Archaeologist


End file.
